Headphones, my navy blue jacket, a bed, and my dark soul. Yes, just what I needed. After all, it's what was left with me. I just stay here, my left arm pressing against my wet eyelids; Trying to get over my brother is not easy. It never was.
The scene could have never been so clear. I was there, in front of the college building, engaged with growing flames and scorched bodies left inside. I stood there, waiting, just waiting for him to get out with that damned professor. The thing that arrived first was an explosion.
"TADASHI!" I screamed then, and I screamed now. I just can't get the aching feeling out of my chest even if I yelled at the top of my lungs. I began to feel my sleeve stain with my tears, just letting my emotions flow for my dead brother.
I heard the muffled squeaking of rubber, meaning my voice was so loud and distressful that even a robot could have heard it. I removed my arm from my face and stood, revealing my puffy read eyes and disheveled hair to the marshmallow looking nurse. Baymax stood at the side of my bed, blinking narrowly at me. He didn't seem to do anything until I actually looked at him.
"I heard the sound of distress. What seems to be the problem?" He spoke blankly, like any other robot would. I sniffed but didn't answer him back. He reminded me too much of Tadashi.
"On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?" He asked once again, showing to me ten faces ranged from relaxed to tormented on his chest. "Physically, 0. You could shrink now" I told him, wiping my snot out of my nose. He didn't seem convinced. Ironically, I felt for a moment that Baymax actually seemed... concerned.
He asked again. "On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?"
I sniffed, I coughed, and my face started to distort as I began to sob. I wrapped my arms around him as I did, squishing him will all the physical strength I had left in me. I disregarded all my other robots because Tadashi was the one who helped me with them. Tadashi was the one who gave me the ideas. And now they are all broken, because I refuse to be reminded of the brother that once was in the other corner of the room smiling at me as I programmed them knowing that I will become like him someday.
I just continued to gasp on his surface, feeling him return the hug as well telling me that it's okay to cry. It definitely is okay to cry. But it's not okay to feel a hug that I wanted to receive from Tadashi rather than his robot.
I feel him patting my head, the way Tadashi would. It just made the tears flow easier, and more often. Then he asked me again.
"On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?"
I gasped, I sniffed, I whimpered, and then I answered. "Eleven..."