A/N: This was inspired by Mander-Lee's fanart on Tumblr (and when I figure it out, I will ask her permission to use it as the cover). This chapter is just a few snippets of Gen and Irene first finding out they are expecting. I hope you enjoy!
Irene settled back in her chair, reading over the letter to Helen she had just finished. There was nothing particularly sensitive about it - but she still decided to wait a day or two before sending it. Eugenides was currently "touring" army posts in Eddis with the newlywed king and queen. Irene suspected it was a cover for a vacation from her court; but she couldn't blame him for being homesick. While she was quite sure Helen would not intentionally share the letter with her cousin, Irene had no doubt Gen would at least make a pretense of stealing it to see what she said about him behind his back.
Although, Irene thought as she signed and sealed the letter, she'd had very little against Gen to say - at least in this letter. She truly believed he was beginning to see that acting as king in his own right was only increasing her power. Why, collecting this season's taxes from her barons had gone extremely smoothly; she had had fewer barons attempting to shortchange their share by under reporting their crop yields.
She sighed, settling back in her chair again. She couldn't believe how tired she was. There was still time before she had to go down to dinner, but she felt as if she had just come back from an all-night feast.
Irene glanced over at the bed, wondering if perhaps she did have time for a nap before dinner when there was a soft knock of her attendants at the door.
"Come in" she called, giving the bed one last longing glance.
"My Queen." It was Phresine. "Do you wish to freshen up for dinner?"
"Yes, that would be prudent." And a distraction from the work piled on her desk. Irene didn't voice that thought.
Her attendants filed in, and Irene found their quiet chatter amusing as they adjusted her hair. Apparently, one of her former maids, who had left Irene's service to marry, had visited today, heavy with her first child. Irene's attendants merrily chatted about babies and marriage and what might be in store in their own futures.
Irene smiled at all the appropriate moments, but her heart was not in it today. The subject was sensitive, and while she did not care to share that with her girls, she felt her heart constrict in pain. She and Eugenides had been trying for a child, with no luck. Of course a child was necessary for the continuation of the rule over Attolia; raised as a princess, Irene well knew the duty of a daughter to preserve the family line.
The need for a child had always been apparent – the desire, the longing for one, a more recent addition.
It had taken them a long time to reach a level of intimacy that could create that future. All too often, she would see the pain in his eyes he tried to hide, a flinch of fear, and her own inner demons would force her to back away, away from the boy she had treated so ruthlessly.
Although she would never admit it aloud, the assassination attempt had brought them closer. Gen had been so vulnerable, sleeping in her bed, in her night things. And the thought of losing him ... it had made her more determined to recreate trust between them.
Irene was quite certain the issues would lay between them forever- in the way Gen would jerk awake in the middle of the night after a nightmare or startle if she tried to wake him. But somehow, they had managed to the work through it. They shared the same bed - much to the whole courts knowledge when Eugenides had given up how separate quarters and moved, not into the adjoining queen's chambers, but right into her own.
It was a complete and utter lack of privacy such as Irene had never experienced before. True, she had always been surrounded by attendants, but to share a room – it had been a nightly surprise to retire to find Gen already sprawled in her bed. But, even the initial indignation had faded to comfortable routine, even if she did often wake in the night to find his side of the bed cold. Yet, he was always somehow there in the morning when she woke, so she pretended not to notice his midnight excursions.
Their new proximity had reignited discussions of an heir. At first, Gen's recovery from the assassination attempt precluded any thoughts except improving his health. When she had first, tentatively, brought it up, he had laughed, telling her Attolia would probably be better off without an heir – no one for the conniving court to plot against. And after they were gone, who cared? She hadn't spoken to him for a week.
He had apologized, reminding her of the responsibility to be placed on the child to protect Attolia, Eddis, and Sounis. She had nearly gotten cold feet, thinking how a child must be raised to provide that sort of stability for the future. Of her own brutal training.
Gen refused to have a child just for the sake of an heir, however. It had taken her weeks to understand his argument, but the slightest smile tugged at her lips as she remembered the night when it had all made sense:
"Do you want to have a child, Irene?" Gen was sitting cross legged on the bed, the covers smooth as if they hadn't been touched.
