PARANOID DRUID

Summary: Russell gets a chance to redeem himself and so he is given a task to babysit Arlene's kids. While a certain character is back with a vengeance.

CHAPTER 1: COBY AND LISA

'I won't kill you.' Eric Northman said when he came face to face with the almost three thousand year old vampire; Russell Edgington, his brown eyes swam in blood. 'I know you loved Talbot, but you killed my parents a thousand years ago.'He added calmly while the other dead man continued staring at him. 'I thought it only to be fair.' Eric turned his back to him and started walking, he knew that Russell would eventually call out to him not knowing what to do next as he had already lost Franklin, Talbot, the wolf pack in Mississippi and a few of his vampires.

'What now Northman?' The king asked him as the Viking walked away. 'I know you have something up your sleeve! I can't trust anyone!'

'I'll see what I can do.' The Viking said. 'There's no point in killing each other when we can't bring back the ones we've lost.' He added and flew away into the sky, leaving the vampire king alone on the grounds of his estate rethinking what Eric said.

Eric Northman entered Merlotte's the next evening searching for the bar owner, he already recognized Jason Stackhouse sitting with another woman, he saw Jessica the baby vampire working on tables when she saw him the redhead immediately gave him a small bow.

'Where is Sam Merlotte?' He asked her.

'He's behind the bar.' She pointed Sam for him and he immediately walked to the bar.

Sam was wearing his black shirt; he was cleaning the counter from the beer spills of his customers. When he looked up he stood straight up and nodded at Eric.

'Eric.' Sam greeted.

'Shifter' Eric greeted back. 'you told me that you would somehow repay me for my services after the incident with the maenad.' He added and Sam gave him a small smile.

'I remember you never called afterwards.' Sam said, as he places the towel on below the counter.

'Yes but you told me you'd repay me.' He looks around and sees Arlene's kids; Coby and Lisa who just sat by the counter. 'Oohh...I remember these two.' The vampire approaches them, a smile on his face.

'Look Lisa it's the vamp from a long time ago.' Coby said to his sister Lisa who was eating her burger.

'You like your hamburger little girl?'

'Eric!' Sam snapped at him.

'Can I borrow them?' The vampire asked.

'What? what for?' Sam asked furious. 'They're not for eating!' Everyone in the bar looked at them.

'Go back to your meals people!' Lafayette said getting out of the kitchen. 'Can't nobody get any privacy round here?' The bar patrons obeyed the cook's command and continued with their food.

Sam turned to Eric again and looked up at him straight in the eye.

'What is this exactly about?' The bar owner asked.

'Have you heard of Russell Edgington?' Eric asked him in return.

'Yes, Sookie told me about him.' Sam replied. 'Saw him on tv…' Sam was shocked, remembering that nightly broadcast when Russell ripped out the anchorman's spine like the one in Predator. 'No, no, no you can't borrow them so you can feed them to the dead man.' He turned away but in a millisecond Eric stood in front of him.

'I made a deal with him; I'm going to let him learn to trust me and me to trust him.' He said and Sam almost laughed out loud at how ridiculous it sounded coming from him. The Viking glanced at the two 'teacup humans' and turned to Sam again. 'Do you think they're annoying enough or spoiled?' He asked with a grin on his face.

Sam gave him an I-don't-know-what-you're-thinking-of look and broke the silence.

'Not really, but they like to annoy strangers a lot, like Pam.' Sam replied and Eric grinned wider 'perfect' he said in the back of his mind.

It was about 1am when the bar closed with Terry, Arlene, Jessica, Tommy and Sam being the late shifters of the night. They each bid each other goodbye when Arlene and Terry asked Sam to take care of Coby and Lisa next week because they were going on a vacation. Sam of course, was obliged because Sookie and Bill were having their honeymoon in Vancouver for three months. Sam and Tommy got in their caravan.

'Sam, can Jessica and I have the night shift off on Monday?' Tommy asked his brother.

'Yeah, sure.' He had his hands full, at the moment; Arlene and Terry were going on a vacation and Tommy and Jessica were off on the night shift on Monday. He could always call Tara and Lafayette for that day or he can bring Jesus with him to help around.

TEXT MESSAGE FROM ERIC NORTHMAN

His cell said and he immediately opened it.

So we're set for next week? Coby and Lisa are in for a ride.

How did he know Arlene and Terry were going to be out of town? Sam eventually slept it off, after the night's events, 'maybe things will work out in the end' he said to himself but he had no idea how wrong he was.

MONDAY EVENING

'Hello little teacup humans.' Eric greeted Coby and Lisa after they arrived in the parking lot of Fangtastia. 'Shifter.' He greeted Sam who nodded at him.

Sam was lucky leaving Lafayette and Tara in charge while Jason and Andy Bellefleur, Terry's cousin being a cop was enough to keep the bar from falling apart.

'Where are we going?' Lisa asked curiously, fear in her voice.

