Hi! This was from a quotes challenge, and its Oscar Wilde. I really hope you like it, please review! xx
'One's real life is often the life that one does not lead'
Naboo is mid-bounce when he hears the echo of a shout. He flops down onto the bouncy castle, tutting as his turban falls at a jaunty angle on his head. Glancing up he sees Vince and Howard sitting precariously on the roof, Vince's hair shimmering in the night and Howard looking miserable.
Naboo let out a nasty laugh, making a mental note to collect twenty pounds from Bollo. He knew that one hadn't had any action. You could see it from his twitchy movements, the way he glanced at Vince and then looked away quickly.
Bollo lumbered out of the back door and Naboo gestured at him to keep his voice down. Bollo nodded and clambered onto the castle, Naboo being tossed about like a little sailboat on an ocean wave.
The moon gazed curiously on the scene, wondering why that girl hadn't invited him to her party; that was a bit selfish. Just because he was a natural satellite didn't mean he didn't like a popper or two.
The two, slightly swaying, very stoned inhabitants of the bouncy castle were transfixed at the action, Bollo murmuring this was 'better than movie'. Dennis looked quite frightening, waving a sword about.
Naboo rolled his eyes. Vince better had not been knocking about with his wife; it was better to stay clear of her, after all, who could resist an extreme sports model? Remembering last summer he smiled fondly and lay back, planning to see how this would all pan out.
At Vince's echoing excuse the Moon frowned; he would have taken the sword option over being in love with that.
Naboo blinked, rubbed his eyes comically, then blinked again. 'How much 'av I 'ad, Bollo?' he murmured. 'I'm seeing things'.
Bollo sat up. 'Precious Vince has lowered standards,' he said crossly.
Naboo laughed, then looked back up, his face sliding into a grimace. 'Didn't need to see that,' he said quietly.
Dennis disappeared, and the three observers were left with an awkward tableau.
Naboo made a face at Howard's ramblings. Where was he going with this? Bollo put his head in his hands, and the Moon contemplated an early eclipse.
As 'Love' echoed off the roof, Naboo glanced up and tilted his head, listening very intently.
'Me and you, all the arguing…'
Naboo nodded to himself.
'...the molten sexual tension...'
Naboo wasn't sure if it was the drugs, the sexual thrill of exposing himself at the party, or the gentle silver rays of the moon, but he was starting to agree with Howard. It did sort of make sense.
At 'a whole new kingdom of gaydom' Naboo frowned. That wasn't the right thing to say. 'Gay' wasn't a kingdom, and Howard knew Vince had never really grasped the idea of a metaphor.
Motioning to Bollo they both stood shakily and climbed off the bouncy castle, giggling like little kids.
The Moon wondered what a massive gayist was. Maybe he could become one. Maybe he was one.
At hearing the shout and seeing Howard and Vince bouncing happily up and down on the castle, Naboo gestured to Bollo to hide in the shadows. This was better than T.V.
Suddenly, everything changed, as if they were on a tight schedule. Everything was taken back, everything was a joke. The masks came back on and everyone took a step back.
At the unfolding events, Naboo frowned. No, this wasn't how it was supposed to go.
The Moon tutted. Love was forever. As a newly proud massive gayist he wanted to see those two together.
Bollo, despite his tough exterior, saw how hurt Vince really was. Besides, he had liked the look of that American girl. She wouldn't suit Howard.
The morning after and people, frantically trying to flattern their hair down, were making their way home, staggering a little and whining about the light.
Upstairs in a room with sequin wallpaper, was Vince, fast asleep and burrowed under the covers, a foot hanging out the side. A pile of clothes was arranged artfully on a chair, shoes were haphazardly flung everywhere and there was glitter all over the floor from the birthday card he had made the day before. He stirred, frowning as the light from the gap in the blinds hit his face. Vince rolled over, opened in his eyes, smiled, and stretched. He looked to his right, and, very quickly, his face fell. Vince stroked his hair in a gesture of comfort, breathed out, and then pulled the covers over his head.
