This is Momo from dontchasesheep! This is based on the book PS I Love You (and also based on the movie in some parts) but it is not necessary to read the book in order to understand this story. Many thanks to jlbassmaster for being my beta! Please enjoy and review!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters except for Kyle O'maley, Chris Davids and Liam Morgan. The plot was inspired by/based on Cecilia Ahern's book. I am not affiliated with Glee or HarperPublishing or Fox. I am not being paid for writing this.
Sam and Rory walked silently through the park, hand in hand, enjoying each other's company. The mid afternoon sun was shining through the puffy white clouds and the birds were singing cheerfully in the trees. As they crossed the bridge, Rory pulled Sam to a stop to watch a line of ducks swim by. Rory watched them swimming around and leaving uniform ripples in the water. The sunlight reflected off the water into Rory's eyes, making them sparkle in what seemed to be pure happiness. Sam grinned at the sight of his boyfriend, so content and relaxed.
"You are beautiful," Sam murmured, stroking the side of Rory's face. Rory blushed, ducking his head down, tearing his gaze away from the ducks.
"Sam…" Rory said as Sam pulled him closer, bringing his arms around his waist. Their lips met in a small kiss.
"You're beautiful." Rory told Sam. Sam scoffed.
"No, you're beautiful." Sam insisted, brushing Rory's comment off while he planted a row of kisses on Rory's check.
"Sam! Stop it!" Rory exclaimed, pushing Sam away lightly, laughing. Sam smiled deviously.
"I'm going to get you!" he teased playfully, grabbing for Rory's arm. Smiling, Rory snatched his arm out of Sam's grasp and ran off the bridge before allowing Sam to tackle him to the soft grass. With a thump, they landed on the ground, their fall pillowed by the soft blades of grass and yellow dandelions dotting the ground.
"Sam, that hurt!" Rory whined in pseudo pain.
"Really?" Sam's eyes widened as he rolled off of Rory. "Shoot, I'm so sorry! I really didn't mean to! Oh god-" Sam broke off when he saw Rory smiling.
"I'm kidding!" Rory exclaimed, "I'm fine!" Sam puffed his cheeks out in relief.
"Thank god. I was scared I hurt you for a while!"
"You aren't that much stronger than I am, Sam." Rory said. Sam just smirked and wrapped his arm around Rory protectively. Rory mumbled in protest but cuddled up against Sam.
"I can't believe I fell in love with such a dork." Rory teased.
"I can't believe I fell in love with a leprechaun." Sam shot back. Rory punched Sam lightly in the arm.
"Well, I suppose that however crazy falling in love with a leprechaun is, you're my leprechaun."
Rory simply smiled.
Admittedly, they did not have a nice apartment. It was very small - a cramped kitchen, a tiny bedroom, a living room and the bathroom. The window opened up into a view of the back alley and the door opened to many sets of steep stairs. The old couch creaked slightly, and the room was stuffy and slightly dusty. However, Sam and Rory made do with what they had, and for the most part they coped with the tiny apartment.
That night, Sam and Rory had settled on the couch with their dinner, relaxing after a long day, and all was peaceful when Sam hesitantly brought up the topic.
"Rory, I was thinking about getting another job, and I found a place looking for new workers…"
"Great! You've never liked your job." Rory smiled.
"As strippers." Sam finished his sentence, anticipating a negative reaction. Sure enough, Rory immediately attacked the idea.
"Sam!" Rory stood up from the couch abruptly, "How could you ever even consider that?"
"How could I consider it? Because we're running out of money, Rory! That's why!" Sam stood up as well.
"This can't be the only option, Sam!" Rory insisted.
"But it is!" Sam's voice grew louder.
"It can't be! You can't go back to that, Sam! You're so much better than that!"
"Rory! Look at this place!" Sam gestured wildly at the small apartment, "It's a dump! Can you really say you are happy living here?"
"Well- no, but I know we will pull through soon, and we will rent a new apartment."
"Damn it, Rory!" Sam cursed, taking Rory aback, "Can you please think like an adult for once? Just grow up and think realistically! Who are you kidding? Unless I take a good job soon, we're going to be kicked out of this lousy excuse for an apartment. Not only that, we won't have enough money to do anything we want to do! You do realize we were thinking of starting a family, right? And you do realize that in order to do that, we need a steady income and a nice apartment. You're not getting good money from your art."
