E is For Embarrassment

Emergency and its characters are the property of Universal Studios and Mark VII – just borrowing them!

"Please, please, don't lift my dress," the young woman pleaded, shifting sideways once again so that she could maintain her fierce hold on the hem of her dress. John Gage, a paramedic for the Los Angeles County Fire Department, flashed a puzzled look towards her. He was crouched on one knee at her side, trying to slide the material of her dress upwards. The garment was stuck firmly to her thigh and between that and the white knuckled grip she was maintaining he wasn't getting anywhere fast.

His tone was patient, but bordering on exasperation. "Miss, I need to see where the blood is coming from."

He didn't want to add that it was an awful lot of blood, and if it was her femoral artery that was in any way compromised, she wasn't going to have to worry about modesty much longer. She had allowed him to at least get a 4x4 pad on wherever it was bleeding from (a good guess on his part by finding the blood by feel); his hand was holding it securely in place and applying pressure. But every time he tried to get that blasted dress out of the way she started to fight, which made the whole situation worse in every way possible.

"Can't you just get someone, um, older maybe?" She asked fretfully, tears beginning to shine in her wide opened eyes. Any other time those glistening little weapons would have had a devastating effect on him, especially coming out of those brilliant blue eyes; he would have probably capitulated after a bit more eyelash fluttering. But not while he was working, and absolutely not when the victim was in jeopardy. What was her problem anyway? After all, his hand was under her dress, what difference was it going to make if he actually saw her upper leg?

"My partner is, but not by much, and right now he's working on someone else…" He explained patiently, switching hands and pleased to see that there was no blood on his fingers. The bleeding had thankfully slowed or stopped thanks to the pressure.

She shook her head and he sighed; it was definitely another one of those things they didn't cover in paramedic training. By the end of his first year, he figured he could write his own manual on bizarre incidents in the field.

"Captain Hammer!" He shouted, as he looked up and around and spied the "older" man coming around the nose of the wrecked car. Maybe the fatherly looking Hammer would fit her needs, because it was evident that his bedside manner wasn't working. She was doing an excellent job of eroding his self-confidence in both his paramedic and people skills.

"Gage?" Hammer questioned, strolling over with his HT dangling from his hand and looking remarkably relaxed, well, as relaxed as a captain could while he was on duty. That meant the accident scene was probably about cleaned up, except for his stubborn victim.

"Cap, this young lady doesn't want, uh, won't let me take a look at her leg," Johnny explained, waving his free hand in the general direction of the leg in question, her clutching fingers, and his other arm with the hand out of sight under the brilliant colors of her dress.

Hammer, as usual with his professionalism firmly in place, responded by raising a questioning eyebrow and looked down at her. She summoned him towards her with a beckoning finger and he obliged her by crouching down next to her and leaning in. John watched as she whispered something in his ear. The expression on the cap's face changed imperceptibly, and Gage would later think that he had definitely seen a smile flash across his leader's face.

"Oh, right, I understand," Hammer said gently, his lips still twisted slightly upwards. "I'll be right back."

He flashed his paramedic a funny look and disappeared in the direction of the squad. Johnny watched him go and shifted his upper body, trying to ease some of the strain that his uncomfortable position on the pavement was inflicting upon him. He again wondered what the repercussions would be if he simply slit her dress with his scissors and treated the wound. And came up with the same answer he'd had several minutes ago when this whole mess had started. He didn't care what his reprimand or punishment might be, but he was pretty sure that she would jump to her feet and take off running, or else leap up and bean him with the giant, heavy purse he had settled, at her request, next to her head. So not only would she aggravate her injury, she would probably knock him senseless. Man, where was his partner when he needed him?

"What's your name, Miss?" He asked, flashing a smile, hoping to ease her agitation. "I'm John, John Gage."

"Amy," she squeaked out, biting her upper lip and inadvertently chewing off the pale pink lipstick she was wearing. "Amy Prentiss."

"Are you sure you're not hurt anywhere else?" he asked, trying to keep his voice low and non-threatening. She was starting to squirm; she was really planting some serious misgivings in his brain about his charisma. The guys kept teasing him about the "Gage" charm, but he was beginning to think when he made an effort to turn it on, it never worked. Must be one of those things that he should just ignore, and that way it would come naturally.

The way she was looking at him reminded him of some kind of animal caught in a trap; good grief, was he really that threatening to her? Or was he just misreading her expressions and movements – perhaps she was in a lot of pain and just wouldn't admit to it. Maybe a head injury? He leaned back a bit, trying to stay out of her personal space but intent on getting to the bottom of the mystery.

She was shaking her head at him in response to his question when, luckily, Captain Hammer reappeared carrying one of the yellow blankets from their truck. He ripped off the plastic cover and hovered over her at about her waist, unfolding the sheet. He knelt down and glanced towards Johnny.

"I'm assuming that your hand under there is keeping pressure on the cut?" He asked wryly, nodding when Gage muttered an annoyed "yes sir" under his breath. "Well, keep that pressure on while I situate Miss…?" He glanced at the girl, who had shifted her saucer huge eyes from the paramedic to the captain.

"Prentiss, Miss Prentiss," she answered breathlessly, her eyes returning to normal.

Johnny blew out his breath and did as he had been instructed, but he was biting back his frustration. He could feel the heat of embarrassment crawling up his neck and warming his cheeks. What did Hammer think he was going to do, let loose and let the chick bleed to death? He was a medic, for Pete's sake, he knew what he was doing, and in this area, a whole heck of a lot more knowledgeable then Hammer. And what was the crack about his hand being up under her skirt? He was really feeling like the Big Bad Wolf to her Little Red Riding Hood right now!

