"Oh Scoobs, when we get to Jamaica we will buy the whole island!" said Shaggy in demonstration of his exceptional excitement over possessing money.
"But first we will donate to science!" said Velma, coins stuck in her nose, so she snorted like a pig.
"You fools are too lower minded!" said Daphne indignantly, "We must buy all the fashions in the world!"
"Chill out guys, there is gold enough for everyone!" said Fred happily, he was focusing on the road so he must prmmote inner peace and calmness lest the beast of war condemnt them to a thousand broken bones.
"You are correct, we musn't let out petty differences split us apart from the coin!" said Velma wisely.
So they went in their merry way happily to the gas station. Unknown to them, however, an evil and ugly pink haired monstrosity was following them around...LEWIS!
"You FOOLS, you shall pay for assassinating me you FOOLS!" he said meanly and raspily, like a cherry of condemned butts.
Lightning came from his hands, and the Mystery Inc. van began to eletrocute! Velma's hair got up with the stactic, Scooby began to bleed from the ears, Daphne's boobs lactated cheese and Fred and Shaggy got boners, which in the middle of the metal hurt a lot.
"Ugh, you perveteds cannot control your animalistic emotions!" shriked Daphne madly, "Fred, we stop the car in the gas station NOW!"
"Yes my dearest!" said Fred scaredly, he did not wish to risk the scornful wrath of Daphne's period.
They stopped in the gas station, where there was Mystery Skulls. Arthur, the golden haired metal boy, was filling the tank with black oil from dinosaur's bones.
"Oh boy Mystery, I cannot help but feeling a black hole of purple dimensions inside my womanly young heart!" confessed Vivi sadly, stroking her dog's mutant dye hair as she thought about the ghost, "I am merely a love interest in the hands of fate, my boobies solely to be objectified by men."
She then began to shake her titties hornily, and Mystery got very sick, because dog doesn't fuck owner. So he vomited his lunch, a foul mixture of chinese noodles, sushi, car tires, babies' souls and elephant vaginas and nails, tainting Vivi's booboos with eternal disdain, ruining her shirt.
"Oh Mystery, why you do that!? Now I have to change shirts, damnit!"
"Oh yes Vivi, change your shirt!" said Arthur pervely and evilly, licking his licks like a starved demon tiger of meth.
"Oh, that is alright, I have an extra shirt!" said Velma, who was overhearing the commotion.
"Oh, thank you, you are very kind" Vivi said, picking the shirt.
Arthur much disliked, so he gave Velma the black eye. He had to kill that wench, but how?
"Do you want to meet my friends?" Velma asked to Vivi.
"Sure, don't we Mystery and Arthur?" Vivi asked to her friends.
The two nodded in fake enthusiasm, but they all went anyway.
"Vivi, this is Daphne, Fred, Scooby and Shaggy" Velma introduced.
"Nice to meet you Vivi!" said the others happily.
"Pleasure to meet you as well! These are my friends, Arthur and my dog Mystery. We had another friend, my boyfriend Lewis, but he got dead" she said sadly.
"Oh my god that's terrible!" said Daphne sympathetically, putting her nail polished hand on Vivi's shoulder.
"Eh, so what, people die all the time" Saggy said boredly.
"sHAGGY, THAT'S VERY UNSENSITIVE!" said Velma and Daphne, kicking each of his testicles with one of their feet. Twice.
"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH YOU CRAZY WHORES DO YOU WANT ME TO GET PROSTATE CANCER!?" he yelled in madly.
"It's okay everyone, I don't want to talk about it" said Vivi.
"Rinner!" said Scooby stupidly.
"That's right Scooby, we can go have dinner in that gas station!" said Velma wisely.
"Ugh, that place is so unfashionable!" disdained Daphne.
"That's okay, I know a few ways to make it both fashionable and science!" said Vivi.
So the girls went to talk, when unknowingly Lewis was spying from the bushes.
"Oh dearest Vivi, my unlawful seperation from your pussy shall be ammended soon!" cackled Lewis revengedly and misogynistically.
Arthur, Shaggu, Scooby, Mystery and Fred went with the women, but they walked a meter behind in order to discuss male topics:
"How about we rape them?" Arthur suggested?
"That's a good idea bro, I've always disdained Velma the glass pussied one and Daphne the prick!" cackled Shaggy evilly and dudebroly.
"Yeah bros, lets plan a way to violate their inner most sanctums!" cackled Fred nerdily.
"Shut up Fred, you dumb faggot!" said Arthur and Shagg meanly and imageboardly.
Fred lower his head in sad, but followed with the plan, because he too was fedora wearing. Mystery didn't like that very much, he needed to preserve the hymen of the Vivi that he spared by possessing Arthur and killing Lewis.
"Scorbs, we need to come up with a plan to defeat the devil perv men!" Mystery urged urgently.
"Rooby Rnacks! HIHIHI!" giggled Scooby Doo stupidly and idiotically.
Mystery got tired, so he grabbed the dalmatian deutch dane dog's necks and strangulated him with his kumiho jaws, snapping it and killing him, then eating his flesh in order to absord his chi.
"I wonder where Scooby went" Shaggy wondered all of a sudden.
"Oh, he went to the bathroom, nothing to see" said Mystery telepatically and nervously.
"Oh, okay" Shaggy accepted happily.
So they all went, and Lewis followed. He too wanted to rape Vivi, and now he had the chance to do that and kill his heteronormative homophobic competitors cishets. He possed the diner lights, and they all turned pink with hatred.
