Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Author's Note: Written for a prompt on the Glee Kink Meme.
Finn Hudson's a good guy. Even if he isn't getting any action himself, the fact that his buddy Sam isn't getting action from Quinn bothers him. Quinn's put out before – her getting pregnant makes it a known fact, so he's convinced that she can put out again. "She's had sex before... I mean that's how Puck knocked her up," he reminds Sam, who shakes his head.
"I know. I think she's just... scared or something. She wants more, I mean I can see it, but she just... has a block or something. Like she won't let herself go further than making out and a little grinding," Sam replied, raking a hand through his hair.
"I know what you mean. At least Quinn didn't tell you that she was going to wait til she was 25 to have sex though," Finn sighs, trying to be encouraging.
"Dude, she doesn't think she's going to have sex til she's 25?" Sam asked, a little bewildered.
"That's exactly what I said to her," Finn groaned, a sudden flash of that conversation causing him to shudder, despite the fact that he was in a bath of steaming hot water.
"This is so unfair. It's like a rule. If you're going to date someone on a sports team, you have to put out," the blonde boy pouted.
"I know, but maybe we can help you though. I mean... Quinn's put out before, we just need to figure out why she won't put out again," Finn nodded, a determined look on his face.
"Yeah..." Sam agreed, though he looked unconvinced that they would actually find the answer to his problem.
"Well the last time Quinn had sex, it was with Puck so... maybe she's afraid it's going to hurt? Cause it's supposed to hurt for chicks the first time they have sex?" Finn shrugged.
"I don't think that's it. I mean, Quinn's used to falling off the top of the cheerleading pyramid and stuff now that Santana keeps sabotaging her from the bottom."
"What else happened the first time she had sex then?"
It was at that point that Finn and Sam simultaneously at each other with a knowing glance.
"She's totally afraid I'll knock her up again," Sam said, almost in awe or something.
Honestly, Finn thought that that was a little weird, but whatever. "But there are ways to not get pregnant though. I mean, condoms, the pill, pulling out..."
"Dude, pulling out is totally not an effective method of contraception. So many girls end up pregnant from pulling out..."
"Oh," Finn replied. Well, there would have been some useful information to have learned in sex ed class.
"Condoms and the pill aren't 100% effective either. And I think Quinn's just too freaked out to even have sex when there's a small risk involved. She just needs to be able to have sex where she's guaranteed not to get pregnant so she knows that she can do it without having to worry about pushing a baby out of her, and then she'll probably be okay."
"Okay... that sounds right. But how can Quinn have sex without getting pregnant?" Finn was getting confused very quickly here.
"I don't know, man... she'd have to be a lesbian or something."
The mention of the word lesbian instantly provoked thoughts of the mail for Finn. Lesbians were kind of his go-to porn material when he needed to rub one out, because one naked chick was hot enough, but watching two naked chicks make out, finger each other, and sometimes eat each other out? Yeah. How was he not supposed to get off on that? The only thing that worked better for him than that was picturing Rachel getting herself off. Early in their relationship, Rachel had made it very clear that he wasn't getting any for a while, so they had had a 'talk' in which they had agreed that taking care of their own urges was fine. Rachel wasn't sure how Finn would feel about that, but when he had okayed it, she had typically gone on her Rachel Berry descriptive rants, and she had mentioned the words 'two fingers' . From then on, lesbians had been replaced by Rachel Berry and her famous 'two fingers'.
Wait... Rachel... two fingers... lesbians... "I GOT IT!" Finn yelled, a little louder than necessary.
Sam jumped about a mile in his ice tub. "Jesus, dude. Excited much?"
"Sorry," Finn blushed.
It was then that he proceeded to tell Sam his idea.
Suddenly, Finn thought it was a little less weird that Sam was sitting in a tub full of ice...
When they approached her with the idea, Rachel Berry was, quite honestly, stunned. Rendered speechless even, which was something that never happened to a girl with her linguistic ability. "Is this a joke?" Rachel inquired, blinking rapidly, her mouth half open.
