Naval Strike

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Yoshi trudged through the slimy, fetid waters of Naval Piranha's fort, holding back nausea and vomit as the foul stench of sewage clogged his sensitive sense of smell, bile piling in his throat.

The infant, Mario, had passed out upon his back, after crying violently for hours. He was hungry, he had a terrible rash, and his diaper needed changing quite badly, but one must march onward... there was no time... he must hurry, before Kamek's minions caught up to him—

—Ah, but what was this ahead? Slowing his crawl through the filthy sludge, Yoshi spotted a shape in the shadows... a very familiar shape...

Perched upon a stone ledge jutting out about the water was the sleeping, embryonic form of a Piranha Plant. Just beyond that, in the dim moonlight that trickled through high windows, was the shadow of a doorway. The exit, no doubt. Surely this meant that Kamek wouldn't be terribly far behind—the devious bastard always did have a way of showing up at just the precise moment to cut off the Yoshis in their quest... but none of them had died yet, while most of Kamek's minions had thus far met gruesome ends.

Yoshi paused here, to reflect—Kamek would surely fly down from the rafters, swearing vengeance and victory, before magically engorging the Piranha Plant as he was wont to do with any guardian stationed near a fortress exit. He would then leave the beast to finish off Yoshi and Mario.

And he never learns, does he? Yoshi thought, excreting a large, slimy, green-speckled egg from his anus and gripping it tight. If he could just do this right... aim at the precise degree...

Hopping high into the air with a sickening splash, Yoshi grunted and hurled the egg at the Piranha Plant with all his might, the projectile making a sinister whistling, whizzing sound as it soared through the air—

—Right on target! As the egg exploded, a cloud of blood splattered the walls and sprayed into the murky water beneath the stone platform. Smears of chlorophyll and spotted red flesh dotted the platform itself with mangled leaves and pools of blood—but why did a plant have red blood in the first place?

Who cares? Yoshi thought, waving off the curiosity as he flailed his legs madly and managed to float over to the platform, landing with perhaps not quite as much grace as he would have preferred.

Now to wait for it... wait for it...

There! The muffled cackle, the rustling sound of something flying through the air as silently as it could manage, and—

—"Aha!" Kamek shrieked, swooping down toward the platform, pointing triumphantly at Yoshi. "I've caught you now, you little bastard! This time I-"

He paused, eyes widening in horror behind his spectacles as he surveyed the gory sight before him. Yoshi grinned devilishly, showing off rows of razor-sharp teeth.

"-OH MY GOD!!!" Kamek screamed, clutching his heart and nearly falling off of his broom. "I... Na...Naval Piranha! What have you done?!" he demanded, rounding on Yoshi, his eyes full of tears and hatred. "This is blasphemy! This is madness!"

Yoshi simply chuckled low in his throat, his eyes cast into shadow as he prepared another egg. Kamek gulped and drew a shaky breath, preparing to fly away.

And then Yoshi spoke, his bellow echoing off of the stone walls, ringing in Kamek's ears:

"THIS... IS.... YOSHI'S ISLAND!" As he screamed these words, the egg left his hand, streaking dangerously through the air, and—

Kamek never had a chance. The egg destroyed his head on impact, his skull exploding like a mine as shards of bone, brain matter, and gore burst through the air. His corpse dropped from the sky into the filthy water with a loud splash, bobbing briefly at the surface before sinking out of sight. Mario was awake once more, confused, hungry, wet, and crying at the noise.

But at least - at last - he would be a bit safer.

Hopefully.

~Fin~