Cas was dead. Three damn months had passed since that awful day at the lake. Dean was pretending that he was alright and enduring the loss of his best friend. But Sam and Bobby knew better. The hunters were worried sick about him.
Dean talked less, ate less and never smiled. He had lost weight and his eyes had lost the usual charming spark. He would have these black sacks under his eyes every morning as a proof of constant sleep deprivation.
"I don't know Bobby what we should do," Sam whispered to the old hunter one cloudy day, when he saw his brother with a bottle of beer heading towards the front door.
"We cannot do anything." Bobby shrugged and sighed. "Time should cure everything," he added with a bitter smile. They were still shocked after Cas' death. The hunters even did not ask Dean where he was going. They already knew.
The rain started to fall in heavy drops. He pushed the gates of the reservoir open, stepped forward and paused. Dean closed his eyes, tilted his head back and inhaled sharply. It smelled of earth, grass and… of missing. He opened his eyes and slowly sat down on the wet ground.
Rain drops were falling sorrowfully, creating circles on the water surface. Dean, already soaked to the bones kept looking at the lake. Every single day since his friend had gone he would come to this place with the dirty, beige trench coat in his hands. Today was no exception.
"Cas, you son of a bitch"… Dean murmured quietly, not discerning if it were the tears or rain drops rolling down his face. He pressed the coat tightly to his chest and buried his face in it. The material still smelled like his angelic friend. Few seconds later Dean raised his face and looked at the lake, which had become Castiel's grave.
"How could you do this?" Dean choked a sob and rocked back and forth. The answer never came. Black heavy clouds covered the sky like there was no hope for tomorrow. The air was thick and venomous, getting into every cell of the older Winchester's body with an evil laughter and hissing "He is gone!".
It was almost eleven at night when Sam received a text message from his brother, saying that he would not be coming home this night. The Winchesters called Bobby's house their home.
Dean opened the door of his room. It was small but not as shitty as the previous motels where the brothers usually stayed. Too exhausted to take wet clothes off Dean just fell down on the bed. He shivered and pulled the coat closer. Tiredness and stress took over and his eyes slowly closed, sinking him into oblivion.
It was cold in the room. Dean wondered why the temperature had changed so fast. He shifted and exhaled. The air came out in a white steam. His hands felt frozen. The hunter sat up and looked around. He saw a figure standing at the window in the shadows. The glass was covered with ice and lean finger was carving the most beautiful and unfamiliar patterns on it. Something was strange. Dean could feel it with his skin. The silence was deafening. There were no sounds coming from outside of the room.
"Hello Dean…"
The hunter felt how his hair stood on its end. This voice. There was no way in hell Dean could ever forget this voice.
"Cas?" Dean made a strangled noise and with shaking legs got up from his bed to walk towards the window.
The figure turned to him. The moonlight fell upon his face and Dean saw unearthly, purest blue eyes. "Come closer, Dean," said the soothing voice and Castiel smiled.
Dean choked a sob. "But…I thought…We thought…" he felt stinging in his eyes.
"Shhhh…" Castiel took Dean's hand. "Look in the window, Dean." The hunter obeyed.
Everything was white. It looked like God had covered everything with a huge, white blanket. Snowflakes fell in a strange dance under the yellow moonlight.
"Can you hear it, Dean?" Castiel asked almost inaudibly.
"Hear what, Cas?" Dean felt his body tremble. But he did not know what the reason was: shock, cold or all the emotions that overwhelmed him.
"The silence of snow. It is so beautiful." Castiel smiled at him, gently squeezed Dean's hand which he was still holding and looked through the window.
Dean woke up yelling Castiel's name. He held the trench coat in deathly grip. His heart was trying to explode. Whole the body was tensed and covered in sweat. His clothes were still wet from rain. Dean looked at the clock. It was 4:45. The hunter rubbed his face and let out a groan of a wounded animal.
"You can catch cold if you sleep in wet clothes," sounded a deep voice.
Dean felt how he stopped breathing and his mouth went dry. He turned towards the window where the voice came from. The hunter quickly reached out and turned the bedside lamp on. Few steps away from him, the reason of his worries was standing.
Dean got up and with violently shaking legs walked towards him. "Cas?" he asked in a broken voice. His hand was shaking violently when he reached out and touched the angel's cheek.
"Yes, Dean it is me," Castiel smiled.
"But how?" Dean could not control either his voice or the treacherous tears, that were now rolling down his face.
"I do not know. Maybe someone does not want me dead," Castiel said softly and gave his friend a look, full of warmth.
And it was when Dean lost it. He grabbed Castiel and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. He did not give a fuck that he wept and sobbed like a mourning widow. All pent-up stress and unshed tears were leaving him drop by drop. Castiel was returning the hug with a soothing voice and patting his back.
"It's alright , Dean. I am here now."
Dean looked at him and grabbed his shoulders. "It's not enough, Cas. You have to promise me something. You hear me? It is not enough!"
"Anything, Dean, if I can." Castiel put two fingers under Dean's chin and lifted his face.
Dean slowly nodded. "You must promise me, Cas that you will never leave me again!"
Castiel smiled. "I promise you, Dean. I will not leave again."
Dean returned the smile.
Castiel wiped the tears off Dean's face and added, "And I will promise you one more thing, Dean."
Dean looked at him quizzically and asked with a hoarse voice, "What would that be, Cas?"
Castiel kissed his forehead and whispered, " I promise that we will listen to the silence of snow together someday."