To the right of Vince was Howard, contained in a corner full of calming khaki mists and caramel sands. He was dozing fitfully, his hands neatly folded in front of him and his fingers just underneath the covers. Every time he breathed out a stray curl moved across his forehead, like a little metronome. His wall had a pinboard nestling amongst the sequins, filled with carefully arranged bookmarks, a ticket stub from the zoo and a peacock feather. Someone shouting about 'the crunch!' outside woke Howard up, and he frowned as he sat up, looking around for his watch. Checking the time and looking for his dressing gown, he glanced to his left. Howard's face softened.
Naboo was wondering why the flat was littered with twister spinners when he had yet to see a single mat. Tutting, he moved towards the kettle, yawned twice in succession, and watched as Howard slouched into the room.
'How did it go with that girl?' he asked, a little snidely.
Howard looked up, fearful. 'Oh, he…she wasn't what she seemed,' he said, shuddering and peering around the room suspiciously.
Naboo frowned, but moved to find his favourite mug. The little green frog, caught forever in a frozen painted grimace, never failed to make him smile. 'I saw you two you know' he continued, keeping his gaze firmly on topping up his mug with milk. Better not to try eye-contact, it only made him worse.
Howard's mouth gaped. 'Um, me?'
'Yes,' sighed Naboo, frowning and moving to get a tea-towel as milk sloshed over the brim of his mug. 'You and Vince, on the roof', he finished, meaningfully.
Howard went red and patted his arm anxiously. 'Oh,' he said, lamely.
'Yeah, what was going on there?' asked Naboo, finally turning around and fixing Howard with a powerful stare.
'Nothing, sir,' stammered Howard. 'Just saving Vince from that nutcase mate of yours.'
'Well Vince shouldn't go copping off with his missus, should he?' questioned Naboo, crossing his ankles and sipping his tea.
'He didn't!' said Howard, a little too quickly. 'He didn't,' he repeated, trying to sound casual. Naboo raised an eyebrow.
'Whatever,' he sighed. 'Go and get Vince up, then.'
'I've… um, got to go out,' said Howard, moving past Naboo and sitting on the couch, his eyes fixed on the floor.
Naboo sighed. 'Fine.'
'Vince' said Naboo, tugging at the covers.
'Mmmgdsf,' said Vince.
'You better be shifting,' Naboo said, assertively. 'There's a lot of mess to clean up.'
Vince murmured quietly. It sounded like 'make Howard do it'.
'Speaking of Howard,' said Naboo, slyly. 'What was going on with you two last night? Howard said you nearly got yourself decapitated'.
Vince's head appeared from underneath the covers, his face flushed and his eyes wide. 'Nothing,' he said, quickly. 'I mean, yeah, he saved me.'
Naboo nodded slowly. 'So the kissing was…?'
Vince thought, his brow furrowing. 'Part of the plan,' he supplied, lamely.
'You do realise that if you had just explained the situation, he would have let you go?' said Naboo.
'I tried!' exclaimed Vince, nodding earnestly. 'He didn't believe me, and Howard was just going 'yeah' in this monotone. I had to convince him. Even I couldn't pull off being separated from my body. How would I do my hair? Well maybe like those big dolls head things, you know, with the tacky make-up, so I could sort of do it like that, but how would I see? Could I tell myself what do? Maybe I could hire someone to help, but would they be as good as me? I don't think they would be to be honest; it needs a gentle but firm touch.'
Naboo coughed.
Patting his hair in reassurance, Vince drifted back to the topic at hand. 'Howard was just helping me out - as a friend.'
Naboo raised an eyebrow, and Vince went a bit pink. 'What about that girl, after?'
'Oh,' said Vince. 'She was Leroy's date, and she was looking for him. Although, they didn't hit it off; would you be interested?'
Naboo, lost in thought himself, suddenly shook his head. 'Anyway. I was just checking you were alright, I mean, after kissing Howard, I would need the morning off…' Naboo laughed quietly, but stopped when he saw Vince's dazed, dreamy-eyed face.
'Vince,' he said, flicking his hand in front of his glassy eyes. 'Oh,' he said to himself. Naboo left Vince to his sighing and hair-twirling and knocked on the bathroom door. Bollo opened the door, moaning with the hangover from hell.
'Enough moaning, Bollo,' said Naboo, firmly. 'I need you to fetch that pendant'.