"No," Sam replied, taking the lead from Finn because Rachel looked like she was about ready to kill him for the obvious mental images that had to have brought up this hair-brained scheme. "You'd really be helping me out. Quinn's afraid to have sex because she's afraid of getting pregnant. She just needs to do it one time where that fear isn't in her mind, so she knows how good it feels and then she'll want to have sex with me."
"You do realize how completely and utterly absurd this plan is, not to mention that I'm a straight female, so I have no idea how to have sex with a girl..." Rachel replied, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Yes, you do," Finn nodded, standing beside Sam and exchanging a brief look with him. "Remember that one time we were taking about taking care of our problems, and you told me about what you think about and a bit of what you do? Well, instead of doing all those things to yourself, you would just do those things to Quinn."
"Finn Hudson!" Rachel yelled, a furious blush creeping onto her cheeks. She could not believe that her boyfriend was talking about what she did when she masturbated with her, nevermind in front of someone else.
"Please, Rachel?" Sam begged. "I know that there's not really anything in it for you, here, but you'd really be helping me out. And I promise, I do love Quinn... I'm not just gonna use her for sex. I want the whole thing with her. I really want her to be my girlfriend...she just keeps turning me down."
Rachel pressed her lips together, narrowing her eyes at the both of them for a moment, her arms still crossed tightly over her chest. "Fine. I'll do it."
"You're the best," both boys cooed, before they gave each other a very manly high-five with some kind of grunt that Rachel only assumed was a man signal of some sort.
"I know," she replied. "There's just one problem..."
Quinn Fabray was even more stunned than Rachel Berry when the trio came to see her. "Please tell me that this is just a big perverted joke or something," Quinn begged, shooting daggers at Sam as she listened to Rachel ramble on about what they wanted her to do. "There is no way that I am having sex with you, Man Hands!"
"Please, Quinn," Sam begged, in the same way he had begged Rachel a few days earlier. Rachel had warned them that this would be a major speed bump in their plan. One that neither Finn nor Sam seemed to have anticipated. "I know you want to do more, and you're just scared. This way, you could have sex, and you'd get to feel all the things you didn't get to feel last time with Puck, and you wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant. I know that's what you're scared of," he admitted, taking her hand. "I just want you to enjoy yourself, Quinn. I want you to be able to feel good. If you have sex with Rachel, you'll feel amazing and you don't even have to worry about anything."
Damn Sam Evans for knowing her so well, even if they'd only known each other for a few weeks. It wasn't that she didn't want to have sex again, because she did, but she was afraid of ending up knocked up again. This was a pretty fool-proof plan for her... "And how do we know that Rachel's good at sex? It's not like you two have done it," Quinn said, firing a particularly pointed glance at Finn, who suddenly averted his eyes to the ceiling.
"Quinn, I can assure you that I am quite talented in the art of masturbation, as Finn makes it -"
"Okay, too much information..." Quinn interjected, waving her hands in front of her face. Way to gross her out. Scanning the three of them with her eyes, Quinn mentally pondered the pros and cons of this. Having sex with a girl was gay, she knew that, and Quinn Fabray was not gay, so how was she going to make this straight again?
"I'll do it," Quinn nodded, unfolding her arms from over her chest. "On one condition."
Three eyebrows arched up in suspense, and it took everything in the blonde not to laugh.
"Both Finn and Sam have to be there."
Three jaws dropped all on queue. "Why not? I mean, I'm doing this for Sam, so he might as well get to see it. I might as well put on a show for you, right? And Finn, that'll probably be the first time, and the only time for a long while, that you actually get to see Rachel naked."
Finn looked like he was going to come in his pants, Rachel was stammering, and Sam was just sitting there dumbfounded.
"Do we have a deal, then?"
Both boys responded with a "yes" fairly quickly, and Rachel just gave a small nod.
"Good, my place. Eight o'clock. My mother's out on a retreat tonight and won't be back until late tomorrow morning, so we won't get caught," the blonde informed them, strutting past the three on her way out the door.
"Oh, and Berry, I don't know if you do any trimming, but make sure you take care of yourself. I don't want to feel like I'm going down on a bush," Quinn added, swinging her hips as she walked out the door, leaving three stunned people in her wake.