I don't even...
(I am not bald. Therefore, I am not Ryan Murphy.)
"Well hello there. I'm Riley."
Giggle.
"Well, hi Riley. I'm drunk."
"I can see that. Want another drink?" pause "Hey bartender! A beer for my friend!"
"Really! Oh my god, you're so nice!"
"Here you go."
"Mmm, yummy."
"You never told me your name, you know."
"Mmm. I didn't." giggle
"Excuse me, but that's my boyfriend you're talking to."
"Uh, not your boytoy anymore, shorty. Now shoo."
"Wait, what? When did we break up?"
"If anybody is going to 'shoo' it's going to be you, you creep."
"Blaine, I don't remember breaking up. Is that why I'm drunk?"
"Look, this guy? Deserves a real man. That real man ain't you. Now get out of here, french fry."
"Blaine, can we get back together?"
"No, you stop harassing my boyfriend and get out of here."
"So we're back together now? You're not mad at me anymore?"
so raise your glass if you are wrong, in all the right ways!
"Hey Blaine, that's your brother's ringtone! I remember because I'm a good boyfriend, so let's not break up again."
"Um...Kurt? What are you talking about?"
"The guy with the big nose right there said that we weren't together anymore. I don't remember breaking up but I don't want to. Can we not?"
"My nose isn't big!"
"It's ugly."
dirty little freaks!
"I, uh wha...no. Kurt, We're not broken up."
slam slam, oh hot damn, what part of part-
"Hey, Coop!"
"Unnnngh, Blaine, my head hurts."
"Shhhhh, you're so loud..."
"Hey boys!"
grooooooooan
"Is there any particular reason why you wouldn't shut up about 'looking for you forever' and 'never say goodbye to you' last night? Or is that just normal with you two?"
"Is that orange juice?"
"And aspirin. But really, is that norm-?"
"Cooper give that to me now dammit"
"...I'll ask again later."
HI. I do believe introductions are in order. I am Professor Cheesecake, but you can call me Ryn. Or Robyn. (Most people call me Robyn, but I recently discovered my name can my shortened to Ryn and I've been obsessed with it. It'll probably pass.)
I just really like the idea of Drunk!Kurt. He kind of turned into Brittany here, though-but hopefully that's alright because it's my first time writing him?
I also figured it would please some of you to see Cooper Anderson.
Also (I begin a lot of sentences with 'also') find me on tumblr! I'm cuteandcompactectosignature . tumblr . com (or twitter, in which I am RynMoSi)
And if anybody happens to be a Danny Phantom fan I have a crossover oneshot that has Brittana. Jus' sayin'.
Review if you can, please and thank you! :D