"Eugenides." Her voice was stern. It was an old argument, and one he well knew the answer too.
"That's not the question." He sounded more like a two-year old who hadn't gotten the cookie he asked for.
"Then what is?" She sat down on the edge of the bed, hands folded in her lap.
"Do you want a baby, Irene? Not an heir, not the next Attolia or Attolis. A baby. If I was a simple goatherd and you were my wife, would you want a baby?"
She raised an eyebrow. "You willingly call yourself a goatherd?"
"I said if not I am" came his mumbled response. She ignored it, and contemplated her answer. He scooted closer, scooping both her hands into his. "Would you want to have my baby?"
His baby. Now it was clear. It was almost a second proposal of marriage. One where she had a choice. Well, sort of.
She reached up and brushed his cheek, tucking a curl of hair behind his ear. "Are you asking if I still love you?"
He ducked his head. "Do you know what it's like to have a baby?"
Her eyebrow raised. "You do?"
He sucked in his bottom lip. "Not that I've ever had one, but I do have sisters. Who are respectable housewives. With loads of children."
"And?" She was genuinely curious now as to where he was taking all this.
He flushed. Obviously he wasn't expecting to have to expand on his point. "It's a nine month commitment just to get started. And those are probably the easy months."
Both eyebrows shot up at that statement. She may not have experienced it, but she knew for a fact that carrying and delivering a baby was no easy feat.
He continued before she could open her mouth. "But then you have this baby. This little person. And then you have to teach them. And watch them grow, and make their own mistakes, and hope they listen to your guidance, and worry when they fail, and help them stand back up." He seemed embarrassed by his speech, and ducking his head added, "Why do you think my father is all gray?"
She laughed at that. She couldn't help it. She leaned forward, planting a kiss on his lips, pulling away before he could deepen it.
"Eugenides, that is why I want to have a baby with you. Having the child is a necessity. No more than you or I can change our heights," she added before he could protest. "However, there is no one else I would rather have at my side to raise that baby into an adult."
His eyes were mischievous now. "You still didn't answer the question." His fingers played with the folds in her gown. "Do you want to have my baby? You know, one that might look like me or have my grin?" He faced her with a crooked smile.
She kissed him, long and slow, her arms wrapping around him as he managed to pull her farther up the bed and into his lap. "I would love a baby with your smile." She pulled away to watch his face, "As long as that smile does not hide the devious mind that you have."
He gasped in mock offence, but she didn't give him time to respond. She placed her lips on his again, pouring her passion for him, for the life they could make together, into that kiss, making it a better answer then any words.
Irene shook herself mentally. That had been months ago now with no luck. Ornon had somehow found out, and beat a steady rhythm of Gen's poor health into both their heads until Eugenides had banished him to Medea. The seed had been planted, however, and Petrus had made it his solemn duty to insist they drink copious amounts of foul smelling concoctions.
While she enjoyed the relative peace of not having an infant in her life, at moments like these, the desire was brought to the front of her consciousness.
"My Queen?" Phresine's voice interrupted her swirling thoughts.
"It looks very nice." She complemented her attendants on the completion of her hair. "I will be down momentarily." The girls filed out, and Irene allowed herself a small sigh before she realized she wasn't alone.
"Phresine. I believe you have been adopted some of Attolis' sneakiness."
"My apologies, my Queen, but an old woman like myself doesn't move as fast as she used to."
Irene rose. Whenever Phresine referred to herself as an old woman, there was surely a lecture to follow. She raised one eyebrow in anticipation.
Phresine paused, then uncharacteristically said, "My Queen, I request permission to speak openly."
Irene lowered herself back into her seat. This was not the Phresine she knew. "Of course. I always believed it to be an old woman's right to speak her mind."
Phresine smiled, turned once to check that the door was securely latched, then approached Irene.
"My Queen, I hope it is not to bold of me to ask if you and his Majesty Attolis have given any thought to having an heir to the throne?"
Irene folded her hands in her lap. "It is the duty of any monarch to preserve the integrity of their family line."
