Yo, how's y'all doin' ? New one-shot ( longer one this time ), again featuring the same characters that I've been up to lately. I really hope it's not too intricate ( I use to jump right into the action, so you may have some questions on it; but I think you'll manage to get the main idea and understand what's actually happening and why ), I'm trying to reach that point where every phrase has a hidden meaning ( well.. I guess not really that far, but still.. ), so there might be lines or paragraphs that are not so easy to understand. Anyway, hope you'll enjoy this one as well and.. please leave a review ! Cheers !
PS. Those 4 lines in the beginning also have a really strong bound with Bag's feelings... That's all. xD
- Repentance -
' Slowly flickerin' in thy confused mind,
Wrappin' 'round your dreams, a flame entwined.
They think it's gon' just play with them,
But in the end.. they all will burn.'
' I know you still want me.. '
I feel my head pulsing and turn around with a swift move, then quickly run up to the tiger I've been trying to avoid tonight, passing by some other people who have just got outside the restaurant.
' What ?! No. I don't ! '
I can feel their gazes pointing us, but I can't be bothered right now.
He crosses his arms, the grayish material of his suit stretching out, and lifts his right eyebrow, tilting his head.
' C'mon, I seen you glancin' at me in there.. '
He reaches the other side of his titanium-silver Mercedes, taking slow, dance steps and pulls up the door, as the dark-blue chemise he's wearing under his jacket is contrasting with his orange fur. A vein on my neck is about to blow up and, faded and coming from behind me, I hear Yiks mumbling something similar to ' Ok, I'm gon' go now.. Bye, Bagg ! ', but I ignore him and follow Khan.
' A'right, I ain't playin' your stupid games ! '
From inside the car, he grabs the door grip and gives a small giggle.
' Come and get me ! '
He closes the door.
I almost jump out of rage when I hear his words, then I start shouting while grabbing the other door's handle.
' Will you leave me alone already ?! You've been following me everywhere I went for almost a year now and you'd always trynna piss me off ! Ain't getting it ?! I'm done with you ! '
I let myself fall in the seat and put the belt on as he turns on the car. His old 9 series is nothing compared to this new AMG s97: white leather and mahon everywhere ( I mean, where the glass doesn't replace them ), a huge, overlighted dashboard and, because it's not just a luxury car, a fierce 1800 bhp engine.
' Oh, so you gon' ignore me now ?! '
I pull my door down, then he gets the car out of the parking spot and we head down the street.
' Wait, whatcha doin' ? '
For real, Bagg ? Really ?!
Great ! Now I'm stuck here. And I left my car at the restaurant. Open.
He gradually turns his mouth into a wide smirk and I wouldn't have thought I could've got even angrier than I was.
' Stop the car ! '
He slowly shakes his head, still not getting his eyes off the road.
' Just be a reasonable kitty and let me take you home. '
Kitty ?! Alright, I've had enough !
I take the belt off and open my door, while the car is still moving. He quickly turns his head to me, slightly letting his jaw fall and making an astonished expression, then he stretches over me and closes the door.
' You wanna die ?! '
He draws himself back in his seat, watching the road, turning his gaze to me and then going back to looking through the windscreen.
' Well, rather than stayin' in the same car with you ! '
He gives a quick snort, then strikes the brake pads and I'm thrown forward, almost hitting my head against the clear glass of the windshield.
' Alright, what's your problem ? What have I done to you to deserve this shits you say ? '
He's looking frowned at me as I'm still collecting myself after the sudden shock, then the car begins to move again, slowly rolling on the road.
I'm craving for air, filling my lungs with it and then quickly releasing it back.
' What's my problem ?! Oh, sorry, I guess it's not like you let me hope and then tore my heart when you left me ! I can't believe I slept with you.. '
I turn my face to the window and cover my mouth with my paw. I look on the walkside, at the people we're passing by, and I do something I've never done before - wonder about their lives.
Where are they going right now ? Maybe they are finally going home, after a full working day. Do they have a home ? A job ? Or maybe they just went out for a walk. Or they intend to enter a bar or a restaurant. Maybe their beloved is accompanying them. Do they have a mate ?
Various thoughts and questions flood my mind, overflowing it.
