AN: This is a kind of Miss Congeniality-esque story. It's a little difficult for me writing it but I am trying, and just so you know I have never watched Miss America but I a researching, this is my first fanfic but I'm trying hard. So encouragement will be appreciated.

Disclaimer: Twilight is obviously the property of Mrs Meyer, not me sadly.

"Were you looking at her cans? You asshole." I asked Edward loudly in my fake New York accent we were in a pretty busy bar with about ten agents dotted around. I was wearing a golden tube top for the first time since I was about twelve and jeans which looked like they were painted on, I also had chicken fillets in my bra making me look really tacky as my boobs were already kind of big. Edward was wearing tight jeans and a Yankees shirt and cap (with a camera in it) we were trying to look like we'd just been at a game. I tried to convey with my eyes that the Italian guy had noticed him trying to look into his briefcase. He understood and nodded.

"Course not babe, I was checkin' out the football scores on the tv." He said it well trying deliberately to sound like he was lying. "Don't you lie to me you prick, you think those are real? Course they aint. 100% silicone, do you like fake boobs?"

I turned around and saw Irina looking at me, she shook her head to tell me she couldn't see anything either so Edward took off his cap and put it on the table, Mark my boss whispered in my ear "Now all we can see is your chest, Swan." I blushed "Sorry sir" I breathed back into the mic in my watch.

I picked up the hat and said "Stop touching that Anthony honestly you look like an Idiot" I placed it on the corner of the booth so the camera was looking over the next booths table, "Perfect Swan, we have a visual of the book we're moving in on 3,2,1..."

Edward and I stood up as did half the bar and everyone had guns pointing at the three well dressed business men at the table next to us. Mark and two other agents burst through the door, Mark shputed "FBI nobody move" but of course one of the men got out a gun and had it aimed at Edward, before I could even pull the trigger it had gone off with a noise like a bloody bomb exploding, I brought my hand forward and knocked the still warm gun out of his hand, I was breathing heavily and I couldn't bear to think Edward might not be alright, because if I did I would break down in tears I came out booth so I could get around to Edward, a rookie mistake. One of the men jumped onto my back and kneed me hard, knocking me to the ground and making me bash my head on the table, it hurt like a son of a bitch. I screamed and rolled trying to get him off of me before he was kicked off of me, I know because I felt the doc martin grazing along my back and giving me heat burn through my tube top. I could feel my own blood trailing from my hairline and I realised I was probably concussed but I had to get to Edward because I wouldn't be able to breathe until I knew he was safe.

I dragged myself along on my stomach until I got to wear Edward was lying holding his side. He was rolling from side to side which relieved me because if it was a vital organ or vein he'd already be unconscious. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, it fucking hurts." How manly Mr Cullen. I got to where he was and took hold of his arm which was over his shot, that was weird. There was no blood.

"Christ Edward you're wearing a vest, you pussy! Man up" Irina came over and got him into a sitting position and lifted his baseball shirt over his head and I used my hands to unbuckle his vest to see if his ribs were alright. Trying to ignore his amazing six-pack and felt his ribs. "I'm dying, I'm dying. Will you fucking stop that Isabella." No one but the boss and my grandmother called me that and I pressed into his tender ribs extra hard. "Son of a bitch, STOP IT!" I smirked and that let some of my blood dribble into my mouth. "Oops sorry, You'll be bruised but you probably damaged your back more from falling."

Everyone was shouting and Annabelle and Laura came over to see if Edward was alright but Irina told them that my face was more pressing. I felt a liquid at the top of my jeans trickle down my backside and realised the dull pulsing was in fact not from the bastard kneeing me but something much more serious. "Oh shit, the cunt I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding." My eyes were frantic as I shouted in Laura's face. "We can see that gorgeous." Edward said breathlessly but cockily.

I moved my hand to my back and started to feel around for the root of the wetness. Someone shouted behind "Jesus Christ, Swan. Someone's got your back. Girls help her." My shaky hands found the deep gash in my back and the night's drama caught up with me as I felt Edwards arms wrap around me to touch my back and I lost consciousness.

AN: God sends reviewers to heaven. I know I wouldn't want to go to hell over something silly.

There will be lemons later but the plot is kind of fluffy, I realise it won't be great but no one starts out writing masterpieces so I appreciate any kind of criticism even though the negative stuff makes me cry sometimes, I'll persevere and start writing better fics eventually. Also I would really appreciate you telling me what female character you'd like to represent which state, I'll have to make a few up but it would be really useful. Thanks for reading.