"Of course, My Queen." Phresine inclined her head in agreement. "Perhaps I should have asked what steps have been taken?"
Irene could feel the color rising in her cheeks. She turned away, and busied herself adjusting a pin in her hair. "His Majesty Attolis and I have taken our duty seriously and have begun the proper steps to secure the monarchy."
Phresine touched Irene's elbow, turning her away from her mindless task. "Call it an old woman's intuition, but I suspect you may be closer to success than you think."
Any heat that had been in her cheeks drained as Irene glanced down at herself, then at Phresine. She took a deep breath, trying at her usual calm. Her oldest attendant's intuition was too predictable to doubt, but this?
"You suggest that I am already with child?" Her voice came out colder then she intended, but it was the only way to hide her swirling thoughts, Shouldn't I be able to figure that out for myself? and other, darker, fears of the cutthroat court that would tear apart any child raised in their midst.
Phresine's smile was large enough to chase away any doubt. "My Queen, I very much suspect you are carrying your first child." Her smile only widened as she saw Irene's hand drift toward her middle, wondering if there really could be a small life growing there.
Irene splayed her fingers over her belly as if to protect it against unknown forces. "Who else knows?"
Phresine smiled softly, reaching over to pat her shoulder. "Just you and I, My Queen."
"No one else could have guessed?"
"Only those with eyes in their head, who have watched you closely these past few weeks."
"Few weeks? What made you suspect?" Irene glanced down at herself, looking for any clues.
"Don't worry, most would attribute your fatigue and lack of appetite from over work and loneliness while your husband has been away."
Irene looked up at her in surprise. That was all the evidence Phresine needed to reach this conclusion? And how was she to tell Gen? His smile would certainly rival Phresine's when he found out. She'd have to find a way to keep him from dancing on the rooftops!
"I need to be sure." Already, she was feeling attached to this phantom human being, and was scared it would be an illusion, ripped away from her under the harsh light of reality.
"Speak with Petrus, my Queen. He will confirm it for you. And be very discreet."
He had better. She paid him good money for his discretion. "Very well. I will call him after dinner. I suspect the food will be getting cold."
Phresine bowed her head, and offering congratulations, withdrew, leaving Irene alone for a moment.
Irene took several deep breaths to steady herself. This was unexpected. She had always believed a woman would instinctively "know" when that small life began. Not that she'd had any real experience; it was often expected that women would return to their family holdings to await the birth of their children. She bit her lip as she realized how unprepared she was for this. She couldn't expect Helen to have advice, and Irene had no one to ask about childbirth. She closed her eyes and swallowed, refusing to let the fear envelop her. She could ask Gen's sisters' for advice. She nodded to herself, and with one last glance down at herself, she rose and went down to dinner.
"Congratulations, my Queen, you are having a baby." Petrus' words caused a sigh of relief. Irene had somehow managed to make it through dinner keeping the news to herself, but in the quiet, waiting for Petrus to arrive and complete his examination, her fears and worries had multiplied.
She had to lick her lips before answering, "Thank you."
"If it pleases you, I will send for a midwife to better prepare you. I will, of course, oversee all of your care, but Your Majesty may be more comfortable with a woman?" Petrus' voice squeaked a bit with his own boldness.
"Leave her name with Phresine. I will send for her at my convenience." Irene wasn't ready to share the news with a stranger. Besides, Eugenides would more than likely want to vet any potential candidates for her care. She couldn't say she blamed him. She found her hand drifting towards the growing baby and stopped herself. She would not give this away. She could not afford for anyone to find out.
She thanked Petrus for his time, and was alone again. Her worries and fears had left her feeling more exhausted then earlier, so she prepared herself for bed. Sleep was hard to come by. She was more elated then she let herself realize when she had not been alone. She smiled into the darkness, allowing both hands to roam where they pleased, imagining the growth of her baby, the feel of her baby under her heart. Sleep finally found her, her face softer than any had seen by day in a very long time.
Irene woke to a hand slipping around her waist, and she had a knife in her hand before her eyes were even open. She felt her fist slam into flesh just as her eyes landed on the face of her husband.
