She wonders when it happened.
You know….when she lost herself. When the ever perfect Casey McDonald fell on love with her ever imperfect stepbrother Derek Venturi.
She likes to think it was before Truman (carboncopiedfake), but in her heart of minds, she knows it was at the wedding. The wedding that binded them together as family.
-but not really because they would neverevernever be related. he would always be her stepbrother-
She remembers even today what his catch phrase was. What Derek Wants, Derek Gets. And she'd always wondered if he wanted this. His keener stepsister attracted to him. wanting him. needing him.
-but she thinks not, and that this is just a fluke. a long overdue teenage rebellious streak that never quite found its way out of her system.-
She remembers going through guys, always wondering what was wrong with her; why couldn't she stick with one; why couldn't one of them like her, be the one for her; why couldn't she be good enough for them. And when she finally found the answer, she wanted to cry.
It was when she was with her new heartbreak-waiting-to-happen, Truman French. They were on the couch at her house(hishouse) and she thinks he said something 'charming and witty', and he smirked. When she says 'smirks', she means 'tried to smirk'. It came out looking fake and forced and not like it just slipped onto his face like it was meant to be there and then it hit her. Why none of her relationships worked.
It wasn't what was wrong with her, but what was wrong with them. They didn't have brown reddish hair that even though it looked like just-rolled-out-of-bed messy, it really was natural. They didn't have deep brown eyes that could go from black anger to golden happiness then to smoldering mischievousness in a matter of seconds. They didn't have the quick wit, or the ability to lie through their teeth for good reason. They didn't have a soft spot for their youngest sister, the only person that could melt their heart. They didn't give her looks like she could be the dorkiest, most annoying person on the planet, and yet make her feel special and amazing for being herself. They didn't fight with her, or rile her up, just to keep her out of a funk. They didn't share those moments with her where no else existed, and they were the only ones there. They didn't have the ability to make her heart soar and swell and beat so hard that it was a wonder it hadn't broken out of her rib cage yet.
They didn't have the name Derek Venturi.
-after she had this epiphany, she promptly excused herself from the room and threw up in the bathroom-
It's been three years since she last saw him; with her best friend on his arm wearing a white dress(herwhitedress) and him in a tux(hewasabeautifultragedy)
She stood where she never wanted to be, and watched what she never wanted to see, and when asked, she answered that they were happy tears, filled with joy for her friend and stepbrother.
She won't marry; because she's learned that she can't handle anymore lies. She won't be with him, because those special moments, the ones meant for just them(thetwoofthem), are for them(herandhim) now.
she still sees him. she still dreams of him. and she still loves him.
but he's not hers.
And she still wonders when she lost herself.
first ever LWD fic. DASEY FOREVER! xD anyway, i just saw the episode Surprise! which is funny, cause i watched Truman's Last chance, then Futuritis, so in between the two, i was wonder how someone as smart as Casey's supposed to be got back together with scum like Trollman. Seriously? And not to mention Demily. I mean come on! I dont like Demily for tWO reasons. One (Which is kinda obvious) is that Derek and Casey belong together. and the second reason? Sheldon is the only one for Emily. Does ANYONE remember him? you know....Sheldon Shlepper, the adorable dork that Emily was perfect with? Yea, i like Derek and Emily as friends, but not as a couple...
Anyway, got off track there. But this was kinda inspired by the horrible wreck that is the final episodes. My Dasey-addled brain kept dillusioning me to see, or think that what if when Casey caught them in the closet she'd feel jealous...or something like that, but i just rambled with this fic.
My author's note sucks, but i'm really tired. i just had some midterm exams, and i should be sturdying right now, but instead, im writing Dasey fanfics and reading Jalex fanfics (yea, that couple too ;P)
Soooooo, i hope you enjoyed this, hopefully i'll get my act together and write the rest of my Inkheart Megfinger fic.....and all the others i never finished.....^^;
R&R (but no flames, those are annoying little buggers)