I adore Havoc. I was rereading chapter 38 and, again, balling, and decided to make this oneshot. Because Havoc - wheelchair and all - needs more love. I know there's a big Havoc fandom out there, but most of what I've read was all abled Havoc. And besides, I had a blast thinking up the slightly steamy scene with Allegra admiring Havoc's battle scars ^_~ Also, I wrote this before finishing the series or knowing much about Roy's true characterization, so I apologize that he's rather OOC.

Disclaimer: I doth dis/the claiming of this

I find it all ironic, now. Of course, hindsight's 20-20, they always say.

"What's the most important quality in a woman?" The question carried into the hallway as I was passing the staffroom. I paused, wondering what they were talking about, and what that answer would be. I, having had my fill of chauvinist perverts, expected the worst.

"LOYALTY!" A voice shouted, practically knocking me off my feet. The answer, being the good one it was, stunned me. Before I had even thought about it, I'd opened the door and stepped in.

Four men were gathered around a table, apparently having been filling out some sort of 'find the perfect woman' compatibility sheet. The three looked stunned, but one (his back to me) with blond hair sat strait back in his wheel chair, fists clenched and glaring at the ceiling. "I swear, if I loose one more girlfriend to the Colonel, I'm gonna just light myself on fire and stand there! What's a guy gotta do to get a loyal - and preferably not homicidal - girlfriend?"

I giggled, causing all four of them to look to me. Even the blond turned around in his seat, to reveal a lit cigarette, scruffy facial hair, and bright blue eyes. For a guy who keeps getting his girlfriends stolen, as he said, he sure was good looking. A different good looking than a certain charming someone, but a rough good looking that could boil a woman's blood. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help but over hear. That Colonel you mentioned - that would be Mustang, right?"

The blond just stared at me, dumbfounded and looking less rough with his big eyes, so the larger man behind him answered. "Yep, that's our Roy."

"Actually, that would be my Roy." My smile grew bigger as they all continued to stare, with a new, dawning horror. "But if he's anything like you sound, he might not stay that way for long. I'm not interested in being one of many play toys."

"He usually only keeps one girlfriend at a time..." the short one said, trying to salvage the situation. They all knew that if I dumped Roy, they were gonna get it.

But I ignored them as they tried to explain Roy's flirtatious ways, giving a smile and a wave as I turned and headed back out the door. I was on my way to Roy's office and this was my first time visiting him on the job. We'd only been dating about a week and a half or so, but he'd seemed like a nice guy. Now I had new information to consider.

In the end, I'm a gullible sap and knowing Roy went through girlfriends pretty quick didn't change much. He was his usual gentlemanly and charming self as he explained his way out of any and all complaints I had. I was swept off my feet again before an hour was up. I sighed, now that I had time to think back on it. I was gonna have to watch myself around Roy.

Little did I know then that there was another guy I should have been watching myself around, too.

"Ah, you're Roy's girlfriend, from yesterday!" I turned and found myself facing that smoking (literally, not as in an adjective - though he was pretty hot...focus, girl, focus!) blond.

I gave him a smile. "My name's Allegra. But yes, that description rings true. And you are?"

"It's Jean Havoc, Miss Allegra." He scratched the back of his head and blushed slightly while he spoke. He seemed a bit timid around beautiful women - but in the 'I want to impress you' way. His grin was still appealing.

"That's a good, strong name." I replied coolly. "Too bad you'll probably die of lung cancer within the next ten years."

As he stuttered a "w-what?" out, I turned and continued into Central.

After that, I got to see a lot more of Jean Havoc. When Roy was too busy to see me, he entertained. Showing me around, introducing me to people, buying me lunch, etc. More often than not, I got mistaken for Jean's girlfriend instead.

I was a soldier, too. I understood that Roy was a busy man. But he'd told me to come by and see him during work hours - he said he wanted an excuse to take a break every now and again. Apparently, though, things didn't work out that way and, more often than not, I was turned away at the door. Oh, Roy always made it up to me later. Dinner, dancing, moonlit walks (though no beach - the park instead), and flowers and presents. Everytime I was turned away at the door with barely a glance, I felt hurt. But everytime Roy smiled at me when we met later, I was swept away again. And I was angry with myself for my ups and downs.

The only one I could talk to about my Roy problems was Jean.

"He got me roses and a teddy bear last night."

Jean set down his glass and swallowed the gulp he'd taken. "Good thinking. You love teddy bears."

I nodded, pushing my salad around with my fork. "Yes, but I don't really think he knew that. It was just a standard apology gift. Not that the note wasn't heartfelt and original...but..." I sighed, and Jean nodded.

