A/N: Insomnia is no fun, but it has given me some good ideas. This is probably pretty similar in theme to my fic August the Thirty-First, but I had to wonder what moving to Hogwarts was like for these boys too. I apologise to my fellow James fans, as he doesn't quite make it into the story. Special thanks to my betareader ladyofthelight101 who gave this a read despite being busy, and to kt_tonguetied who read and reviewed this on livejournal. Title inspired by the Simpsons, while the characters come from Harry Potter. Unfortunately, I own neither.

Can't Sleep, Giant Squid Will Eat Me

Sirius Black couldn't sleep. Excitement had overwhelmed him. He'd only been here a few hours and he'd already seen a giant squid, a ghost with his head half-off, a man taller and bigger than four men the size of Father... Though he was sleepy enough not to be grinning in the dark like he was earlier, he couldn't switch off his mind without some new thought of Quidditch, secret passages, or his new friend James Potter coming back to him. He wanted to go and explore right now and curl up in his enormous bed at the same time. He opened his eyes and wiggled his fingers and toes. Sleeping was a waste of time anyway. Plan for tomorrow; grab James and sneak into girls' dorms with plastic spider, get bacon sandwich with lashings of ketchup for breakfast, get 'accidently' lost on way to first lesson and explore other side of castle, then repeat...

Peter Pettigrew couldn't sleep. Fear had overwhelmed him. He was in an enormous castle with an unfathomable number of rooms and uncontrollable staircases to take him to them. There was a giant squid in the lake that could well be carnivorous. Food had appeared out of nowhere and everyone was wearing dresses, even the boys. True, they wore trousers underneath, but that didn't stop them from being dresses any more than kilts stopped being skirts because they were tartan (as Peter's dad would say). Peter didn't know how in the world he, a 'Muggleborn' from Durham, was supposed to fit into all of this. Had the boys he was staying with ever watched Doctor Who, or eaten raspberry jelly, or played recorders in Infants? Did they eat ham and cheese sandwiches on Sunday nights and play British Bulldog 123 in the summer? He didn't know whether he was normal or weird any more. And he still didn't know how to hold a wand. Peter sighed and pulled the covers over his head, hoping to block out his fears.

Remus Lupin couldn't sleep. Homesickness had overwhelmed him. He'd been looking forward to going to Hogwarts for as long as he could remember but now that he was here all he could think about was how long it'd be before he got to go home. He had been so upset tonight he could barely eat a bite-nothing that wasn't cooked by his mum was worth eating, anyway. His parents had encouraged him for his first night to close his eyes and pretend it was his own bed but it felt cold and too big, especially without his teddy bear. He had some sense of the moonlight even through his curtains...soon, he would have to transform in a creepy little house without Mum or Dad anywhere near but a Mediwitch who'd probably be really horrible, and even if she wasn't he doubted she'd give him a cuddle if he wanted one. It was too much to bear. Tears were pouring down his face.

Each boy felt his emotions getting stronger and stronger, as if there was an energy surrounding them despite it being late and pitch black in the room. There were little gasps. Pillows and blankets rustled. The wind moved the trees outside. Then suddenly-

There was a very loud, rude noise. Probably a smelly noise too, but no one was close enough to tell. A thick, tense silence fell in the room as no one knew how to react.

Peter could hardly contain himself. He was, after all, eleven, and it was late at night, so there was nothing more hilarious than a loud fart, even when he had spent the past day in a state of utter terror. He cupped his hands over his mouth in an attempt to stifle his amusement, but Sirius Black opposite him still pricked up his ears at the sound of giggling. Hyperactivity loves company.

Sirius threw back the covers and crawled to the edge of the bed. He drew back the curtains and whispered 'Hey!' to the darkness.

Peter heard this, and immediately stopped laughing. What if he had woken this person up? They would hate him immediately. The boy had to be called Serious for a reason. He gulped, and crawled to the end of his own bed and peeked at Sirius through the curtains. It was a great relief to see that he was smiling.

