The Ejector Seat Incident It was a bright spring morning in Germany. The sun was shining bright, and there was a nice refreshing breeze gently blowing leaves across the field. Ludwig was hard at work training his soldiers for the war against the Allies, when he heard the rumbling of a car approaching.
"Doitsu!Douitsu! Look! Look! This is amazing!" Germany heard an excited voice shout.
Ludwig looked up to see Italy driving his jeep the kubelwagon waving his arm to catch the blonde nation's attention. Germany groaned and shook his head in annoyance. 'Ugh why dose that dumkoph have to drive my car?' Ludwig thought himself 'He's such a bad river I hope he didn't do anything to my poor kubelwagon.'
"Just how many times do I have to tell you to get permission from me when you want to use the kubelwagen?" Germany asked the auburn haired nation, his voiced clearly laced with irritation.
"Look, look, Germany! I did something incredible!" Feliciano replied putting the car in park.
"This car is incredible!" The Italian man said as he hopped out of the car patting its door in appreciation.
"Mr. Giuliani did a super modification in order to run away immediately no matter where the enemy is!" Italy says cheerfully.
Germany frowned and stomped briskly towards Italy in anger, swiftly grabbing Italy in a tight headlock.
"I see, you had my Kubelwagon modified again?" Germany shouted tightening his grip on the Italian's neck.
"Oh shoot!" Italy muttered fearfully as he suddenly found it harder to breathe.
"You'd better be able to put it back the way it was this time!" Ludwig growled as he recalled with dismay the disastrous heap his last jeep was reduced to thanks to that quack Giuliani's 'improvements'
"Ow,ow,ow... I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Feliciano cried out in pain a frowning, "But your car is cool, soo..."
Germany slowly released Italy from his grasp, and put his hand to his temple already feeling a headache coming on due to the ditzy Italian's antics. 'Well, I should at least see what the little moron had done to the car. ' Thought Germany to blonde man prayed it wasn't nearly disastrous as the fiasco with the white flag that folded out and waved back in fourth. The damn thing hit Germany square in the back of his head nearly taking it off! Then there was the debacle involving the pop-out serving tray containing a plate of pasta. The tray wound up coming out too fast and with too much force causing the plate containing Italy's favorite food to go flying all over the dashboard and seat. Germany grimaced, gritting his teeth as he recalled how big of a pain in the ass it was trying to scrub marinara sauce out of the kubelwagon's interior.
"Anyway, show me what kind of stupid modification you had done." Said Germany in a resigned tone.
"Okay! It's amazing! Hold on a sec, okay?" Italy replied smiling as he hopped back into the car to activate the latest inovation. The auburn haiored man began pressing buttons and pulling levers.
"You do this here and do that here, And this one too, and if you twist it..." Italy murmurs to himself as he keeps pressing switches on the car. After pulling a final lever, their was a hiss of an air and the jeep's seat shot up in the air with tremendous force. Italy was sent up into air with the car seat spiraling higher and higher until he disappeared into sky with ""Vee!"
"Huh? Wh-What the heck?" Germany cried out in shock as he watched his friend being launched into the sky
.
Ludwig looked up into the blue sky with a look of mingled shock and horror as he tried to comprehend what had just taken place.
"Italy!" "O-Oh no... No way..." Germany muttered to himself in a horrified stupor."To think that he went to the heavens over something so stupid..."
"It's true he was wimpy and strange... but he wasn't a bad I had known this was going to happen, I would've been nicer to him." said Ludwig his voice wracked with grief.
Germany sunk to his knees, the gravity of the situation hitting him like a ton of bricks. His best friend Feliciano was dead!
"Italy..." Germany cried his eyes stinging with the onslaught of tears "Itallly!" Germany screamed out to the heavens in devastation as tears of sorrow streamed down his face.