"You just don't think he's actually thinking about your pain. That he's just going on 'upset girlfriend' autopilot, right?"

"Right." I went to take a swig of my tea and found it empty, but Jean pushed his over to me before I could say anything. I smiled at him. "Thanks."

"No problem."

Tea always helps calm me down. Jean was real sweet to notice that. "You know, sometimes I feel like I'm dating you rather than Roy."

Havoc choked, naturally, on his sandwich at my words. Yeah, teasing Jean was one of the best ways to cheer me up. Not that what I'd said wasn't true...

I sighed and passed back Havoc's drink as he tried to form coherent words. He then gave up words to stare at the glass in shock, like he'd never even thought about me giving it back. Translation: indirect kiss. I had to smirk. Jean was just so...cute? Endearing?

Not sexy and tempting, like Roy. Not that Jean couldn't be just that, when he put his mind to it. He seemed like a puppy that had been put through a hard phase - he had those moments where his boyish good looks shone through like the lights in Vegas, and then there were time when he looked like he was some hardened veteran of life's challenges. I wondered if it had to do with the story behind his wheelchair.

He was paralyzed from the waist down, and I knew it had to have been fairly recent, because he still had trouble with things every once in a while. Little mistakes with the limits of his body and his chair. I think it bothered him more than he let on.

"Allegra?" I snapped back at Jean's voice, having trailed off into la-la land. "I ordered you a refill."

I smiled graciously. "Thank you again, Jean."

"No problem - again." His replying grin was childishly pleased. I wanted to giggle and sigh at the same time.

It was inevitable. Despite the title of this oneshot having Jean Havoc's name emblazoned in it, it should have been obvious anyway. I mean, a girl with this many insecurities about her man, and having a caring, good looking, kind hearted, sexy guy friend there to comfort her? No duh I was gonna fall hard and fast for him.

But the heroine never realizes such things until it's too late. And I was far too far gone when it hit me like a runaway freight train speeding down hill faster than Nascar goes in circles.

One thing I did realize immediately, however: I needed to break up with Roy.

"Oh. Well, of course he's not in. Roy's never in." I sighed, thanking the receptionist. Of course I ran into Jean on the way out.

"Here to see Roy?"

"Was." I shook my head.

"You want me to pass on a message?"

"Nah. I needed to chat with him about a very sensitive topic." I added vaguely.

Jean stopped for a moment, seemingly big eyed and startled, but continued hurridly after me.

"He's probably out with that pretty blond again." I mused.

I got no reply. Weird. Jean usually defended Roy. But, oddly, he seemed a bit subdued the rest of the afternoon.

Little did I know that my above 'vague' comment, all in good fun and half seriousness, would come back to bite me in the butt. Sigh. Don't they always?

Two nights later, I came home to my apartment to find a fidgety Roy and a present-like bag. He stood up to greet me a tad awkwardly. "Allegra! Er, welcome home. I'm sorry I've been out a few days. Ah, how are you?"

I narrowed my eyes at his behavior, but hung my coat up as usual. "Fine. What's with the bag?"

"I, er, got you a few things I thought you might...be needing." He laughed. It sounded hollow and scared. What was going on here?

I opened the bag up, peered inside, and then shut it with a snap. "Roy."

"Y-yes?"

"What is the meaning of this?"

"Well..." he rubbed his head. "Um...just...honestly, I've been drunk a few times we've gone out and don't remember some key events, but I'm just saying that..." he sighed and, surprising me, got a serious look about his face. "I'm more than willing to take responsibility, Allegra."

I wondered how my face looked, at that moment, when I felt like I had no expression on at all. Maybe shock. "Roy, what are you talking about?"

His seriousness slipped a tad, but he kept it up. "I was under the impression...that you were..."

I pointed down at the bag before me, which contained a small assortment of baby clothes and a bottle with formula. "Pregnant?"

"Yes."

"Roy, we've never slept together."

"We haven't?"

"No."

"So I didn't get drunk and...?"

"No."

"So you're not pregnant?"

"No."

His relief was quickly replaced by annoyance. "Well, darn it! I'm gonna kill Havoc!"

"Please don't." I replied reflexively, before pursuing more pressing matters. "Why would you want to kill Jean?"

"He's the one who said you were...you know!" Roy's inability to say the word 'pregnant' made me think he had some issues, but I pushed it aside. His future wife could deal with that.

"I don't know why Jean would think that." I was a bit miffed. Did Jean think me that kind of girl, to bed without protection so easily? To sleep with drunk guys who don't remember anything in the morning?

