This is a one-shot I had in my mind for quite sometime. Yay! Grown up Allana! Whoop!
Allana followed her mother through the familiar corridors of the Hapan Palace. She had recently returned from the Jedi Academy and was trying to reacquaint herself with her home. It was good to be back. Even though Allana got to spend a great amount of time with her aunt, uncles and cousin, Hapes was a good vacation. Besides, she would be able to be around her grandparents and mother more than usual.
"Here you are." Tenel Ka stopped in front of a set of massive double doors the color of dark exotic fruit. The double doors were down the hall from the Queen Mother's own chambers.
Allana stepped into the room and smiled. Memories of her childhood, however short, flooded her mind and senses. The place where her activities table once lay was now a very large dresser. Grinning lopsidedly, Allana ran and pounced on the bed. It was a cloud compared to the rock cots on Ossus.
The Queen Mother looked on with a sense of amusement. Even though jumping onto a bed was not becoming of a future queen, Tenel Ka enjoyed those moments Allana was allowed.
Allana looked over to her. "Thank you, Mother." Still grinning, the teenager tried to imprint her mother's image into her brain. Her copper hair barely brushed with sliver still kept in multiple braids down to her chest. The casual turquoise gown she wore was covered with a maroon scarf that disguised her missing arm. The attire seemed to remind Allana of her future. Gowns, crowns and politics. She inwardly shuttered at the realization.
Tenel Ka felt the discomfort and came over to sit on the edge of the bed. She opened her arm for Allana to embrace. The girl crawled over. She laid her head on her mother's shoulder. The Queen Mother stroked her daughter's dark hair. As a child, Allana had sported beautiful orange ringlets but over time the copper had turned to an elegant crimson red.
"I know sweetie, I know." Tenel Ka continued to stroke Allana.
Allana sighed with resignation. This was supposed to be a break, not more queenly or Jedi duties. Glancing around, her stormy grey eyes found a chest on the opposite side of the room. She went over to the simple wooden chest.
Upon opening it, Allana looked to her mother. "You kept all of these?" She asked awestruck.
Tenel Ka chuckled as she joined her daughter in front of the chest. "Yes I did. Against the interior designer's interest, mind you."
Allana laughed as she started through the piled of stuffed creatures from throughout the galaxy. Many held no significance to her now, save for one. Allana dug, determined, to the very bottom of the chest. Her bedroom floor was now strewn with stuffies laying at the Chume 'da and Queen Mother's feet.
Carefully, Allana pulled out the one creature that seemed to matter now, also eleven years later. The stuffed bantha was cold from being so close to the tile floor. She held the stuffed animal with both hands, recalling the memory that accompanied it.
"Nice fur." She had said, observing her new toy. "What's its name?" Allana looked up at the man standing in front of her.
He kneeled down to be at eye level with her. "What do you want to call him?" Allana regarded the man. He was her mother's friend and ally.
He had soft brown eyes that made Allana feel safe. As did the crocked smile he held. "Jacen."
"That's lovely, if I do say so myself." The man winked at her and she giggled. "Why Jacen sweetie?"
"So when you don't come and see us, I can talk to him instead." Allana could clearly see the man struggling with something. His eyes had become happy and sad at the same time. He then did something that not many people had attempted. The man reached out to stroke her ringlets.
"Take care of your mother for me Allana. Do you think you can do that?" He asked with his hand still holding her head.
She nodded. "I promise, Jacen. I promise."
He smiled warmly back at her. "Thank you." He leaned over to kiss her on the head.
The man stood up and started for the exit but stopped and turned. "You be good."
Allana giggled and waved at the man. "I will. Bye Jacen!"
"Goodbye."
Allana's mind raced back to reality as she held the bantha. As a child she had known Jacen to be close with her mother due to his constant visits. She had trusted him and -whether she had wanted to or not- Allana had loved him. Those feeling and memories seemed to have shattered when he had taken her from Hapes. Later revealing Allana's true paternity.
Sighing, the teenager began placing the stuffed creatures back into the chest. The bantha, Jacen, remained on the floor next to her knee. Allana felt her mother's regret and sadness. For once the Queen Mother felt helpless. Allana didn't blame her.
"I remember burying him. That's why I paid no attention to the others." The girl said, closing the chest. "When I returned I took him and shoved him deep down."