'Don't worry little girl, it'll be a surprise.' Eric gave her a smile and then turned to Sam afterwards. 'They'll be fine; I'll make sure of it.' He carried the two kids into his arms without effort and flew into the sky.

"I hope so, I really hope so.' Sam said to himself and drove away in his truck back to Bon Temps.

RUSSELL'S VAMPIRE MANSION STRAIGHT OUT OF GONE WITH THE WIND

They were now on the grounds of the vampire estate as he placed Coby and Lisa down on the ground, the little girl spoke immediately.

'This place scares me.' She said and her brother shrugged.

Eric bites his own arm and instructs them to drink his blood.

'No, it's icky!' The girl said while Coby just took a little of it.

'Do it or I'll leave you here with the king!' He yelled and then calmed down. 'Do you remember what he said on TV little girl? He's gonna eat your mommy after he eats you.' He could have laughed out louder than he ever had in centuries when Lisa started to drink the blood but he contained it for later. 'I'll be able to track you down with my blood inside you; if anything goes wrong I'll come immediately.'

'What's wrong with the king? Why'd he wanna see us?' Coby asked.

'You'll know soon enough Coby.' He gave them both a grin and knocked on the door.

'I'm here to see the king.' He told the guards who opened the door. There was no need to contain him for they knew Russell was expecting him. It was then when Russell appeared coming down from the staircase and welcome them.

'Your majesty.' Eric said and Russell nodded, immediately turning his attention to the children who just stared at him. 'I wish to speak with you in private.' He said, the King turning his attention back to Eric.

'Very well then.' He led them to his office where he had most of his 'unusual' collections. There was a very comfortable sofa that Coby and Lisa liked very much that they started wrestling on it. Eric seeing the King's face irritated made him laugh inside. 'Whose children are these Eric?' He finally asked.

'A friend's friend.' The Viking replied as he sat on one of the individual chairs. 'In order for me to trust you and for you to trust me again, you have to take care of them both for a week.' The look on Russell face made the children roar with laughter.

'Wow! Did you hear that Lisa? A vampire king is gonna take care of us!' Coby said to his sister who smiled at him.

'What fun!' Lisa replied delighted to get away from classmates and teachers complaining about the way they were raised by their mother. They did not notice that the two vampires were looking at them; the other had a KILL ME! KILL ME NOW! expression and the other was saying to himself along the lines of PERFECT! MWAHAHHAHHAAHAHA! *evil grin.

'It'll be good for you my King.' Eric said and Russell rolled his eyes. 'Not just for my benefit but for yours as well, they can warm that old heart of yours.'

'But I have no heart.' The two kids then saw flames all over the office while the king laughed sadistically at them; his eyes were the color of blood, the veins on his forehead showing, someone's spine being waved around.

*CUT IMAGINATION*

'They're good kids…aren't you Coby? Lisa?' The Viking asked leaning forward to them. Annoy him as much as you want, that is why you are here. The King trusts me too much already he will not harm you. He told them telepathically.

'Our mama says so, and mama knows best.' Lisa said that made Eric laugh.

'I'd like to stay but I must fly back to Fangtasia.' He said as he stood up to a towering six feet and four inches tall. 'I'll come back before dawn Your Majesty.' The king looking uneasy but Eric ignored it. 'Good night little teacup humans.' He exited out the window and flew away.

'So? You're name's are Coby and Lisa?' They nodded.

'You are a king?'

'Do you have a crown?'

'Do you have a queen?'

'Do you have a pony?'

'Do you have a dinosaur?'

'I'm hungry.'

'We're hungry.'

'We want ice cream.'

'Eehh…ice cream?' He knew it was something that humans ate but he had no idea what it looked like. Russell only knew what ice and what cream looked like. 'Guards!' He yelled from his office and two of them came inside. 'Get some ice and cream.' For a moment there the kids heard something about dairy.

A minute later the two guards came back with the ice and cream, they handed it to the king who opened it after placing two bowls in front of the kids. It became clear to them that although he was king, he had no idea what ice cream looked like.

'Here's your ice.' He placed the ice in their individual bowls. 'And your cream.' He poured the cream on top of the ice cubes. 'Come on eat it.'

'This isn't ice cream!' They complained and ranted about how there should be a law that states vampire kings and queens should know what ice cream looks like.

'You don't know what ice cream looks like? Why?' Coby asked furious.

'Now I've been a…' He was cut off when Lisa started jumping up and down the sofa that King Leopold of Belgium gave him long ago. 'I'll get you some real ice cream if you would stop doing that my little puddin'

And Lisa stopped.

BON TEMPS

Tommy and Jessica were on their way to Bill's house when there came something from the bushes that made both their spines shiver. They got out of the car to investigate, they could hear it when they start walking but when they stop, the noise also stops. When they turn back to the car a figure appeared, beautiful, she had dark hair and almost something sinister about her.

'Run Jessica! Run!'

Please review dear readers I accept flames and other details are to come so stay tuned.