'Hey, was that you?'

'No! Was it you?'

'No! Did you have beans for dinner?'

'Er...I might have done.'

'Ughh...' Sirius said, but he was still laughing. 'So how come you're awake?'

Peter felt he might as well be nearly honest. 'I-I was thinking about t-tomorrow.'

Not a lie, but it wasn't in the way Sirius had been thinking about it.

'I know! I can't wait! I want to explore everywhere! I want to go to the third floor, and the Forbidden Forest, and...'

'Are you off your trolley? I heard there are creatures in there! Like trolls, and-and vampires and-and...werewolves! Werewolves!'

Sirius was about to reply something along the lines of 'Exactly!' when their conversation was interrupted by a gasp and a sob from the bed next to Peter's. The boys gave each other serious looks.

'Is he OK?'

'I think he's crying.'

'Why?'

'Maybe he's scared. Maybe he misses his mum.'

'Big baby.'

'Yeah.'

However, as the sniffling noises continued, with the added sound effect of attempts to hide them under the blankets, the boys felt guilty. Peter started to remember his mum, and how he missed her a tiny bit, while Sirius began to wonder if he ought to be missing his mum.

Peter decided to take the initiative this time. 'What was his name again?'

'Loopy or something. What's your name again?'

'Peter Pettigrew.'

'My name's Black.'

'I thought your name was Serious?'

'In boarding school, you have to call each other by your surnames, Pettigrew.'

'Oh. OK, Black.'

Their eyes darted to 'Loopy's' bed. With an understanding nod, the two boys clambered out of bed and snuck over to the bed next to Peter's. Slowly, Peter drew back the curtain, and a pair of brown eyes rimmed with red glanced at them then hid themselves in the pullow.

Peter gave Sirius an awkward look, then said slowly 'Er...we wanted to check if you're alright.'

'Mmm fine.' The other boy said. 'Go back to bed if you want to.'

Sirius and Peter chose to ignore this. 'What's your name?'

'Remuph Lupfuff'

'Pardon?'

'Remus Lupin'

'I'm Peter Pettigrew.'

'I'm Sirius Black. Why are you crying?' Sirius asked bluntly.

Remus didn't look at them. 'My tummy hurts. I've got indigestion.'

'You didn't even eat anything.' Peter recalled. 'I remember 'cos I had the last baked potato.'

'And three before that' Sirius muttered.

Remus bit his lip to stop himself from crying again. 'Um...alright...I know this sounds babyish but I've never been away from my mum and dad before and I really...' He could hardly finish the sentence without a lump in his throat 'really miss them...'

There was a brief pause, after which Peter said. 'I miss my mam too. You know, on Sundays...' His thoughts began to drift to his little home in Durham, '...she makes me fried egg without the yolks. They probably don't do that here.'

'My mum makes me hot chocolate. She has one that tastes kind of nutty that I like.' Remus sniffed.

'She's sending me a care package on Saturday.' Peter confided. 'She thinks I'm in the war or something, she'll be giving me woolly socks and corned beef.'

Remus looked much happier to know he wasn't the only one very close to his parents 'My dad is going to pass on my puzzle comics, and I'll get a chocolate bar every Friday.'

Sirius felt strangely left out all of a sudden. Kreacher never made him anything special for breakfast. There was that time they had grapefruit, but he got the juice in his eye and Regulus had laughed at him. Nor did Mother and Father offer to send any care packages-they probably wouldn't want to, if he was in Gryffindor...Feeling his happy mood slip, he changed the subject.

'Who wants to go exploring?'

Peter shrieked 'NOW?!'

Remus touched his arm 'Shh...you'll wake James up.'

Peter had momentarily forgotten where he was, but now he remembered, and all his fear came flooding back to him; 'This castle is huge! I'm not going round it in the dark, it's scary enough with the lights on!'

Remus and Sirius both chuckled. 'No, it isn't!'