Do they even have enough money to afford dining at a restaurant ? Maybe they are not even paid enough for their work. Maybe they have problems in their families - quarrels and arguments. Maybe their children are caught in their crossfire, suffering and getting depressed. What if they themselves are planning on killing themselves right now, because of these problems ?
How good is their life ? How miserable ? Are there people like me ? Having everything yet nothing ?
My anger looses and I give Khan a short look. My mind and heart are just having a fight inside me, each one of them giving its best. I feel a spark of guilt and I begin to feel sorry for what I've said to him. Does he really deserve my heavy words ?
' What ?! You came at me and said you wanna break up with me ! After all I gave to you. '
An imbold traverses my body and I know my mind has won the battle.
' I didn't need expensive things ! I didn't want having Calvin Kleins on me, a Rolex 'round my wrist or a Lambo parked in front of my house ! I needed attention. Care. I needed you, for God's sake ! '
I take a deep breath, then give out a loud sigh.
' But you wasn't there ! '
I feel the tension in the air as I'm waiting for his answer. He gets angry again and shouts at me, while we get on the highway.
' You know I tried ! I hadda take care of the company or I'd have lost it ! I needed help and comfort too, but you quicka decided to let me down ! '
I know.. I know, I know, I KNOW !
' So yo company is still more important to you than I am ?! If you'd loved me, you'd have been there when I needed you ! '
He strikes the throttle, making the car's engine roar, and it seems like we're flying rather than riding on the road. I choose not to think twice and I put my belt back on, pulling it so hard I almost tear it.
' I couldn't then ! .. '
He stops for a moment, squeezing the steering wheel, letting his head fall down and gnashing.
' I'm sorry… I'm sorry ! .. I love you. I want you back.. '
Me too.
But my mouth spells the words without my approval.
' Oh well, you know what I want ?! You dead ! '
I said it… I can't believe it. I really said it.
He turns to me, widening his eyes and letting his jaw fall and the car gains speed. Then, he releases the steering wheel, his hand turning it to right when it falls on his knee and I also adopt an expression of guilt and sorry, but I know it's too late.
I hear a heavy and strident sound, then a faded white light appears on the windscreen and, right before the impact, I notice Khan is not wearing his belt. A moment later, everything around starts spinning and I'm thrown in different directions, hitting my body against the roof and side of the car.
In the muddle of colors and lights, I see a red stain covering my sweater and I feel the warmth of the fresh blood. I search for Khan with my hand and I take his paw, then I feel a sudden pain in my head and my view begins to blur, until the crushing sounds stop and everything goes dark.
I wake up, but I keep my eyes closed still. I feel a clean smell filling the air and a low music coming somewhere from the right. I try to move my hand and I feel some kind of wires touching my fur. I suddenly start to feel a sharp pain in my neck and chest and a quick sequence showing Khan's figure passes through my mind.
' Khan! '
I jump out of the bed, but the pipes are holding me back. I look at me - I am wearing the same clothes as yesterday night. A dark stain is covering my chest, but the blood doesn't seem to belong to me - the pain is there, but no trace of any wound. Then I notice a short nurse approaching me, taking quick, small steps.
' Please, sir, calm down. Would you mind getting back in your bed ? You are very badly injured and need to.. '
I grab her shoulders, looking straight into her eyes, beseechingly, and she stops talking.
' Where's he ? '
She looks perplexedly at me and swallows hard.
' ..Who.. ?.. '
I don't know why ( and damn, it seems so funny now that I think about it ), but I'm whispering instead of speaking normally.
' The tiger. '
She regains her stance from before and tries to get herself out of my grip.
' Sir, please, I think.. '
I quickly get pissed off and, against my will, I shout at her.
' Just fucking tell me where he is ! '
In spite of my expectations, she doesn't get scared, but I still don't get an answer either. Instead, she turns her head around and I realize a tall man is passing through the room, walking in our direction. I release the woman and sit on the bed behind me, then I lift my gaze to her once again, imploring her.
' Please.. I really need to see him. '
She makes a face that shows mercy and comfort and the next moment she puts an end to my life.
' ...He.. He died.. '
The words hit me like a ton of bricks and I remain speechless, staring blankly at her as a sharp pain fills my chest and my heart seems to have stopped beating. In spite of the bed underneath me, I feel like I'm about to collapse any moment. I want to open my mouth and speak again, but my throat feels dry and strained.
