Silver Nitrate

I hum mutely to her as she begins to fade into sleep; her eyelids falling and her breath as shallow as the wind's whispers. Her head is perched atop my heaving chest while her hair is sprawled in every direction under the shading gray of night… I lean a bit forward as I wrap my arms tighter around her, strengthening the bond between her and I while trying to grasp the fact that my mistakes will always carry me back to this moment. I look out into the bleak forest where the shadows linger and beckon me to hurry up; their eyes piercing me with glares that I cannot deflect … Between the choice to stay and the choice to leave, I ask them to wait for just a few more moments.

Inside, I am screaming. Outside, I am humming… Inside, I am crying. Outside, I am trying to keep a straight face… From what I know, the whole world is sleeping and I am the only one who is awake; to say goodbye to it. Humanity is altering and from the heaviness of my heart, I believe that it is not for the good but for the worse. Another sad hum… a melody… that is all I can give to it… That's all I can give to her, and only her…

I nuzzle her head softly with my own, closing my eyes and taking in as much of her scent as I can. Running a hand through her strawberry-scented, tangled hair, I realize that what I'm about to lose is the only thing I have had all along. I don't want to leave it, though… I don't want to leave her... I have so much to say, so much to teach… so much to learn from her…

If I had the choice, I would stay. Fulfill just one promise, and not fail…. But I can't. I can't because I don't have the will power to do so. This is not my purpose… this is not why God made me like this… this was not what Maria had wanted. I can't be the protector and I definitely can't be there for her... I can't. It was a mistake… I shouldn't have met her… I shouldn't have said anything…

But... where would I be? Through the fusion of silica and the fragments of oxide, what would I see in myself? Who would I see beside me?

Would I be alone?

These questions can only make me growl in frustration.

The bottom of my lips is trembling and my eyes are beginning to swell… The golden hues of the dead lick at the sky as one of the last Autumn leaves fall onto the sinful soil, withering under the blond face of the pale moon as if cowering. This is my time of leaving now… Summer is over, and everyone is in their slumber… and I'm awake… Carefully, I untangle myself from her arms and give one last warm kiss on her forehead. She stirs but does not awaken. Removing the plaid blanket that she had brought for the both of us, I leisurely place it over her frail body and run a tepid hand over her pallid cheek. She gives a faint blush as her muscles relax from their stress.

I don't want to leave her… I swear it, I don't.

My mouth inches closer to her ear, and it was intended that she could heed me through her dreams… for one last time…

But in this diminutive hour, I could not find the right words to say.

Then, leaving her alone and defenseless, I leave. It all leads back to that moment…if only I hadn't meddled…

…if only I hadn't said a thing.

Author's Note: This very short story was inspired just by love itself. It can make you feel fluffy; it can make you feel alone... Sometimes, you have to give a lot of things up for it or you have to give the whole thing up itself. What I'm basically saying it this: love is not perfect.

Hope you enjoy it. Tootles~