Hey! This is my first fan fiction soo, yeah, go easy on me. Sadly, I do not own Degrassi, I just felt the need to say that…anyway, please enjoy! :)
(Clare's POV)
I heard a knock on my door so I went to go answer it. I looked through the peephole but, it was blocked. I scrunched up my eyebrows in confusion and opened my door cautiously, there he was. I quickly tried to close the door but he blocked it with his foot.
"What are you doing here", I said as my voice quivered. Dammit! I can't let him show how frightened he makes me. He started to back me up into my house and eventually, my back hit the wall. He walked deliberately towards me, like I was his prey.
He smirked sinisterly and said, "You think I'd actually let you leave just like that? Bitch, you're mine" he then, dove in and kissed me roughly. His lips were so chapped and he reeked of booze. I jaggedly pushed him away from me and started running upstairs. He pulled my hair so hard, that I fell back and my head hit the banister of my stairs.
I groaned in pain. "You're not leaving me, ever", he said while smiling at me. He started to drag me from my hair to the couch and picked me up to slam me on it. He jumped up on top of me and pinned my arms over my head.
"Please, just let me go! Leave me alone" I screamed while tears started to pour down my face.
"Aw, what, you don't want to be with me", he chuckled while moving his hand to retrieve something from his back pocket. He slowly pulled it out and it was-
"Clare…Clare!" I jumped and quickly averted my attention back to her. "You always seem to do that, drift your attention to something else. Something that's bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?" she said while crossing her right leg over her left at the knee. I glared at her, annoyed that never a therapy session goes by without her trying to pry out what I'm thinking or feeling.
Ms. Urie. The annoying, slutty therapist that my mother hired to "fix" me. She thinks she does a kick ass job at handling her patients but, eventually, they either get mentally worse, or if they're men, they usually have sex with her, even if they are a minor. My mom falls for her "best friend" act but, she doesn't fool me. She is positive that she can help me with my issues and to "stop being a stuck-up little bitch."
Bitch. That word hit me like a ton of bricks, covering me whole and preventing me from escaping my slow and painful death. Ever since that night, the night that has been engraved in my head. A memory that not even amnesia can take away. The sensation and feeling that I had doing what I did.
A smile crept up on face as I recollected the actions of that night. "The answer will always be the same Ms. Urie, I have nothing to say to you", I said as I raised my left eyebrow and smirked in a challenging way, waiting for her response.
"Listen, you little bitch", my smirk faded when she said that and continued, "It doesn't make difference, either you talk and keep me entertained or waste my time, either way, I still get paid, sweetheart" she said as she smiled sarcastically while tilting her head to her right side.
I stared at her with a disgusted expression on my face and said, "You don't deserve to know what is going on with me, you wouldn't understand". I shook my head and somberly looked down. I was defeated, exhausted, and just…tired. Tired of the same bullshit every day. Tired of having this weight holding me down. Tired of the guilt that is eating away at me, feeding off of me like a fucking little parasite.
"How would you know that? I might surprise you..," she said while staring intently at me, anticipating on what she thought I was about to say. I opened my mouth to say something and right when I was about to, my mom barged into the room.
"Clare! What is taking so long? You were done 20 minutes ago, now let's go and stop wasting Ms. Urie's time!" my mother said while gripping my right arm roughly and apologizing to Ms. Urie. "I am so sorry about Clare wasting your time", she said and then abruptly looked at me with hate in her eyes, "all she ever does is waste time".
Entry #1
Dear Agony, many people view you as an extreme and usually prolonged pain, an intense physical or mental suffering, a torment, a struggle. Despite these different interpretations of you, all I do is find comfort in you. I can always count on you to be there, even when I don't want you to. No matter how hard I try to liberate myself from your feeling, I always go back. You and your friend depression always find a way to creep up on me. I don't mind anymore, you guys are the only home I have…
My mother and I got home and she walked straight into the living room. I closed the door behind me and as I was about to go upstairs, "Clare, get your ass over here please", my mother called me. Well, at least she said please this time and not threatened me.
"Wow, you said please for once, how refreshing". I said sarcastically.
"Don't get smart with me young lady", she said sternly as she held her right index finger towards me and her left hand on her hip. "Now, have a seat on the couch, I need to talk to you", she said somberly while pointing at the couch.
I froze and my eyes widened in fear. I was completely immobile and panic was written all over my face. That couch is where IT happened. The night that everything changed.
"Wh-what about?" I stuttered while staring intently at that couch. "Would you at least sit down?" my mother said impatiently. I brusquely gave my attention back to my mom and said," I'm perfectly fine standing".
"But-", as she spoke, I interrupted her and said, "Please just…just say it", I said dejectedly. My mother sighed loudly and said, "Fine, your father-
(Eli's POV)
"I can't live like this anymore! I've dealt with this bullshit long enough!" I said as I descended up the stairs from my basement. "Eli! Eli! Please, baby boy, this is who we are, you have to accept it!" my mom said as she clutched on my left arm, preventing me from going out my front door.
"Mom, come on", I said in an exasperated tone, "I get it, I grew up not believing in any god, but this, this is way too extreme and I'm done living like this. Ever since dad got this stupid idea for doing this I've been against it. I was too scared to speak up about it, but not anymore!"
I shook my head and said, "Mom please, don't do this anymore. Tell dad to not do this anymore!" I tried to reason with her. "I don't think he'll listen, you know how stubborn he is" she said while rubbing my arm gently, trying to calm me down.
"Then have sex with him, seduce him, give him the best fucking blowjob he's ever had, I don't know, just please, do something to stop this" I begged her. My sight getting blurry with tears.
"I don't think that will be possible honey", she said softly. I got infuriated and snatched my arm from her grip. I swiftly opened the door and trudged through it, slamming it from behind and getting into my hearse, Morty. I started it and the engine rumbled, ready to take on anything. I drove out of the driveway and just…drove.
How was it? Was it at least…decent? Should I continue?
What happened with Clare's dad? What did the mystery dude pull out in Clare's memory?
What did she do? What is Eli talking about?
Why am I asking so many questions? Anyway….please review! I'll love you forever…