Now, it could be said that Ludwig was not appreciative of his friendship with Italy, nothing could be further from the truth. But it could easily be said That Germany on many occasions was irked by the redheaded Italian's lazy and cowardly nature at times. While Ludwig precise, by the book military man, Italy much rather preferred to eat his precious pasta or paint pictures and take siestas. Still, no matter how often Italy had made Germany angry by skipping his training or being too slow or too weak, Germany cared for Italy very much. He had only yelled and scolded Italy in order to help him and protect him. Sadly, Germany failed to do even that, and now he was gone forever. The very thought had wracked Germany's mind with guilt. What would he do now, without the cheerful, happy-go-lucky Italy to stand by his side no matter what? As much as Germany loathed to admit it he would deeply miss the little Italian's hugs and have him looking up at him smiling with adoration in his bright, hazel eyes. Germany sat on the ground crying silently to himself, mourning the loss of his dear little Italian, whom without his life would never be the same.
For what seamed like an eternity Germany sat in that same spot not daring to move. Finally, the tears subsided and he stood up and decided to walk home where he would proceed to drown his sorrows with beer in the hopes to drive the memory of this horrible day from his brain. As Germany walked through the forest on his way home he swore he heard someone yelling in the distance:
"Help!Someone please help I'm stuck!" the voice cried out.
"Huh? That sounded like Italy! but, it can't be he's.. he's dead!" Germany said to himself. Germany shook his head in order to clear his thoughts."Get a grip on yourself Ludwig! You're hearing things!" Germany chided himself
. Germany went to continue to head back home when he heard another desperate cry:
"Help me! I'm stuck! I can't get down! Doitsu!" the voice once again yelled out.
Germany blinked in disbelief. "Italy?" Ludwig said not quite sure that he hadn't lost his mind due to shock of today's event. He looked arround wildly in hopes of seeing his supposedly deceased friend.
"Italy! Where are you are you ok?" Germany called out into the forrest.
"Doitsu?" Italy yelled out in surprise"Germany Up here!I'm trapped in the tree!" The auborn haioed man yelled out.
Hearing Feliciano's shouting Germany looked up to see his friend up in the tallest tree limb dangling precariously from the limb by his pants. Germany let out a sigh of relief, overjoyed that his dear friend was in fact, very much alive
.
"Italy your alive! How did you survive that launch?" Germany shouted up to Italy.
"I'm not sure!" Italy cried back. "One minute, I'm soaring through the air, and the next thing I know I'm in a tree! Please get me down fom here Doitsu I'm scared!" Feliciano cried flailing his arms in a panic.
Germany gasped and replied: "Don't panic Feliciano! Just hold on I'll save you."
Rolling up his sleeves Germany marched up to the tree Italy was trapped in with a look of determination. Slowley but surely Ludwig climed up the tree to Italy, ignoring the rough bark of the tree and the tree branches poking and scracthing at the German man. When Ludwig at last made it to Feliciano, he grabbed the Italian man, and untangled his pants from the tree branch. Getting a firm grip on Italy he positioned him on to his back and instructed the young Italian to hold on tight. Not needing to be told twice, Italy clung close to the German man's back burrying his face in Ludwig's muscular shoulder. Taking great care not to drop his companion or slip and fall, Germany made his way down the tree and to the ground. As soon as both nations feet were planted firmly on the ground, Germany proceeded to berate his friend:
"Mein Gott Italy! I can not believe you had a verdamn ejector seat installed into the kubelwagon! Are you crazy? What on earth were you thinking?" Germany roared at his companion.
Italy looked into the blonde man's face and gulped with fear.
"Umm.. well.." Italy stammered " I-I was just trying to help! Please don't be mad Doitsu!"
Germany looked at Italy incredulously "You think that launching yourself into the sky is helping?" Ludwig thundered. "You could have been killed! Why, you didn't even have a parachute!"
Italy's face brightened" I know I'll just have Mr. Giuliani add a parachute to the seat! That's a good idea, isn't Ludwig?" asked Italy in an attempt to pacify the angry German standing before him.
At hearing the Italian scientist's name, Germany's face darkened into an enraged scowl. It was clear to the blonde that his companion was not grasping the gravity of his mistake.
"Add a parachute to the seat..? Nien!Absolutely not!" Ludwig roared. With a determained frown on his face, Germany undid his belt buckle and slowely removed it.