"He said you came by to talk to me," Roy continued. "Something about a very-"

"A very sensitive subject." I finished, rolling my eyes. So that was why Jean had been acting so weird. "And he took that to mean I was pregnant? What kind of a reputation do you have, Roy Mustang?"

Roy recoiled sheepishly, trying to turn on his boyish charm. I was not going to let it sway me tonight. Instead, I called forth my new weapon. I pictured Jean's smiling face clearly in the forefront of my mind.

"The 'sensitive subject' I wanted to talk about, Roy," I faced him with stone stoicism. "Is that, I'm sorry to say, I would like for us to go our separate ways."

Roy's smile slipped. "What? You wanna...break up?"

"Yes." I sighed. "I am sorry, Roy. But I can't do this anymore."

He nodded slowly. "Like I haven't heard that one before. Seriously. I get dumped a lot because my job-"

"I know. We talked about that in the beginning, and I thought I could handle it. The hours, the days, with you gone." I gave him a small smile. "If things had been different, I might could have. You're a wonderful man. But...I can't be unfair to my heart, Roy. Not even for you."

"Um..." Roy tilted his head, evaluating me. "You...have someone else?"

I sighed again. "Not officially. My onesided crush." I laughed. "But it's how I feel, Roy, so I need to let you go."

"Even if he turns you down?"

"I won't come crawling back, no."

"I never expected you to."

"Allegra? What're you doing here?"

I smiled to Jean as he wheeled towards me, a confused look on his face. "What? I can't come visit a friend? We are still friends, aren't we?"

"Well, yeah! Of course!" He stopped next to me, rubbing his head again. "Sorry, didn't mean it like that. It's just...I didn't expect to see you around here after..."

"Roy told you?"

"That you dumped him for another guy? Yeah." Havoc's grin was a little forced. "Not on purpose, though, but we squeezed it out of him."

I gave a small chuckle. "I once heard you say the trait you valued most in a woman was loyalty."

"Well, yeah - that and big boobs." He seemed to realize he was talking to a woman and looked appropriately ashamed for letting that slip.

A plus in my favor, it seemed, but I ignored it. "You must think me horrible."

"No way!" Jean shook his hands in protest, then had to grab his wheels because he'd started to roll, having forgot to lock the chair in place. "It...happens."

"I really liked Roy. I did." I wasn't smiling anymore. "But then...love kinda snuck up and bit me, you know? I wasn't expecting it, but..."

"Wow." Was all Jean could say. He didn't look too thrilled, but he was trying to smile. "So, you going after this guy now?"

"Yep." I tried to perk up, and I'm pretty sure I pulled it off at least halfway. Jean and mine's expressions were similar like that. I wondered if that hidden expression was for me? "I'm just hoping that he understands my emotionally two-timing Roy was a one time only, special happening, and that I really am a loyal woman. I love him so much. Not like I've ever loved anyone else."

"Sounds like...a great guy. I mean, to have gotten you so bad for him." Jean's face seemed to definitely be having a hard time keeping up that smile.

"He is." Was my reply. "Well, at least I've got an 'ample bosom' in my favor. He likes that in a woman, I hear."

"Well, then we've got that in common." Jean winked at me, not getting it. I wondered how he couldn't the way I was staring at him. I could hardly look away. He just seemed...in so much pain.

I glanced up at a bookstore down the street. "I wonder if they sell an Idiot's Guide to Confessing to the Thick?"

"What?" Jean asked, not catching what I'd said.

I sighed. Here goes nothing. "Jean?"

"Yeah?"

I struggled with words, roaring thoughts, and an unusual case of school girl butterflies in my stomach as I sat there, on the fountain ledge, staring at Jean. Finally, I blurted out: "Did you really think I was pregnant?"

"Er!" He almost dropped his cigarette, but managed not to. "Well...you were being vague and serious and..."

You rolled your eyes, still trying to shoot all the butterflies down. It seemed like I'd made a poor choice in weaponry, however, as the shotgun fire was blowing more holes in my stomach than butterflies were dying. "Well, I guess that says something about your opinion of me."

"That's not true!" Jean said incredulously. "That says something about my opinion of Roy!"

He was grinning, and I couldn't help but grin back. "Hey, that still reflects badly on me, you know - I dated the guy."

"Along with almost every woman in Central."

"You're not talking about me, are you?" Roy sauntered over, a grin on his face.

"Oh, of course not, Roy." I replied smoothly, wishing the man would vanish, despite the relief of having him around. The upside to Roy being there: the butterflies were going away because I wasn't so nervous. Couldn't confess in front of Roy, could I? The downside: I couldn't confess in front of Roy, could I?

"Have you confessed to Mister Right yet?" Roy asked, still grinning and taking a stand beside me.