"Hey! It wasn't me who got fired on the second week of his job!" Rory spat.
"He was provoking me! Was I supposed to let him call me a 'dirty faggot'?" Sam yelled, throwing his hands up in the air.
"Yes! You didn't need to go and beat him up! Were you even thinking of what kind of consequences that would bring? Take the high road, be mature about it."
"Be mature? I am the mature one! You're the immature one! You're the one that has to be looked after because you can't think for yourself! You never take care of yourself, you just go around doodling and singing and smiling and painting! Why can't I be the happy leprechaun for once, huh? Why can't I do the little finger paintings too?"
"It's art," Rory said between clenched teeth, "and people appreciate it! At least I'm doing something I like for a career, instead of settling for a lousy job-"
"I'm settling? You think I'm settling for this job?" Sam cut in.
"Yes!" Rory barreled on, "And to make it worse, you come home every single evening to complain about how lousy your job is and how much you hate it. You are the immature, whiny baby!" Rory roared. He and Sam glared at each other for a long moment, fire burning in their eyes. It was Rory who broke the gaze and started for the door.
"Are you leaving?" Sam called, still furious.
"Yes. I'll be at Sebastian's." Rory said shortly, slamming the door behind him. The loud bang resounded around the apartment, leaving a heavy and stifling silence hanging in the air. Sam's hands dropped to his sides, already regretting everything he had said.
Slowly, Sam made his way across the room to the door, the sounds of the floor squeaking under his feet the only sound breaking the unbearable silence. Sam's hand was just about to turn the door knob when he heard a light knock on the wood. Sam opened the door, his green eyes meeting Rory's blue eyes. The two stared at each other for a moment before Rory spoke.
"Is that all we have to say?" Rory asked quietly, all traces of anger gone from his voice.
"Yes." Sam breathed, immediately wrapping his arms tightly around Rory, kissing him desperately.
"Rory," Sam said when they pulled apart, "I take it all back, alright?"
"I do too, Sam," Rory responded, panting slightly, "I'm so sorry."
Sam picked Rory up and swung him around slightly, kissing him feverishly. "Rory, you have to understand, I'm just worried about us."
Rory buried his head in the crook of Sam's neck in answer.
"I know you are, Sam. But I promise, we'll work it out." Rory looked up at Sam. "Please, just reconsider the whole stripper thing again, please Sam?"
"Fine," Sam promised, planting a small kiss on Rory's forehead, "Anything for you."
A couple months later, the morning light was shining through the window and the cars were honking when Sam woke up. Bleary eyed, he carefully untangled his legs from Rory's and looked around the room.
Nine-thirty. Time for breakfast. Sam rolled out of bed, knowing that Rory would follow soon. After taking a shower, he buttered some toast and settled down with the newspaper. It was quarter to eleven when Sam finally looked up again and Rory was still in bed.
That's strange. Rory should be up by now. Sam walked over to the bedroom and saw Rory still sleeping on the bed. The bed creaked as Sam sat down next to Rory's sleeping figure.
"Rory," Sam shook his shoulder gently, "Ror. Wake up."
"I don't want to wake up." Rory mumbled, turning away from Sam. Sam sighed.
"Look, Rory. It's eleven o'clock, you should be up by now." Sam said.
"I don't want to." Rory repeated, covering his head with the blanket.
"Rory." Sam was starting to be a little exasperated. "It's eleven o'clock."
"Go away, Sam!" Rory snapped, curling up into a ball under the covers.
"Rory, are you feeling sick?" Sam started to worry.
"No." The answer came quickly.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure Sam!"
"Rory-" Sam said.
"I'm fine Sam!" Rory yelled, finally sitting up. With a quick motion, his hand came up from under the covers and slapped Sam in the cheek. Sam's hand snapped up to his face in shock and pain. He looked over at Rory to see that Rory looked just as shocked and dismayed.
"Oh god." Rory gasped out. "I am so sorry, Sam. Are you alright? I'm so sorry, I don't even know what I was thinking!"