"Eugenides." Her voice was shriller then she cared to admit. The knife dropped into her lap harmlessly; he had caught her fist with his hand, pushing the knife away from danger.
He barely blinked, considering he had nearly been mauled in his own bed. "Shh," he reached to push a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's okay, it's only me."
Irene sat up, lighting the candle beside her. "How dare you." She crossed her arms. This time, he had gone too far.
Eugenides pulled back in surprise. "Irene, I'm sorry. You were sound asleep…"
"By myself." At least her voice held more composure. She adjusted the blanket around herself. "You were not expected for another two days." She glared into his eyes.
He glanced down, away from the accusation. "I couldn't wait to see you?"
Irene was not reassured by his questioning tone. "And where are your attendants? Your entourage? Have you left them all behind? You certainly didn't ride ahead." She tried not to feel the twinge in her heart even as she said the words. Any confidence he may have had on horseback had left him with his missing hand.
He licked his lips. "No, they are camped outside. The gates were closed for the night, and I didn't want to rouse the whole guard …"
"So you slipped in unaccompanied? And what are your guards to think when they find you missing in the morning? Think you are kidnapped and search the country, that's what." Irene recognized her composure was slipping, and tried to breathe deeply to calm herself. She knew her reaction stemmed out of fear – for his safety, as well as the child he didn't even know about.
He was picking at the bedcovers now, a sure sign he was uncomfortable. "I was going to be back before they started looking for me."
"You will not. You will send a guard to inform Teleus that you are here, and to inform your guards that you are here. After that, you are free to come to bed or roam the palace as you wish." She blew out the light. She knew he was here now, so his touch would not startle her again. She lay back down, listening as Eugenides padded to the door, spoke with the guard outside. She tried to slow her breathing and appear asleep as he slipped into bed and whispered to her back.
"I'm glad to be home, Irene."
Her breath hitched. She knew he was often homesick for Eddis, had even accepted it when he had made his tour twice as long as necessary to see his homeland again. Sometime when she hadn't been looking, this had turned into his home.
Eugenides, curse him, had caught the subtle change. He kissed her cheek softly. He also decided she wasn't going to yell at him anymore, and wrapped his arms around her to prepare for sleep.
Irene lay still for a few moments, wondering if now was the right time to tell him. Perhaps it could wait until morning. But she knew he would be crushed if she held back any longer then she had too, and right now, she knew she needed his full support. For to face a fractured court, they must always be on the same side.
She sat up again, and once again the room was filled with light as she lit the candle. Eugenides blinked up at her from the pillow. She leaned down, catching his face with her hand, and brushing her lips on his. She had truly missed his company, and she allowed herself a few moments to wordlessly express it to him.
"I love you, Irene." The words were a puff of air on her lips.
She pulled away, her mouth too dry with nerves to return his sentiment. She sat up, and pushed the loose strands of hair off her forehead. Eugenides wasn't fooled by her nonchalance, and scrambled up to sit beside her. He waited in silence, instinctively giving her the space to speak when she was ready. Whatever his faults, Irene had no doubt Eugenides would be the confidant of their child.
She licked her lips. "I really wish you had gotten home earlier today Eugenides."
"I wanted to, but the river was high and I already gave orders to have the bridge raised but …" his voice trailed off. "What happened today?" he prompted.
"I had some rather wonderful news." She could see the suspense nearly killing him. She turned to look him in the eye. "Eugenides. We're going to have a baby."
Gen opened his mouth for what would undoubtedly be an ear-splitting whoop, but her glare silenced it in his throat. Not that she resented his enthusiasm; she did not relish the idea of drawing every guard in the palace to her chambers.
His grin more than made up for it. He scooted closer, wrapping his arms around her. She allowed herself to relax into his embrace, closing her eyes in contentment.
"When? How soon?" He was trying to keep his voice quiet, but the excitement leaked through, and brought a smile to her lips.
"I found out today, and Petrus suggested a midwife for all of the other questions." She couldn't have gotten any further if she wanted to, for Eugenides was kissing her, gently, protectively.
"I will fetch a midwife first thing tomorrow," he promised, his thumb running gently down her cheek.