"Not yet." I sighed, feeling slightly miserable.

"She picked a good one, you know." Roy said to Havoc, snapping me out of my misery. "I approve of him."

Havoc raised his brows. "Really? Even though she dumped you for this guy?"

Roy's smile was soft and genuine. "They deserve eachother. If there was ever a man perfect for a good woman like Allegra, it's this guy. And he's earned an angel like her, that's for sure."

I had been staring at Roy the whole time, practically gawking. Did he know!?

Turning to me, Roy nodded, almost like he could read my mind. "Should have saw it coming, really." He winked. "Didn't even realize it until a few minutes ago, walking up here. And then it just hit me how perfect it was. And how I probably deserved getting dumped for you two to work things out. Karma."

"For stealing so many of his girlfriends?" I blurted out before I could help myself.

Roy laughed. "Yeah, that'll be why."

"Sounds like me and this guy have a lot in common." Jean grumbled.

Roy and I both stared at him blankly. He didn't notice. "So, who is this guy? Roy knows. Can't you tell me?"

Roy smirked. "Yeah, Allegra. Why don't you tell Havoc who he is?"

"I'm in love with an idiot and I dated and even bigger one. Boy, do I have taste in men." I growled under my breath, rolling my eyes.

"Fine then." Roy raised his hands in mock surrender and started to back away. "I'll just leave this to you. But he's gonna find out eventually. Might as well get it over with."

And then Roy was marching off.

"...am I to take that as...I'm not gonna like this guy?" Havoc asked wearily. "I figured, if the Colonel liked him so much, that I would, too. But he made it sound like..."

"No, you'll like him." I sighed again. I needed to stop doing that. And rolling my eyes. They might stick, just like my parents warned me. "It just might...be a bit of a shock to you, that's all."

"I know him?"

"Very well." On an impulse, I decided to lie. "Roy thinks you're in love with me."

Jean did drop his cigarette this time. Good riddens to it. "What? I am not a woman stealer! He can bite me!"

Jean was beat red, but angered. I continued despite. "So you're not...jealous or upset? That I found someone to love?"

"You deserve to be happy."

I chuckled. "That sounds like something a man secretly in love would say."

"Well, what do you want me to say?" Havoc snapped, looking up at me with those hurt blue eyes. "Because I'll say whatever you want. Even if it's a lie. You should be happy. Roy was right - you do deserve that."

I was too shocked to answer for a moment, and caught some words he was grumbling under his breath as he turned away from me. "...dated Roy...fell in love with some guy...no one wants the cripple...I'm an idiot...horrible luck with women...covered in burn marks, thanks Roy..."

"Maybe if you didn't hang out with Roy so much, you're girls wouldn't get stolen."

"Yeah, the last time I tried that, I ended up like this." He swatted his leg in annoyance.

Jean had never mentioned what had happened to his legs before. It was a woman's fault? "Is that what you meant? The time when we first met, when you said 'What's a guy gotta do to get a loyal - and preferably not homicidal - girlfriend?'"

"Yeah." He replied after a moment. "Girl was trying to milk me for information. Didn't get any, and almost killed both me and Roy. ...Roy saved my life. "

"I promise I'm not homicidal." I said hopefully.

"You're not my girlfriend."

Now was the moment to say something!

"Jean-"

And, wouldn't you know it, I was hated. Because at that moment, something exploded somewhere in town. And, of course, Jean had to get inside Central to help.

A week later, Roy's official nickname for me was 'The Sissy.' He would address me as nothing else. You can probably guess why.

I still hadn't confessed. Saw Jean everyday - still hadn't said it.

And it didn't help that Jean was denser than lead. Let's review the facts: I'm in love with a guy that most of Roy's unit knows well, who likes big boobs, had his girlfriends stolen from Roy often in the past, and I've only gotten to know well since I started dating Roy. Now, let's compare him to Jean Havoc: he's in Roy's unit, likes big boobs, had his girlfriends stolen from Roy often in the past, and I've only gotten to know well since I started dating Roy.

Why was it that two plus two required a calculator for Jean to figure out?

I mean, it had been a week since I broke up with Roy, and I still came to Central everyday, and made it no secret that I was there for Jean, not Roy.

Yet, hanging out at my place after dinner that night, Jean had still brought up the subject of my 'progress' with 'Mr. Right.' And, being the coward I am, I managed to avoid the conversation in its entirety.

But gosh darn it, I was gonna show some backbone tonight, so help me! Or at least, that's what I told myself after Jean accidentally spilled his tea on his shirt. The perfect chance, no?

