Disclaimer: J.K Rowling owns it all. I have no claim over any of her characters.

Hard to Resist

Chapter 1

Keeping Secrets

Small droplets of blood fell into the rushing water. The brown haired girl sat on the toilet seat with tears in her eyes. She was exhausted and troubled with thoughts of something that had happened weeks ago.

"Just forget about it," she told herself, "Just forget it all."

"Hermione!" boomed a voice from outside the door, "Hurry up! I need to use the bathroom!"

Hermione cursed under her breath, grabbed her razor, and opened the door. She slowly slipped the thin razor into her back jean pocket and pulled her sleeve over her arm and wrist.

"What took you so long?" asked the red-haired boy standing in front of her. He never noticed her put something into her pocket.

"Nothing, Ron," she replied with her usual tone of voice.

Ron stared at her. She was so beautiful to him. She looked very cute also... just standing there.

"Ron?" he heard someone yell causing him to snap out of his thoughts.

"Huh?" He asked.

"I said 'excuse me'! You're in my way!" she snapped. Pulling her long sleeve over her wrist again to make sure it was covered.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, moving out of her way, "Sorry," he said as she walked past him and smiled.

Hermione heard the bathroom door close and breathed a sigh of relief. She had gotten away with it again for what seemed like the hundredth time. She had no idea what she would do if anyone found out about her dark secret let alone the cause of it. She continued to walk down the hall and back to the room she shared with Ginny. She needed to finish packing since she was leaving with the Weasleys and Harry for Hogwarts the next day. She had spent a good three weeks with the Weasleys and her friends at The Burrow. Now she was ready to go to yet another place of sanctuary.

The pain in her wrist was stinging as the sleeve threatened to creep up past it. She could not risk revealing it and quickly pulled the sleeve back down but she ended up accidentally grazing the fresh cuts with her fingernails. She grimaced in pain.

"Hey!" yelled out a long-haired redhead from the doorway.

"Oh, hey, Ginny," said Hermione, hiding her pain perfectly well. She had done this a lot already. If nobody had noticed by now then nobody ever will especially since Ginny had no idea and they had shared a room for the past three weeks. So there was really nothing to worry about.

"Are you excited about tomorrow?" asked Ginny knowing that Hermione's passion was school.

"Yeah, of course," said Hermione with a the same smile she had been using all summer.

Ginny looked at Hermione strangely as she saw her continue to pack her clothes into her trunk. She had been noticing that Hermione had been acting strangely lately and Ginny had no idea why. Perhaps it was the fact that Hermione had spent nearly a month with the Weasleys and she knew Hermione had had a crush on Ron for a while. Ginny figured that Hermione was upset over the fact that Ron had not asked her out yet even though they have spent all this time in the same house so close to each other.

"What's wrong, Mione?" questioned Ginny finally.

"Huh?" replied Hermione quickly shooting her eyes up at Ginny's face, "What do you mean?"

Ginny noticed Hermione's defensive tone and got slightly scared. What was wrong with her? Hermione never used to be like this and if there was anything wrong surely someone would know. Ginny knew if there was ever anything bothering her Hermione would always tell her. Throughout the years they have grown much closer since Hermione's best friends were two guys and Ginny was the only other girl among all of them. They have grown to become almost like sisters, so Ginny was upset that Hermione was obviously hiding something from her.

"I mean you've been acting really strange lately and I've given you plenty of time to tell me what has been going on with you but you haven't said anything. I'm just tired of you holding it in like this," explained the youngest Weasley.

Hermione was very quiet for a moment. There was no way she could tell Ginny what was wrong. She was afraid that she would never be looked at the same way again. She was a stupid, ugly, and disgusting girl and she could not bear it if anyone else knew the truth about her.

"Nothing is wrong, Ginny" she replied softly. The cuts on her wrist numbing slowly, "I'm all right. Perhaps you're just being paranoid."

"Hermi-"

"Hey, girls!" yelled out a cheery voice from somewhere inside Ginny and Hermione's room.

"Fred... George!" yelled out Ginny happily. She was upset that she wouldn't be able to finish her conversation with Hermione but they would have time to do that later. Now her twin brothers had come to visit them and Ginny was not going to pass up the opportunity to see the twin brothers she rarely got to see nowadays.

"Hey Ginny and Hermione! How are you two?" asked Fred.

"We're fine but what are you two doing here? Aren't you guys suppose to be managing your joke shop?"

"Ah, don't worry about it," said George, "Our assistants can handle ONE day without us!"

"Yeah," piped Fred, "aren't you glad to see us?"

"Of course I am, but I didn't expect you two to show up!" she admitted.

"Oh, c'mon, like we were just gonna let you all go off to Hogwarts tomorrow without even saying goodbye!" exclaimed George with a clear look of hurt on his face.