"Don't scare her, Eugenides." She murmured, contentment and tiredness already causing her eyelids to droop.
"I wouldn't scare a fly." His tone of voice said otherwise, but Irene had learned that sometimes it was safer not to ask. One arm still supporting her, Gen reached around and put out the candle. He drew her even closer as they settled back under the covers.
"I love you, Irene." His whispered words were the last thing she remembered before she fell asleep.
When Phresine arrived the next morning, and found both monarchs curled up together, she quietly closed the door and turned to the other attendants.
"Cancel the queen's appointments for this morning. You may tell them she is addressing other concerns." They silently withdrew.
When Eugenides found out Phresine had cleared Irene's morning schedule, he grinned. "I've got you all to myself, then."
Irene only raised one eyebrow. "She did not, My King, clear your schedule."
"So, so, so. But that is the benefit of arriving home two days early. I have no schedule."
Irene inclined her head. She couldn't argue that.
"We should celebrate."
"May I remind you that celebration may be premature? It is rather unwise to announce my current condition to all our neighbors, friend and foe."
Eugenides rolled his eyes. "Perhaps Attolia cannot celebrate, but Irene can."
He received pursed lips instead.
It was his turn to incline his head. "Perhaps you are right. I will fetch a midwife to tell us when we can start celebrating." He was gone before Irene could even open her mouth. He hadn't even asked who Petrus had recommended. Shaking her head at him, she decided to pen a letter to Helen to pass the time.
Eugenides returned some time later, with a woman of middle age following him into the room.
"Your wife is in the King's chambers?" the woman's voice was incredulous, and Irene immediately suspected what pretense Eugenides had used to bring her here.
"My wife is the Queen." Irene could hardly blame the woman for her small gasp. She turned and saw Irene sitting at her desk, and immediately dropped into a low curtsy.
"My Queen. I am at your service." Irene inclined her head in acceptance. Realization slowly dawned on the woman's face, and she turned back to Gen. Her curtsy hitched in surprise as she added, "My King."
Gen waved his hand airily. "I suppose you could say that is technically our titles." He took the woman's elbow and gently raised her back to standing. "However, you will remember that you are here to see Stenides and his wife Persephone, both servants in the Queen's palace." His voice was still pleasant, but had the hard steal of a threat underneath.
"Of course, My King." The response was barely audible in the still room.
"Good. Now, my wife has a few questions for you."
Irene felt herself warm under the kindly gaze turned toward her. Gen smacked himself in the forehead. "I forgot introductions. This is Adonia. She came highly recommended." Now it was Adonia's turn to blush.
"You are too kind."
Gen looked back and forth between the two of them. "This will only work if you don't let her intimidate you." He addressed Adonia conversationally. "Treat her as you would any of your patients."
Adonia's swallow was audible as she turned back to the Queen. "Permission to speak openly, My Queen?"
Irene sighed and inclined her head.
"May I call you by your given name? I believe it will, um, help." She lost her nerve and licked her lips.
Gen answered for both of them. "You may, but only inside this room, and to no one else." He paused and waited for her nod of assent. "Good. You may call me Gen, and the Queen is Irene."
"It is Eugenides when he is in trouble. You have my permission to use it liberally." Irene stood, moving toward the bed.
Adonia's lips twitched into the beginning of a smile. "Thank you, Irene. I will remember that."
Her examination took longer than Petrus' had, but when she was done, she assured them Irene was about 8 weeks along. Gen pouted after she had been escorted out.
"That's a long wait."
Irene couldn't help her smile. "It is a wonder I should want a baby at all. It appears I am married to one."
"Well, then, I should say you'll have plenty of experience."
She shook her head, refusing to respond to his antics. She had started to turn away, when Gen was there, wrapping his arms around her.
"Are you happy, Irene?" His hand drifted down to her middle, settling warmly over the baby.
"At this moment, I couldn't be happier." She intertwined her fingers with his.
"Well, we're going to keep it that way. Me and the baby. We'll make sure you always have a reason to smile."
A/N 2: I am considering expanding this with more chapters. I welcome all reviews, comments, and suggestions!
~Bookworm