Farscape: Conscience
Written by LockBox22
Disclaimer: I don't own Farscape or anything related to it in anyway.
I have a conscience. It doesn't make it out there very often, but it's there; somewhere in my gut.
Everyone thinks that Peacekeeper's are breed without a conscious, without feelings and that's why we never flinch even when carrying out a close assassination. Even when your enemies guts spill onto you. They are wrong.
We feel. We love, hate and we do get disgusted. A conscience is not breed out of us; we are just taught to ignore it. We are taught that this thing we call a conscience is not our friend. It is our enemy. It prevents us from doing things that make the world a better place.
Who are they kidding?
Our conscience comes back to haunt us. After so many years of ignoring it, it screams to be heard. The dreams start; enemies that we have dispatched without blinking suddenly appear during the night. There is no warning and there is nothing we can do to get away from them.
But we try. Oh, do we try! Recreation; drink; harder, more challenging training courses, but in the end nothing works. We do not tell anyone; we are not supposed to feel remorse.
But after a while we can't ignore the dreams anymore. We wake up screaming and shaking; the fear takes hold of us and we decide to stop sleeping altogether.
Next comes the tremors while you're on an op. Your hands start to shake for no reason and you find yourself wondering why you do this; kill. That is a bad place for any solider to find himself in. We never ask why; we just do. We kill; kill for the greater good.
Then come the headaches from the self-induced sleep-deprivation; combine that with the shakes and we're frelled; the missions fails. That's when they take us away.
We are locked up; forced to deal with the demons that haunt us all alone and in the dark. They never let us out because of the feelings we experience; remorse, guilt and shame. Feelings that Peacekeepers should not experience.
And all because someone decided that soldiers didn't need a conscience. In my book, ignoring things doesn't make them go away. Maybe someone should tell that to High Command.