"It is clear to me Italy, that you are not comprehending the seriousness of your actions!" Said Germany folding his belt in half he approached the Italian. " I think it is time I teach you the consequences for your recklessness."
Italy gulped fearfully as he looked at the belt in Germany's hand. "Vee! y-you're not going to spank me are you?" Italy asked nervously, unconsciously taking a step back from his companion.
"What do you think, Italy?" Germany replied, continuing to approach the redhead belt in hand.
Italy shaking with fear looked at his watch "W-well! look at the time I think I better get home and fix my fratello dinner! Graze for saving me!" Italy stammered out, suddenly the Italian began to retreat not wishing to be spanked. But before Feliciano could get far a hand grabbed his collar and roughly jerked him back.
"Oh, no you don't Italy!" growled Germany grabbing the man firmly by the waist. "I am going to teach you a lesson in what happens when you fool around with things you don't understand!"
"Ahh! Germany! Please don't spank me! I'm sorry! I promise not to modify your car again! Please let me go!" Italy begged.
His cries for mercy fell on deaf ears as Germany carried Italy over to a fallen log. Sitting down he put Feliciano over his lap and pulled down the Italian's pants and underwear exposing his pert tanned posterior. Lifting up the belt, Germany swiftly let the belt strike Italy's exposed behind. Italy cried out in shock and pain as the first blow landed. Italy hardly had time to react when Germany began swatting his butt landing blow after blow. Italy began crying and started squirming in the German's grip trying in vain' to escape the stinging blows. Germany however, held on tight to the Italy and continued to land blows on the young man's butt.
"Wah! Germany! Please stop! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm sorry!" Italy cried out, his face red from crying.
Satisfied, that Italy had learned his lesson, he gave the auburn headed man's reddened butt a few more swats, and he stopped. Germany dropped the belt and readjusted Italy's pants. Then, Ludwig pulled the crying Italian into a warm embrace as Feliciano continued to cry from the spanking.
"Shh. It's alright it's over." Germany soothed, rubbing Italy's back up in down in a comforting manor. After a while Italy's crying slowly subsided until he could no longer cry gasping for breath from all the sobbing. Gently pulling Italy away from him so the redhead could face his friend, Germany lifted Italy's chin up so he was looking him in the eyes.
"Look, Italy I know right now you think I spanked you just to be a jerk, but I didn't!" Germany explained earnestly to his companion. "I only did it to insure you'll listen more often! When I saw you fly off into the sky, I was devastated. I thought that my only friend was gone for good!"
Italy eye's widened in surprised. "Really Germany? I made you sad? I'm sorry! I just wanted to prove that I wasn't useless!" cried Italy feeling guilty for making his BFF worry.
Germany smiled at his friend.
"It's allright, just think before you do something so rash! You make me worry so much!" Germany told Italy.
Italy returned the smile and replied "Don't worry Doitsu! I'll be more careful and I won't have your car modified ever again! I promise!"
"You had better or not, for if you do, you'll get another spanking!" Germany warned Italy.
Italy suddenly jumped up from the German's lap grabbing at his smarting behind to shield it.
"EEP! I promise never again! How about we pinky swear on it?" Italy cried holding out his hand pinky extended.
Chuckling at the Italian, Germany extended his pinky and hooked it with Italy's in a pinky swear.
"You know what Italy? This has been one hell of day. How about we go home and you can make some dinner, you can even make pasta if you want." Ludwig Suggested.
At hearing that he was allowed to make his favorite dish, Feliciano's eyes lit up with glee.
"Really? Doitsu? YAY! Let's go, I'll even make you some pasta with wurst that I'll know you'll love!" Italy replied grabbing Germany by the wrist, he proceeded to drag the German towards his home.
"Wait a minute hold on we don't have to run!" Germany yelled, as his companion continued to drag him to his house eager to start cooking his favorite food.
As the two nations walked home hand in hand, Germany smiled at Italy vowing to himself to be nicer to his friend, thanking whatever god or deity that he had not lost him. Despite all the drama, today turned out to be an ok day after all.