Allana fought back another memory. "I did it after you had tucked me in on the first night back. I didn't know what to feel." She picked up the animal yet again and couldn't decide whether to hold onto the creature never to let go or hurl it into the nearest trash compactor.
"You couldn't have known." Her mother said. She was now crouching beside Allana with her hand on her shoulder.
"I was so confused." She said wiping back an angry tear. "So many things were running through my head. Why did he take me away? If he were my father then why did he kidnap me? Did he even love me? Now I know. I know everything now." Her voice was shaking. "Being with Grandma and Grandpa was different though." She smiled recalling all the crazy situations she and her grandparents had been in. "I felt as if he wasn't all bad. That maybe he was good when he died.
"Yes. Jaina told me. It took forever to worm the details out of her, but I finally got it." Tears were starting down her cheeks. "Before he died, he reached out to you. To save me! Why couldn't she have saved him?" Allana was practically yelling now. She put her hands to her face in a feeble attempt to hide herself. Internally she was cursing everything with a very fine list Corellian vocabulary. Her grandfather would have been proud.
Finally tired of feeling sorry for herself, Allana let out the one question she had held for many years with a soft whisper. "Why couldn't he save himself?" Her tears had stopped as she sat defeated in the floor of her bedchamber.
Tenel Ka fought back the urge to sob with her daughter, but the past was the past. Allana would learn that lesson someday. Time could not be rewritten. Tenel Ka laid a comforting hand on her daughter's shoulder. "I apologize daughter, but I cannot answer any of your questions because I myself am at a loss." Reaching forward, Tenel Ka brought her daughter into a hard embrace. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry.
.
After an extremely emotional reunion, mother and daughter made their way to the gardens. As the pair walked through the winding paths a burst of excitement and joy filled Allana's sense before she could realize what was happening.
Pouncing out of nowhere, a full-grown nexu tackled the teenager and brought her to the ground. Laughing endlessly, Allana rubbed her pet fondly. "Hey Anji! I take it you missed me!" The nexu licked her repeatedly.
Her mother laughed whole-heartedly. "Yes she has. I believe that is the reason Anji and I have grown so close."
Allana smiled up at her mother as Anji respectfully hopped off her master. Grinning, Allana continued to scratch the nexu.
"How ya' doin', kid?" Allana's eyes widen in surprise as she turned around. Grinning from ear to ear were her infamous grandparents. Han Solo was dressed in casual trousers and boots with a blaster still holstered to his hip. His arms were spread wide in an inviting embrace. Allana, still laughing over Anji's return, ran into her grandfather's arms, holding him tight. She buried her head into his chest, taking in the Corellian cologne.
Still grinning, Allana looked up at Han. "I am so happy you guys decided to retire here."
"As are we." Her grandmother piped up. Allana released Han and moved to Leia's outstretched arms.
She was now almost as tall as the older woman, which made Allana feel quite old. "I missed you two." Stepping back, she regarded her grandmother. "I swear Aunt Jaina looks more like you every day, but don't tell her I said that."
Before Leia could reply, Han wrapped his arm around Leia's shoulders. "Believe me, she knows." He said with a wink.
"Speaking of which, how is our daughter?" Leia asked still smiling at her granddaughter.
Allana chuckled. "Master Solo-Fel is adjusting to life as a true Master. Her apprentice is still trying to comprehend the situation himself."
"You mean Jaina has an apprentice?" Han looked puzzled.
"Yes. I forget his name, but sometimes during our free time, Jag and I will overlook the learning." Again, Allana chuckled. "That kid has a long way to go."
Off in the distance a bell chimed. Allana looked around confused. Han glanced back at the palace. "Well kiddo, I guess we can finish catching up over a nice dinner."
"I wasn't aware that the kitchen had a bell." Allana stated.
Tenel Ka came up to lead her daughter back towards the dinning hall. "Captain Solo pulled a few strings."
Han looked back to wink at Allana. "I expect to retire like royalty."
"Trust me, its not all that great." Allana muttered under her breath.
.
After a filling meal, Allana made her way back to her chamber with Anji close on her heels. "I promise I won't leave for a while, Anji. Okay?"
The nexu didn't seem to like the notion of Allana leaving at all. Sighing, Allana pushed open her doors. It had been a long, tiring day. She flopped on her bed. She heard Anji pawing around the room, familiarizing herself with her surroundings.