' I'm really sorry.. The doctors did their best to keep him alive, but his chest and head were too wounded. The truck crushed right on his side.. '
She places her hand on my shoulder.
' I'm sorry.. '
No…
The dark granite is pealing under the rough assault of the strengthened rain, and the white letters that I've chosen myself are looking back at me from its surface, with recklessness.
Shere Khan
1971 - 2022
' It is so hard to forget someone
who gave you so much to remember '
I burst into tears, falling on my knees, on the soaked grass, messing my black slacks with mud and wrapping my arms around the cold stone. Nobody's here to hear me crying. Nobody to comfort me.
A burning lightning crosses the dark sky and the thunder resonates in my whole body. The rain is becoming more and more violent, hitting against my back, but my sobs won't stop.
Heavy words I've said to him are echoing in my head and images of him filling my mind. I remember shouting at him, blaming him for my wrongs.. But he took it all and always forgave me, though I had never paid it back.
I scream in pain and agony, my voice intermingling with the storm's din, as our last words to each other remain stuck in my ears and I hear them again and again and again. He apologized for everything, even though that 'everything' was my fault, my immense vanity and egoism. He's never stopped loving me.
And what I did instead was wishing he died.
' ..I'm sorry !.. Khan, I'm so sorry !.. I didn't mean it !.. You were right; I still wanted you ! I still loved you !... Please, forgive me.. please !.. '
But nothing is going to change it back to how it was. Nothing matters now. He was all I had - not my huge apartment or my expensive cars; not my company and money -, and now I am left with nothing. My heart has gotten a blank space.. Actually.. No. It's not blank. It's full of pain, suffering and remorse - oh! I would give anything to get you back !
Suddenly, I realize the rain has stopped. The storm has disappeared and the strong wind is no longer making my clothes blow. It's sunny now and the sky is clear and of an assuasive tint of blue. The cemetery is, ironically, bursting with life, as the grass and trees are greening the place and the sweet whistle of birds is filling the air, making me finally stop crying.
Then, I feel a hand softly touching my shoulder and I turn around.
Astonishment and exhilaration fill my heart at the same time, as I widen my eyes and my open mouth turns into a wide smile.
' .. Khan ? … '
I jump on him, grasping his waist, and we collapse on the grass. I place my head on his chest and tighten him as close as I can, adamant to not let him go away from me again.
He strokes my ear and cheek fur with his paw and wraps his other arm around my back, holding me tight. Some worm tears seep down my face and I lift my gaze to him, looking straight into his amber eyes.
' Khan.. I'm sorry.. '
He presses his white finger against his mouth, letting out a soft ' Shhh ', then grips my head and our muzzles meet each other again, after so long.
' I love you so much.. '
He whispers the words, still not releasing me, while I'm dipping my fingers into his neck fur.
' I love you too. Forever! '
He smiles at me, then we get up from the ground together and step on the small path, as he's holding me by my waist.
' .. But.. how did you.. ? '
He doesn't answer me. He starts walking and I follow him, then I notice that his march is slowly turning into an undefined and irregular dance, which makes me sway along with him.
' Just come with me. '
Suddenly, the sun's light disappears and the black night takes its place. But.. No.. The cemetery isn't here either.. The trees.. The small white chapel.. All gone. It's just.. darkness that's surrounding us.
Then, Khan releases me and gets away a little.
' What.. ? Wait! '
The darkness engulfs him and I remain alone in the void.
I feel a soft tickle on my throttle, then it turns into a small, annoying pain. Something begins to straiten around my neck and I quickly reach it with my paw.
A snake!
I grab it and pull it hard, but it won't release me. I become nervous and scared, as I try to get the snake off of me once again. I eventually panic as I begin to feel the lack of air, but then I realize it's not a snake that's around my neck. It seems more like.. a halter.
A stifling pain fills my throat and my eyes become wet as the rope continues to narrow. I begin to hiccough and shake as I'm straining every muscle in my body and the last air left leaves my lungs.
The thought of Khan comes up in my mind and I suddenly realize that soon I'm going to meet him. I'm going to be with him again.
I relax and let the burning pain fill my neck and chest. A smile appears on my face when the sound of his voice echoes in my mind, then I close my eyes as any move stops, any pain goes away and I no longer feel anything but dark.