Sam nodded stiffly. "Let's just get you out of bed, huh?" He said shortly, pushing himself off the bed. Rory nodded and threw the covers aside. Sam started out of the room when he heard a thump. He turned to see Rory on the floor, looking even more distressed.
"What is it, Rory?" Sam said wearily.
"My legs... god, Sam, I can barely stand up. It's like I have no muscles in them..." Sam ran back over to Rory and helped him up again. Sure enough, Rory's knees gave way under him almost the second he was standing again.
"I think I should call the doctor." Sam muttered. Rory shook his head.
"It's probably nothing, Sam. Just... I don't know, weakness from being in bed too long?" Rory suggested. Both of them knew that was probably unlikely. "Anyways, I probably just need food or something." Rory made to get up again, but he fell back onto the bed.
"Here, Rory." Sam lifted Rory into his arms carried him out of the room and set him on a kitchen chair. "I'll make you some breakfast."
By the time Rory had finished eating, his legs were back to working condition and Sam and Rory let the incident slide.
"Rory," Sam sat down next to his boyfriend, "I think you should book an appointment with your doctor. These headaches and stuff... well, I'm starting to think that they're more serious then they seem." Rory just nodded tiredly.
"I know. I've already booked the appointment." Rory admitted.
"So, what kind of symptoms are you experiencing?" the doctor asked. Rory fidgeted slightly.
"Huge headaches, weakness –especially in the morning, I can barely walk. Balancing issues sometimes."
Sam nodded. "Mood swings," he added, "he's a little irritable sometimes, less optimistic. He tires easily, too."
"Well," the doctor said, writing a few things down, "I'm going to run you through a couple tests, MRI maybe… sounds like a brain problem. Fortunately, you are young, extremely healthy and your family history is clean. We should be able to help you get better soon. Try not to worry."
"We got the test results back, Rory. Would you like to hear this news alone?" The doctor asked, gesturing at Sam.
"Can Sam stay?" Rory gripped Sam's hand tightly, sensing bad news coming. The doctor nodded.
"Of course." The doctor leaned forward in his chair, looking serious, "I'm afraid it's a brain tumor. A rather serious one." The doctor said gravely to the young couple. Rory nodded numbly. Sam bit his lip.
"What does that mean?" he asked worriedly.
"Well, it will require surgery and perhaps some radiation therapy. However, Rory is quite young, survival rate is quite high for your age and health bracket." The doctor said. Rory nodded again. It was so much information. Rory had done his research, and he knew that brain tumors were sometimes fatal. He looked over at Sam and gripped his hand even tighter. Sam squeezed back, reassuringly.
"You're strong, Rory. You've got this."
Rory held the phone to his ear, patiently waiting for someone to pick up.
"Hello?" Rory finally heard an answer.
"Hi, Finn. It's Rory."
"Hey, Rory!" Finn exclaimed. "How are you doing?"
"Fine, thanks." Rory said. He could tell Finn knew he wasn't telling the whole truth from the way Finn paused before speaking.
"That's good to hear. Nervous?"
"For chemo? Of course, I am, but not too nervous." Rory said.
"Awesome." Finn said. "How's Sam doing about it?"
"He's doing alright, I think. Really tired, though. I keep telling him he should stop worrying about me, but he does anyway." Rory said. Finn chuckled.
"That's Sam."
There was a comfortable silence.
"Say... you've heard Blaine and Kurt's news, right?"
"Yes! I can't believe their going to be dads!" Rory said happily.
"Man, this is going to be so awesome! I can't wait!" Finn said.
"Yeah, me neither. Kurt said that the baby is due in May. I hope I'm still alive to see it." Rory said with an awkward twinge of humor and hope and despair.
"Rory, don't talk like that. Of course you'll still be alive to see it. And you'll watch him or her grow up, too. I know it." Finn encouraged.
"Thanks, Finn."
"Yeah. Hey-" Finn's voice broke off and Rory heard Rachel's muffled voice. "Sorry dude, but I forgot about a concert we're going to..." he trailed off.
"That's alright, Finn. I'll talk to you again soon."
"Cool. Good luck on the chemo." Finn said.
"Thanks. 'Bye."
"See you."