Allana's eyes drifted shut welcoming sleep. Barely awake, Allana heard a slobbering sound coming from Anji. Bleary eyed, Allana looked over to her nexu and jumped up. "No! Anji stop!" The nexu was hunched over the spot where Allana had left the stuffed bantha earlier that day. "Stop!"
Rushing over, Allana looked under Anji to find the bantha covered in Anji's slobber. Relieved, Allana picked up the stuffed creature and went to the refresher. She walked over to the sink to wash off the bantha. The soaked animal looked pathetic in her eyes, but deep inside she loved it anyway. Without admitting to anyone, the bantha was one of Allana's most prized possessions forgotten in time. The bantha was the last thing Jacen Solo had given to her.
When the stuffed bantha was clean enough for Allana's liking, she shut the water off and grabbed a towel. Before she could dry off the bantha, Allana shrieked, dropping everything in her hands. A hazy blue figure was leaning against the doorpost watching Allana as she worked.
Recovering from the initial shock, Allana recognized his face. The objects on the floor didn't matter as she gazed upon her father's ghost. "What do you want?" Allana winced inwardly. The question had come out harsher than she had intended.
Jacen's face turned sad almost pained. "I heard you today. I thought it was finally time to visit you, Allana."
"What are you saying?"
"I've always been there. A Force sensitive human can do a lot in the afterlife, believe it or not." Jacen smirked.
Allana was still struggling for words. "Why now? You've been dead for a decade and yet you say you have always been there for me." Realizing the meaning of her own words, Allana walked past the ghost and sat on the bed with Anji curled beside her. "You're not my father. You're just a useless ghost spinning lies." Allana looked down at the floor. She couldn't bear the expression present on his face.
"You're right." Still looking down, Allana's eyes widened. His response shocked her. "Why should you trust me?" Out of the corner of her eye, Allana could see him walk over and sit beside her. "I don't expect any kind of sympathy, Allana. I merely wanted you to know that I am always here."
His words were kind. Allana thought back to the man who handed her a stuffed bantha so many years ago. Jacen sighed and got up. He started to walk away, fade. "Wait! Don't go!" Allana called after him.
Turning, her father looked her square in the eyes. "My whole life you've been a mysterious black spot. No one dares to bring up a lasting conversation of Jacen Solo. It took multiple try's for your own sister to admit anything!" Allana's temper was rising. "If you love me in any way shape or form, you will give me answers. You will tell me why my father is dead."
Jacen regarded in a way that reminded Allana of her grandfather. His arms were crossed and he was dressed in- of all the things- Jedi robes! At least they looked like Jedi robes. "Allana-"
"Don't start explaining. I know everything from what Uncle Luke discovered retracing your steps." The confusing emotions and thoughts began haunting her again. "Jacen I- I just wish you were here! I wish you were here to teach me, comfort me and tell me right from wrong!" She looked up at the ghost. He was quiet, letting her fume. "If you heard me this morning…you know how I feel." Allana sagged.
Jacen resumed his place by her side. He reached out to place his hand on her shoulder. She saw him repeatedly try to touch her but only phase right through never tomake contact. After his failed attempts at comforting his daughter, Jacen clenched his fist and sighed in frustration. "I'm sorry Allana. I'm sorry; I couldn't be there for you. I tried to make this galaxy a better place for you. Please don't ever believe I didn't love you. I love you Allana. Past, present and future."
Allana looked over at him. She felt if he had been there physically, he would be crying. She remained silent as he continued. "I looked my whole life for something to fight for. For a long time I felt I would strive to act in the greater good of the galaxy." Jacen scoffed. "What good that did. And then you came along." Jacen smiled. "I finally had a cause. Your bright innocent presence was to be protected at all costs. So I chose and acted." He reached his hand and held her face as he did when she was young.
"Well, how does it feel?" Allana asked.
"Oh, Allana." He looked at her lovingly. "Every decision I have made has turned out for the best. You are a beautiful grown up girl. You are talented and powerful. I know you will lead with the same wisdom and fairness as your mother. Even though we have had troubled times, I wouldn't give any of that up."
Allana still looked unsure. "How will I know what the right choice is?"
Jacen merely shrugged. "You won't. All you have to do is choose and act."
"Will you be with me?"
"Always."
I hope you enjoyed it! You know the routine, comment or review. Please leave your thoughts.