Without lifting the girl, the captain somehow managed to wrap the girl up in the yellow plastic blanket, swaddling it like a giant diaper around her. With a bit of sterile water, Johnny quickly and carefully disengaged the fabric from her skin, heaved a sigh of relief at the sight of the deep gash with no involvement of the artery; he mentally catalogued the wound as needing stitches yes, but muscle or nerve damage probably not.

She was ready for transport within minutes and let loose of Captain Hammer's hand as the ambulance attendants carried her stretcher off towards their waiting vehicle.

"John!" She called and Johnny, carrying a box in each hand, moved up beside her from his position behind her feet. "You will go with me, won't you?"

"Sure, sure," he replied, trying not to stammer his words out. That had been a pretty quick change in her attitude and he was pretty darn sure their usually very blank faced leader had just smirked at him! And there was his missing partner, leaning on the door with a wide grin on his face as he lifted his head away from Hammer's quiet words. DeSoto's patient was already sitting upright, although leaning crookedly to one side, in the ambulance watching the proceedings with interest, so apparently there was no hurry with that guy.

"What?" He shot the word at Roy as he tossed the boxes into the back and waited until the gurney was fastened in place.

Roy grinned wider and shook his head. "My patient has a sprained wrist, and a couple of dislocated fingers. I'll see you at the hospital."

"Right…." Gage replied, letting the attendant out of the back before he climbed in and crouching, spun around on the balls of his feet to glare at both Roy and his captain as they closed the doors.

Although it was only a ten minute trip to Rampart, Johnny felt like it was an eternity. Miss Amy Prentiss fluxuated between outrageous flirting and childlike innocence, batting her eyes at him one moment and then switching to simple, curious questions about his job. He couldn't figure her out, and the presence of the very amused male victim didn't help matters at all. In his haste to exit the vehicle when they finally arrived at their destination, he almost fell flat on his face. Only the quick reflexes of good old dependable DeSoto saved him and as a reward Johnny let him escort the girl through the doors, while he assisted the rather boozy smelling man from the back.

Of course he had to listen to several rather crude comments from the intoxicated fellow as he procured a wheelchair for him and left him in the capable hands of Joe Early. By the time he joined Roy at the desk where Dixie was perched on her chair, he was ready to call it quits for the day and slink home like the cur he was beginning to feel like.

"What did Hammer tell you?" He demanded of Roy, completely ignoring Dixie and stabbing an accusing finger towards his still smiling associate. "What was that girl's problem?"

"Oh, it was pretty simple, actually. She didn't want you to see her in her granny panties," Roy replied, letting out a rude snort of laughter.

"Her what? Granny panties, what the hell are those?" He threw a look towards the head nurse and mumbled a sheepish "sorry' even as her hand flew up to cover her mouth.

"I suppose you could call them, er, a little help here Dix?"

"Something no self-respecting single girl wears if there's a chance that a male is going to see her wearing them," Dixie explained matter of factly, switching her gaze back and forth between the two men, her eyes sparkling in merriment behind her long lashes. At Gage's blank look, she elaborated a bit further. "You know, if there's a chance that she's going to go home with him?"

"So you mean she was willing to bleed to death just because she didn't want me to see her in her ugly underwear?" Johnny was incredulous, and still not understanding the whole situation. The only thing he could think of was the old saying not to leave home unless you had on a clean pair of underwear just in case you WERE in an automobile wreck; he was pretty sure that was not what the young lady had intended.

"Just take it as a compliment, Johnny, and don't try to figure it out. She obviously was embarrassed, found you very attractive, and just couldn't handle you seeing her in her less than sexy panties."

Johnny felt the heat rising in his neck and reddening his face once again, started to reply, but choked on his attempted words and bolted down the hallway towards the safety of the rescue squad. As soon as he was out of sight, Dixie dropped her head down onto her arms and buried her laughter in the muffling cloth of her uniform, shoulders shaking.

"I swear, Roy, I will never understand women, not now, not ever," Johnny complained as they left the parking lot, his voice finally restored but his anxiety rising with each uttered word. "I just won't."

Roy smiled again, thinking that was one of the great pleasures of being married, trying to decipher his wife's motives, actions, and moods and usually failing miserably but still, when you loved someone that much, it was a very enjoyable puzzle. He was sure JoAnne had the same problem with him. With Johnny and the odd way he seemed to process things, however, it was hard to tell whether he would ever understand it. "Someday you will, John, just don't let it bother you too much. It's what makes the world go around."

"Yeah right," came the snorted reply and there was a brief period of silence as Johnny appeared to be mulling over the situation, slouching down in his seat with a mutinous look on his face.

"You know, she was a cute chick, but still, granny panties! Weird, just weird!" He bolted upright suddenly as a thought occurred to him; he threw a horrified look at Roy. "You don't think Hammer told the guys, do you?"

There was a long pause as both men considered the consequences. Johnny swallowed hard and smacked a hand down hard on the seat. "Chet, Chet will just have a field day with this! Can you imagine him getting his hands on a pair of those things and stringing them up from the flagpole? With a sign under them saying….."

Roy shook his head, not wanting to visualize that picture and broke in before the distraught man could finish the sentence. "So you think Chet is the one that's been targeting you with the little pranks?"

A long suffering sigh escaped Gage. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's him by process of elimination."

This time DeSoto nodded in agreement. He pulled past the front of their firehouse and flicked a sideways glance at the flagpole as he began backing up the driveway. Johnny did have a point, with Chet one never did know what the man was going to do next!

~Fini~

A/N -These little one shots, hopefully a bit humorous for the readers as well as embarrassing for the guys, are my way of reenergizing and taking a break from the darker, angst filled stories that I also write. Thanks for reading!