'It is!' Peter insisted with frustration. 'And there's a giant squid outside and centaurs in the forest and ghosts...I've never seen any of that stuff before! I expect you guys have ghosts floating around your houses and an uncle who's a vampire or something but I don't know anything about this stuff...'

His two classmates raised their eyebrows. Peter hesitated. 'Er...do you, have monsters in your house?'

'Depends what you mean by monsters.' Sirius replied, smiling.

'Yeah...' Remus said nervously. 'We don't have dragons or anything.'

'What?! Dragons are real too?! Oh, holy moley...if I don't get turned into a frog, or eaten by a werewolf or pulled under water by a squid I can be burnt to death instead!'

Sirius found all this very amusing. 'You know, I heard there's a monster in the school as well.'

To everyone's surprise, it wasn't Peter but Remus who made an odd squeak at this.

'That isn't true!'

'It is.'

'How do you know?'

'Because James-er, I mean, Potter, said that this boy, whose uncle is...er...basically, James said.'

'Well, it's not true,' Remus insisted. 'It's not true because...Professor Dumbledore wouldn't let monsters into the school.'

'Wouldn't he?' Peter asked, looking very relieved.

'No.' Remus said. 'He-he really wouldn't.'

'He let that Hagrid in,' Sirius said. 'My father thinks he's an idiot for doing that.'

'Nobody is clever enough to call Dumbledore an idiot.' Remus responded, with such calmness and poise that the discussion ended immediately. However, with barely a moment to think about this, Sirius's mind was back on task;

'So...shall we wake James up?'

'I don't want to go exploring,' Peter moaned exasperatedly. He was past the stage of feeling ashamed of his fear now. 'I came to school so I could learn for years, not so I could die when I was eleven!'

Sirius was about to scoff again, when Remus gave him a look which seemed to say 'Don't'. It was at that moment, more than any other, that it occurred to Sirius Black for the very first time that Muggleborns were not to be mocked, but to be befriended. The idea of someone growing up without knowing about magic was baffling, perhaps even wrong according to Mother and Father but...if you thought about it from their point of view, it was scary.

What was very clear to Sirius was that there was a mantle to be taken up, and so he took it;

'Peter...Pettigrew, you're never going to learn about this stuff if you hide in your room all day. You just don't know how amazing it is, but I'm going to make sure you do know because I know everything about the wizarding world.'

Remus rolled his eyes, but Peter was already glowing with wide-eyed admiration.

'And nothing's going to kill you.' Sirius continued, thoroughly embracing the Gryffindor spirit. 'Because if there are any monsters then Remus, I mean, Lupin and I can fight them...'

'No we can't.'

'Shut up, Lupin.' Sirius told him, casually.

Remus clapped his hand over his mouth in shock and shame. 'Oh, I'm sorry!'

Peter almost rolled his eyes then. How anyone could get to eleven and still think 'shut up' was very rude he didn't know.

'...well,' Sirius said, changing tack, 'put it this way. My cousin Narcissa has been here for six years. And she's afraid of dogs, for Heaven's sake. So if anybody's going to get killed round here it's her. But she's been here for ages, so if she's still alive you will be too.'

Remus would have said that that didn't make an awful lot of sense, but Peter seemed very happy with it, and besides, he didn't want to aggravate Sirius again.

'OK,' Peter said. 'I won't be scared, as long as you're with me.'

Sirius adored that, and put an arm around Peter in his delight. 'Don't worry Peter, I will be.'

'Pettigrew, you mean.'

'Yeah, Pettigrew.'

Remus stared at them. He looked a little watery again. 'Um...chaps?'

Gordon Bennett, he did not just say 'chaps'. Lord help us. Peter thought.

'Yeah?' Sirius said.

'Can...can...can I be your friend, too?'

The three boys came dangerously close to something like a hug, but drew back from it.

'You don't ask, silly.' Peter said. And with that, a new friendship was born.

'Let's go and wake up James!'

'Potter!'

'Is there another James...?'

~ September 2nd, 1971