"Mione! How have you been?" interrupted Fred, putting a stop to a possible argument between his two siblings.

"I've been good, Fred," answered Hermione in the happiest tone she could muster.

"That's great... well we've been missing you all. It sucks that we have no time to hang out that much anymore."

"Yeah, well, you two are busy with your shop so it's understandable," she answered pulling her sleeve back down out of habit and continuing to fold and pack her clothes.

Fred and George nodded, "Well... time to bother Ron!" they said in unison and disappeared.

Ginny laughed, "They're always the same, I love how they haven't changed one bit." She walked closer to Hermione. "You on the other hand... what's wrong? Hope you didn't think I'd forget this little conversation."

Hermione sighed. She knew she couldn't tell the truth, but she didn't want to lie. No, actually, she DID want to lie... it was hard to resist.

"I'm just stressed out about school, Ginny, I'm taking a lot of hard classes this year, you know?" She closed her trunk and set it down on the floor.

"Yeah, I guess I understand, you work yourself too hard, Mione, you need to relax a bit. You always have your head in a book, so maybe you should try just having fun once in a while - I mean, I know you think reading is fun, but an evening out with friends will do you good sometimes," replied Ginny smiling, "I know Ron would LOVE to take you out any day of the week!" She giggled.

Hermione laughed. Ron, she thought, he wouldn't notice her unless he needed help on homework or something. He didn't need her. No one did. No one cared. She was just a dirty nothing with book smarts that would take her nowhere to happiness. As a matter of fact, if he was ever to find out what was wrong with her, he'd probably never look at her again.

"Yeah, you're right!" answered Hermione, forcing out a laugh.

"Ginny! Come help me with dinner!" they heard Mrs. Weasley call from downstairs. Ginny groaned and gave Hermione a hug before rushing out of the room.

Hermione was all alone in Ginny's room once again. This was all too much for her. She had so many secrets she needed to hide all the time from now on. She wondered if she'd succeed in hiding them well without any problems or nosy people trying to pry. Ginny noticed something... finally... but she was easily brushed off. The brown-haired girl walked around the room and sat on the bed. What if it all got so bad that she wasn't able to hide it all? What if her mother's boyfriend killed her next time he saw her?

Yes, it was true. Hermione's parents had gotten divorced the year before and this summer Hermione's mother had gotten a new boyfriend who would beat her constantly while her mother went out. He had started living with them for weeks until Hermione went to the Burrow to get away from it all. She didn't even know why he did it. She had never done anything to him. It all started the night that Ms. Granger and her boyfriend had a fight and he left, just walked out of anger. Hermione's mom left soon after thinking she had made a mistake and set out to look for him. About an hour later, Hermione heard the doorbell ring and she answered it, happy that her mom's boyfriend, Robert, had decided to come home. He was pissed off and drunk. It was then that Hermione had her first taste of physical, emotional, and mental anguish.

Her mother loved Robert so much, so much, too much, that is why she hasn't said anything this whole time. How could she? How could someone tell their mother that the person she loves is evil and vicious? She's so obsessed that she probably wouldn't even believe Hermione!

"Mom, your boyfriend is an evil bastard who hits me and threatens to hurt you if I say anything about it! He kicks my ass and leaves me with bruises and cuts in places where no one can ever notice! He hurts me! He hurts me so much... but you love him!" She continued whispering to herself, "You love him! I can't say anything about it because first of all you probably won't believe me and second... you're so happy. I can't ruin that! I just can't!"

She heard a scratching at the door and gasped. Someone had heard her! The door pushed open and Hermione saw nothing at first but then an orange ball of fur popped in.

"Oh, Crookshanks!" she picked up her beloved cat and began to pet it," What am I going to do? I can't deal with all of this!" she whispered harshly to him, her emotions getting the better of her, "How can anyone dare look at me again! Oh, if they only knew what that asshole did to me! I tried, Shanks, I really did try!" She couldn't hold it in anymore. Her eyes exploded in a river of rage and depression. This was her life now. She was a cutter who had to deal with the fact that a guy named Robert had beat her constantly for what seemed like eternity and the second she tried to fight back... he raped her.

"How can I forget it ever happened?" she grabbed a pillow and screamed into it, muffling her pain. She flipped over and Crookshanks lept on top of her onto her chest and began to cuddle. She smiled genuinely for the first time in a long time and began to pet him softly. She stopped in order to lift her hand and pull down her sleeve. A series of cuts ran along her wrist and down to her elbow where her sleeve covered up whatever else could be there. She fingered the new scars on her arms. She had never really looked at herself since she started cutting and she enjoyed the markings on her skin. They were soothing and helped her cope with her new-found demons. It was going to be her and her blade from now on.. and no one else.

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