"Oh no! Jean, take that off and I'll throw it in the washer real quick so it won't stain." Honestly, I didn't have a clue if tea left stains. But the spot was dark enough he nodded and pulled the shirt up over his head. I silently thanked the heavens he'd worn his white shirt today. His usual black would have ruined this.

"Thanks. Here." He handed me the shirt without a second thought, and I had to snap myself out of it and make my arm take it. Then I went as quickly as possible to do with his shirt as I said I would. The image of Jean's chiseled chest and smooth abs never once faded from my mind. But as I was heading back to the living room, something had started to bother me about the image I was treasuring.

"Are those...the burns you mentioned? Something about Roy?" I asked, sitting on the couch beside his wheelchair.

He shrugged, looking a tad red. "Yeah. When she - my ex - stabbed me, Roy had to burn my wounds to stop the bleeding."

"My gosh." I said quietly, staring at the disfigured patch of skin just above his pant line on his right side, that spread up to right below his pecks in the center of his abdomen. I knew that whatever she had stabbed him with must have been long, because of his paralysis. She'd obviously went almost all the way through him, and hit his spine. I knew my face was contorting into a cringe, and it was all I could do not to cry out. Some psychotic wretch had done this to him? I wanted to kill her. No, I wanted to do worse than kill her. "What happened to her?" I tried to keep my voice strait.

"Dead." Havoc replied coolly, trying not to watch me as I stared. "Roy got her while I was down."

"Then I'm proud to have dated him." My voice was a tad louder then I had intended, and Havoc finally looked at me. I met his eyes. "Can I touch?"

He nodded slowly. "Don't know why you'd want to, though."

I tried to laugh. "Battle scars are manly, don't you know? Sexy."

"Then why do you look like you want to throw up?"

The tips of my fingers brushed his skin, and then balled into fists. "I would have liked to have seen it." I snapped viciously, looking up at him again. He seemed shocked, but I continued. "Roy kill her. I hope she suffered. And I hope she rots in Hell for what she did to you."

I knew I was starting to cry, so I took a moment to look down. I uncurled my fist and placed my fingers against his scar, slowly sliding them up and to the left until my palm pressed against his skin. My thumb rubbed the surface, gently, and I felt him shiver under my touch.

I smiled at him. "Very sexy."

"Er, thanks?" he replied, unsure, as his face grew redder despite trying to smile and play it off.

Suddenly, I was tired. Tired of being a coward. Tired of waiting on him. Tired of just watching him and wanting him and hurting.

I leaned forward over the arm of the couch, and, deliberately, I locked eyes with Jean mere inches from his face. Then I moved closer. Slowly, lightly, I brushed my lips against his. After a moment with no response, I did it again. This time, as my lips slid off his, his chin moved forward a bit, as if to follow me. The third time, his mouth molded to mine in a true, soft kiss.

And one light kiss piled upon another. His hand found its way to my face and held it, his thumb caressing my cheek like mine had his stomach. The kisses weren't so light anymore. While my left hand had slipped from his stomach and now was pressed against his chair to hold me up, my free right hand made its way to his face like his had mine. And his free left hand found my right side, stretched out on the couch arm.

And he shocked me when those hands started to gently push me away, and his mouth pulled back, and out of reach of mine.

"Jean?"

"Please tell me it's me." he said, a little roughly and breathless, his eyes boring into mine. "Please tell me it's me you love, or else..."

His eyes closed like it pained him to say that, but I knew what was wrong now. He needed to make sure that this wasn't just a spur of the moment thing - that I wasn't in love with some other guy, but with him, like I had been all along. At least he was giving me the benefit of the doubt by assuming, correctly, from my assault on his lips, that he was, indeed, the one I loved. Took him long enough.

I smiled sweetly at him and how respectable he was being. He wanted to make sure, in case he was wrong and this was a mistake, that I had a chance to back off. Even though I didn't need that chance - but I was glad to finally say these few next lines. "I love you, Jean Havoc. I fell in love with you while dating Roy Mustang, and I dumped him to be with you."

"Really?"

"Really." It came out a bit like a giggle, and Jean's face broadened into a relieved smile.

"You love me, too, right?" I asked, running my hand along his jawline to keep from being too overly serious with a question that meant a lot to me.

"Yeah." He said, pulling me back to him again. "I love you, too."

Between kisses I slipped some words in, just for the fun of it. "Oh, about before..."

"Hm?" He wasn't willing to take his lips off mine long enough to form words.

"I lied."

He gave a little more berth to speak before diving back in for another kiss. "About what?"

I smiled against his mouth. "Roy never said you loved me."

"Well, shoot." Havoc groaned playfully through his grin. "I've been had."