Bollo rolled his eyes, but went to get it. 'Why you need pendant?' he asked, curiously.
'You'll see,' said Naboo.
Naboo held the pendant up to the light, tapped the Jade stone three times, swirled his hand dramatically around it, danced a two-step, and murmured a mystical-sounding chant.
'That part of spell?' questioned Bollo, deeply in awe.
'Nah, just for effect, innit,' said Naboo, spinning the pendant in a circle, three times. The world started to spin.
The garden was dimly lit by a faltering candle, brought outside by a guest. A smouldering cigarette lingered in an ashtray, left on the back step. The music from upstairs could be heard, sounding like it was echoing from the heavens. If you listened very intently you could hear a person declaring their sense of outrage. A young woman came out, but was yanked into a corner and escorted out of the premises by a large gorilla who, on her exit, offered his phone number as compensation. Another girl, busy texting on her phone also stepped out, but she was persuaded to take a walk with an attractive young Shaman who promised her a ride on his magic carpet. Not sure if it was a euphemism, but beyond caring, the girl coyly smiled and followed him. Behind the tree and past the small heap of bin bags, one with a dangerous looking needle poking out, was a pink and blue bouncy castle, with its two tenants lying inside, flat on their backs.
'So,' said Vince, beaming as he rested his head back onto the castle.
'So,' said Howard, twisting and smiling back at him.
'What does being a 'massive gayist' mean, then?' asked Vince, slyly.
Howard went red. 'Um, it's more a lifestyle choice, Vince' he said, a little shakily.
'Right' nodded Vince. 'And the Kingdom of Gaydom…?'
Howard thought, his brow furrowing. 'It's a magical place, Vince,' he said, finally.
'Like Disneyland?' asked Vince, hopefully.
'Not so much, little man,' replied Howard.
'Oh' said Vince, sadly. He touched his hair, resting his arm near Howard's head. After a short pause, Vince continued; 'Can we go to Disneyland, Howard?'
'Maybe,' sighed Howard, imagining Vince dancing about, off his tits on sugar and Minnie Mouse.
'It's so beautiful isn't it?' Vince said softly, admiring how the navy sky sparkled with hundreds of little twinkly stars.
'Yeah,' breathed Howard, slowly reaching over and taking Vince's hand without looking directly at him.
Vince smiled, and squeezed his hand briefly. 'I wish I knew about the stars. I tried to ask them once, but the Moon kept interfering at saying I was taking his friends away from him'.
Howard shook his head in disbelief.
'Thanks for saving me,' said Vince, falteringly, his breath making little spirals in the cold night air.
'First time for everything, I suppose,' said Howard, feeling embarrassed.
'No, really,' said Vince. 'You went along with it and everything, and I...' Vince paused. 'I kinda stole your first kiss, didn't I?'
Howard opened his mouth, but he didn't know what to say so he closed it again.
Vince's face flashed with disappointment. 'Yeah, so…sorry about that'.
Howard peered into the sky, mistaking the easyJet to Bangkok for a comet.
Vince made a small huffing noise and sat up, fluffing his hair.
Howard looked up at him, at his high cheekbones and striking eyes. Vince really was too pretty for a man.
'Do you want to go in now?' Vince asked, quietly, looking at the back door. 'Back to reality and that?'
Howard felt his heart sink. He knew what he wanted to say, but it wasn't coming out right. 'No' he said, quickly. 'It's nice out here,' Howard gestured, then rubbed his neck self-consciously. 'Stay with me?'
Vince looked at Howard, his head tilted before he nodded and lay back down.
'So, how does it feel to be fifty?' Vince asked, with a cheeky smile as he turned on his side to face Howard.
'Hush your lips, you cheeky minx,' murmured Howard, making Vince flush. 'I'm a spring chicken.'
Vince rolled his eyes and grinned. 'Whatever, ya old codger,' he mumbled.
'Less of the old,' said Howard, nudging Vince and making him bounce a little on the castle.
Vince's hair swished into his face and he blew it away, annoyed. Howard reached over and tucked it gently behind his ear. Vince caught his gaze and smiled a very small smile, his eyes a little worried.