It was a surprisingly warm day, March the second. That last normal, 'life-before-the-tumour' day. Rory was feeling good. No headache, no memory lapses. Looking at Rory, Sam almost thought that everything was back to normal. Rory was his regular, cheerful self.
Sam helped Rory onto the porch swing, wrapping a blanket around him. Sam lay down next to Rory and they swung back and forth all day, talking. Just like the old times except that Rory was a lot skinnier and more tired.
"Remember Glee Club, Rory?" Sam asked.
"Of course I do," Rory smiled, "How could I forget it? Remember Nationals? That was brilliant fun."
"Remember winning Nationals?" Sam added. "That was brilliant fun."
"Remember talking to Vocal Adrenaline after we won Nationals?"
"Remember kissing after Nationals?"
"Remember our first date?"
"Remember when I first told you I love you?"
"Yes, of course, Sammy." Rory smiled at the memory, pressing his head up against Sam's chest. They fell silent for a while, watching the cars and taxis honk at each other on the street below.
"My love for you is even stronger now, Ror." Sam whispered. Rory simply shook his head.
"That's a stupid idea, Sam. It'll just hurt you in the end. Even if I do beat this." Rory said lightly.
"I don't care about being hurt. Loving you is worth it."
"Mr. Evans?"
Sam jumped.
"Sir, I'm afraid Rory's condition is worsening. He- he may not make it"
Sam swallowed.
"May I go see him?"
Sam was holding Rory's hand when he died.
"I'm sorry to hear of Mr. Flanagan's death, sir." The nurse said. Sam nodded distantly.
"Me too." He said faintly.
"Well, Mr. Evans, he left his for you." Sam snapped his head up to see the nurse was carrying a small envelope.
Carefully opening the envelope, he read the note inside.
There is a blue box in the back of Quinn's closet. There is something in there for everyone in the Glee Club, mum, dad, Seamus, Kyle O'maley, Chris Davids and Liam Morgan. Please make sure everyone gets everything.
Love you all, Rory
The funeral was almost unbearable. Everyone said the same, meaningless expressions of sympathy. Empty words. The only comforting element in the entire ceremony was the presence of the Glee Club. All of the former members had immediately cleared time in their schedules when the news of Rory's death reached them.
The memorial service was less painful. Kyle gave a short yet sweet speech and even managed to make Sam chuckle at stories of his adventures with Rory as children. Seamus spoke next. He started crying the minute he started speaking, and by the time he was finished, everyone in the room was teary eyed. A few more Irish people Sam didn't know spoke before Finn went last to say a few words during the ceremony on behalf of the Glee Club. Finn had a small piece of paper with his speech scribbled on it in his hand, but he didn't look down at it as he began to speak.
"When Rory walked into our lives, most of us were in our senior year of high school, and I'm pretty sure we were falling apart. We didn't know where we were going after we graduated, we didn't know what our future would bring. Then Rory came along and he brought us a sense of… I don't know... security, maybe? Comfort? Anyways, almost all of us immediately began to trust him like any other Glee Club member, and he became our group counselor. Rory wouldn't judge you when you went to him for advice - or at least, if he did, we could never tell!" Finn added in afterthought.
"I remember I talked to him about my engagement to Rachel, my plans for school, everything. Even though he had no idea how things worked in America, he managed to give me good advice." Finn shook his head, looking at the Glee Club assembled in the front row. "I think Rory was the only one patient enough to listen to all of us rant." The former New Directions chuckled.
"And after we graduated he kept track of every single one of us. Rory called us at least once a month to catch up on our lives, and to tell us about everyone elses' lives. Rory brought and kept us together, and I am so thankful for the continuous advice, consoling and affection he gave everyone he loved. Thank you, Rory." Finn stepped away from the podium, pausing to pat Rory's casket gently when they passed. "I miss you, buddy."
The next day, all of the former New Directions were gathered in Sam and Rory's apartment, along with Rory's family and close friends. Quinn sat with a big cardboard box sitting on the coffee table. Sam fidgeted in his seat, staring at the box. It was The Box. The one Rory had left for them to open after his death. It was sealed shut with packing tape, and a small envelope addressed "Please Read This Out Loud" was glued on the front. Sam peeled the envelope off and handed it to Quinn to open, his own hands shaking in anticipation. The room was silent as Quinn opened the letter and read its contents.
