I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
Remus Lupin laid on a bed in Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. It wasn't just any bed though, it was his bed. Sirius's bed. The order was finally using Sirius's house, Harry's house now, for headquarters again. Remus liked this bed, because it reminded him of a man he'd never see again. Every time he came here, he felt great pain but also a strange peace at the same time. Being here almost made him feel like he was with Sirius again.
These
wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's
just too much that time cannot erase
Sighing, Remus reluctantly left the bed that still lingered faintly with a scent unique to Sirius. Sometimes being here brought back too many bad memories. He wiped his face as he stepped into the dark hallway.
When
you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd
fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all
of these years
But you still have all of me
Remus knew that he should move on, but even though there wasn't any way he'd see him again in this world, he couldn't stop loving him.
You
used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by
the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant
dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
Everything in this house reminded him of Sirius. He couldn't help remembering how he had been alone, all locked up here. Now Remus almost felt that way too. He could leave if he wanted to, but he rather felt that if he left, Sirius would really be gone forever. Even when he left for missions, he always came back to this house to be alone with his past.
These
wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's
just too much that time cannot erase
It was time to leave. As much as he wanted to stay here to be tortured with reminders of a person who could never come back, he had to leave. He walked slowly down the hall toward the door.
"Remus…" He paused with his hand on the doorknob. He knew that it was just his imagination, but he still hoped that Sirius was behind him, that he had always been there. He shook his head.
I've
tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're
still with me
I've been alone all along
"Goodbye, Sirius," He whispered. It was impossible, and he knew it. He opened the door and left behind the memories he knew he could never really escape.
The End