Title: Five Things Jayne Shouldn't Have Shot.
Author: redbrunja
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Mainly Jayne gen.
Spoilers: Full series.
Author's Note: Written forhireadd.
Summery: "Fifth job in a row that went south faster than a mule can spit, he hasn't seen his paycheck in just as long, and he's expected to sit still while more people shot at him?"
–1–
Carlian Foy, first man he'd ever killed. Jayne'd been greener than grass and hadn't yet grown into the pair of boots his mama had bought him for a goodbye gift and if he thought about it... well, he made a habit not to.
–2–
That big-ass, emu-camel hybrid thing from Nuit. It wasn't the shooting that was the bad idea, it was the fact he was out of amo for Vera, so he'd borrowed Brody's pistol, and that little toy hadn't done more than annoy the rutting bastard, so he and Brody had ended up being chased way the hell and gone out in the desert.
Jayne sure did hate sobering up in the middle of the nothin' ten miles from town with a butt-ugly little runt next to him.
–3–
The captain. Jayne didn't actually try to hit Mal, and really, the way that man carried on about that little graze? Embarrassing is what it was. And how could you blame a man? Fifth job in a row that went south faster than a mule can spit, he hasn't seen his paycheck in just as long, and he's expected to sit still while more people shot at him?
Mal should have expected him to get a little tetchy, and was it Jayne's fault that he was so good he missed missing?
There was no call for Zoe to punch him out like she did.
–4–
Some luh-suh hotel in some luh-suh town that didn't have any fun whores and he was dead asleep, right? If she was going to be sneaking around strangers' rooms she should've learned not to make the floorboards squeak or, gorram it, turned the rutting light on so he'd know she was a skinny child and not some big bad tah mah duh hwoon dahn who wanted a little payback.
It's the Rim, little girl. Don't you know that men like him shoot first and don't ask questions?
He didn't even have anything worth stealing.
–5–
"Just make sure Kaylee's okay, just make sure Kaylee's okay, just make sure Kaylee's okay," they kept saying that like he was a gorram moron - he knew, he wanted Kaylee back just as much as any of them, even that sly little doctor, what did they think, that he was going to miss and hit Kaylee?
It was a tricky shot, sure, but there was no. ruttin'. way.
That pretty boy who'd decided that he needed a bit of leverage against the captain of Serenity leaned into Jayne's scope, face inches from Kaylee's, and Jayne blew his ruttin' head off.
The body flopped to the ground, and Jayne moved his scope a fraction and spent the time until the calvery arrived watching Kaylee's tears drip through the blood on her face.
"Sorry I had to shoot him in front of you, bao bay," he muttered.
It was when he saw the bruises ("they're nothing really, are you sure that gunshot isn't hurting, cap'n?" she'd said brightly while the doctor wrapped bandages around her wrists, touching her like she was made of glass) that he decided the only thing he regretted was not managing to kill that ruttin' hwun dan twice.
––
"Tah mah duh hwoon dahn" means "Mother humping son of a bitch."
"Luh-suh" means "garbage"
"hwun dan" means "bastard"
"Bao bay" means "sweetheart."