Hey, everyone!
This box is all for you guys. Letters, items, memories, all of it. I organized this a couple months ago, Quinn kind of helped me out. She has no idea what I put in the box, but she brought all the things I needed, so thank you, Quinn. I also left a bag in there for each of you. Plus, you all get one big letter! Read it carefully, I mean every word I wrote in every letter.
I hope you are all doing well! Assuming you'll all be heartbroken about my death, promise me that you'll help each other out, okay? Especially my family… and Sam. Sam's probably going to be a wreck for a while, so be patient, alright?
Quinn smiled at Sam as she read that, and Sam gave her a weak, watery smile back.
You all made my life extraordinarily special, I'm so honoured to have met such loving, genuine people.
Always, Rory
February 17
Quinn carefully folded the letter back into the envelope. For a moment, everyone was silent as they considered the box. Finally, Finn produced a blade, cutting through the clear tape that was wound deliberately around the cardboard. Stepping back, Finn allowed Seamus to open the box. Everyone in the room held their breath. Gingerly, Rory's brother lifted the lid away, revealing a neat stack of envelopes and an assortment of colored bags and boxes. Awkwardly, Seamus lifted the stack of envelopes out and read Rory's neat writing off the top one.
"To my NYC star, Rachel." Seamus handed Rachel the thick envelope. Rachel smiled sadly, kissing the envelope. Quickly, the rest of the envelopes were handed out. Rory's printing graced the front of each envelope in neat sharpie marker.
"To Puck (still a bad ass)" Puck read off of his own envelope.
"Darling Quinn", "Sebastian the Beast", "Santana- you're still skinny like all the crops died on your family's farm" (Finn and Santana had a kick out of that one).
Some envelopes were thicker than others- Santana, Brittany, Sebastian and Kurt's were rather long letters – and the longest letters were addressed to his family and friends from Ireland. There were also shorter letters addressed to other people- "Annabeth, the wonderful lady who lives above our apartment", "Jake, the boy who lives across the street" among others.
After everyone had read their envelopes and exchanged little stories about Rory and high school, Seamus distributed the boxes. Large white bags labeled with Finn, Mike, Blaine, Sebastian, Quinn and Seamus' names, a pink bag for Brittany, and Disney princess themed bags for Sebastian and Mike were handed out next. Rachel, Quinn, Tina, Mercedes, and Santana received polka-dotted boxes. Rory had left medium sized red bags for the rest of the New Directions. Lastly, at the bottom of the crate, boxes wrapped in holiday wrapping paper for Rory's family and blue boxes for Rory's Irish friends were found.
Sam sat back as he watched his friends look through their boxes endearingly, laughing about some inside jokes and reminiscing old times. Seamus cleaned the box out and stepped back, brushing his hands off.
"That's everyone." He said. Sam's stomach lurched.
"Are you sure? I didn't get anything." Sam told Seamus, a pit forming in his stomach.
"Really Sam?" Seamus furrowed his brow and looked in the box again. Sam played with the loose threads on his shirt, waiting nervously.
"You don't think… Rory didn't leave anything for me?" Sam asked Seamus, a trace of despair in his voice. Seamus shook his head vehemently.
"Naw. He loved you, mate." Seamus reassured Sam, "You're letter is probably misplaced, that's all." After pawing around for a couple more minutes, he found a small blue envelope with Sam's name written on it tucked into the folds of the cardboard. It was a thin envelope, the corners were folded down a bit.
"Here ya go, Sam. I knew Rory didn't forget about you." Seamus handed Sam the envelope before leaving him alone. For a while, Sam stared at the item in his hand, simply reveling in the knowledge that Rory had sealed the envelope himself, and the words inside were written by him to Sam especially, ignoring the fact that his letter was by far the shortest letter. Finally, Sam pried the envelope open carefully and sat back on the couch to read his letter eagerly.
Dear Sam,
Don't worry about me anymore, alright? Now it's my turn to take care of you - it's my turn to be your sponsor!
Sam groaned and smiled at the reference to the earlier years of their friendship.
No, but seriously, take care of yourself! Be strong, Sammy. I'll always be with you.
Forever, Rory.
PS. I love you