'So, what else have you got planned for my birthday' he asked, smiling, 'first you invite a room full of strangers, then you – well, I told everyone - then you nearly get yourself killed...'
Vince laughed, 'Well, you won't forget it will you?'
Howard nodded. 'I hope so - its all right for you. You show up, twinkle about for a bit, steal the show - its part of the Vince Noir experience'. This came out angrier than Howard expected, but he needed to get it out. His birthday had been hijacked.
Vince looked hurt. 'I just wanted to make it fun,' he explained. 'I don't mean to take things over, it just sort of happens.'
Howard heard Vince's voice go quiet as he trailed off; he didn't want him to be unhappy. 'Well on your birthday, little man,' he began, shuffling a little closer to Vince and seeing his eyes widen, 'it's going to be jazz all the way. Yes, sir!'
Vince made a face of horror.
'Yes', continued Howard, proudly. 'I taped a special documentary the other day, 'specially, all about the use of lutes in 1940's bebop. We can show it to the guests!' Vince, not sure if this was a joke or not, smiled faintly.
'Maybe in a different room, so people can fully appreciate it,' Vince said, nodding convincingly. 'What about if we watch the stars again?' Vince held up his hand as if to catch one, and lazily moved it back and forth. 'And we can make a wish?'
Howard murmured an agreement, knowing what he would wish for.
Vince brought his hand back down and shifted, moving his head onto Howard's shoulder.
Howard moved his arm up and gently stroked Vince's hair. 'It's my birthday,' he teasingly reminded Vince, expecting a whine of protest. Instead, Vince just made a small noise of contentment, making Howard's heart flutter, and he moved in closer.
After a moment Vince brought his head up, capturing Howard's hand and holding it tightly. He looked at him, his hair all messy and falling into his face. He smiled.
Howard sat up too, his face coming very close to Vince's. Vince's breath hitched in his throat.
'Is this what you were taking about earlier?' he said, trying to sound light and casual.
'What?' said Howard, quietly, stroking Vince's fingers with his own. Vince's mind went blank.
'The, um, tension,' he said, suddenly remembering.
Howard smirked. Vince felt his heartbeat race. Howard rarely smirked.
'I hope so,' he said, moving in closer still.
'Oh,' said Vince. 'Very...' He faltered. 'Molten.'
Howard laughed and pulled Vince to his feet, wobbling a little.
They just looked at each other. Passing contagious smiles back and forth and swinging their linked hands slightly. Vince started to bounce, giggling as he kept losing his footing and holding tightly onto Howard's arm. Howard moved so their joined hands were outstretched, and they jumped together, in time.
'I can jump higher!' shouted Vince, bending his knees and looking strangely serious.
'You're jumping just to my height!' shouted Howard, jumping higher than Vince and earning a sly poke in the ribs.
Howard let go to push Vince back, and Vince, unbalanced, fell to the floor, his other arm dragging Howard down with him.
'Ooof,' he said, as Howard landed on top of him.
Howard went pink and made to move, but Vince quickly leant up and kissed him. He moved back onto his elbows and looked up anxiously at Howard, biting his bottom lip.
Howard paused for a moment, his expression dazed, then he slowly ducked his head and kissed Vince very softly. Vince felt his whole body rush, and he smiled against Howard's mouth. The he pulled back and rested their foreheads together.
'I think I'm a bit in love with you, Howard Moon,' he said, quietly.
'Really?' asked Howard, stroking Vince's cheek.
'So, this is it? We're really going to do this, be together?' Howard said, almost to himself, sounding a little dazed.
Vince nodded, and kissed Howard's neck.
'Thank-you,' he said, suddenly, looking up with a cheeky smile.
Howard was confused.
Vince laughed at Howard's face. 'For the gift of LOVE!' he shouted, jumping to his feet and posing dramatically.
'Right!' said Howard, jumping up and lunging at Vince. 'That's enough from you, Vince. I see I'm going to have to shut you up'.
The moon frowned and looked away, hearing an echoed 'Oh, Howard, I seem to have fallen down, and my top has come off as well. Can you help me with it?'
Oh, thought the Moon, his eyes widening. Is that what being a massive gayist meant? Better give it a miss then.