"Ew now this place is flamingo queer!" said the truckers unhappily, killing themselves in suicidal mania.
Vivi, Velma and Daphne much liked, pink was the dawn's lovely hue as it shortens our days and puts us one step closer to death. They picked the one table where there was less trucker gore.
"Good evening, what will you desire?" said an evil blonde mega boob waiter lady like the place was hooters or something.
"Oh, I want some potato chips and chilli sauce!" said Velma.
"I want some hamburgers with salad prickles" said Daphne with disdain and envy of the chests.
"I want hotdogs and turkey sandwiches with mayonaise and ten bacon cakes?" requested Vivi.
"I want your milk!" said Fred pervily.
Everyone else kicked him in the nuggets, and the boys ordered the same as the girls, except for the salad pickles because vegetables was for the healthy and the beautiful, which they are NOT. From the lights Lewis devil ghost eyes looked, waiting for the right moment.
"So, how many mysteries have you guys solved?" asked Daphne as she gorged on hambugers like a pig.
"Oh, some seventy. We got 68 done before my boyfriend died" said Vivi sadly, burrying her face in mayonaise.
"We've been in a thousand cases, but I guess it's because we've been around longer" Velma said, with sauce in her nostrils.
Arthur and Shaggy and Fred grinned evilly at each other, preparing for RAPE, but Mystery didn't allow, he used his satanic Shinto fox powers to instill unrest in the gril's bowels.
"Oh, I think I need to go to the bathroom!" Daphne said, before she barfed her digested pickles in Shaggy's eyelids.
Shaggy's eyelids got decayed and purple, they shrivelled like jerky beef and fell off. His eyes became vermillion red as the acids entered, and they exploded. Just as that happened, Vivi released a massive torrent of rotten elephant turd from her bowels, being projected into the ceiling like a rocket and getting stuck there, brown anus chocolate raining down upon her friends, but especially on Fred, the boy whose hair was once the sun but now was the earth. Lewis much disliked, he didn't want to see his cumbucket ruined by poo, so he got MAD and pink flames began going everywhere!
"Oh no, some pyrotechnics must be going on and they scratch my vagina!" Velma said, but her labia burned and evaporated.
"No, it's the devil ghost of the Lewis!" Arthur confessed, so frightened that he expelled noxious fartal gases from his anus, that melted off Frad's face.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH MY FACE IS PURE WHITE BONE!" cried the puto horny boy, but everyone did not care.
"My boyfrined was the GHOST ALL ALONG!?" cried Vivi with jubilation in her sordid shit river ass.
"Yes, it was I my beloved!" Lewis' echo voice was heard, "When we looked at the cave, Arthur the jealously KILLED ME, so ever since I got blue balls until you went to the mansion! I almost got a taste of your pussy again, but then the tangerine hair man STOLE YOU AGAIN! And now your vagina is made of shit! My undead life is ruined forever!"
"I thought you loved me you bastard!" cried Vivi, who understood that her so called boyfriend only wanted pussy sex.
Mystery looked, the situation was getting out of hand. He pondered on whereas to reveal his kumiho foxy powers, but then he saw Arthur's demon mind conceiving a devil plan.
"Lewis, let us forget out misguidance past, and make ammends for the future! Use your undead zombie powers to help us RPAE THE GIRLS!"
Lewis thought a bit. He hated Arthur a lot until then, but he gave such a wonderous idea that he began to reconsider. Maybe he should return to his dudebro days and be honest about being a sexual parasite and reconnect with the patriarchy in a dudebro way that isn't homo.
"All is forgiven, bro!" he said, giving Arthur a punch in the shoulder.
"Aw yeah, let the fucking commence!" said Freddy with his skeleton head.
Lewis set him on fire, alive and suffering, restored Shaggu's eyes with pink holograms and did dudebro gestures to Arthur and Shaggy to demonstrate their emotional connection, whose sexual undertones would be redirected to unwilling uteruses. Everything was going bad, they took out their trousers, preparing to RAPE! And to make matters more the bad, the truckers turned into undead zombies, their cocks ejecting rotten semen that looked like gorgonzola cheese.
"Oh Velma, what shall we do!?" said Daphne, she killed ten truckers with her boomerang high heels, but she knew they were too many.
"I have an idea Daphne, but first lets take Vivi out of the roof!" said Velma, punching a trucker's skull and using his tongue to blind Arthur, who accidently fucked Shaggy ass.
"AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH STOP BEING HOMO FAG ARE YOU GAY OR WHAT!?" said Shaggy, punching Arthur, but missing and hitting a trucker instead.
Arthur tried to dislodge, but Shagg's ass was filled with bubblegum, so if he pulled out he might ended up without a dick. So he kept fucking, dislodging centuries of rotten cheesecake ostrich dung from the stoner's coccaine butt. Meanwhile, Velma jumped in the air and kicked two trucker's head off, sending them flying to the bar. But Lewis apparated and grabbed her!
"It is futile, orange dyke, your endometrium shall be filled with pink spuk and give birth to an army of a thousand demons! HAW HAW HAW!" cackled Lewis ghostly.
Vivi much disdained, her heart full of betrayal and fury, so she unleashed her bowels again, covering Lewis with more shit. Only this time, there was a rubber duck within the poo. That rubber duck got stuck in her ass ever since she was a lass, when she played around with her cousin in the tub and got into a russian roulette game, that ended up with her eternal constipation and with her cousin's brains blown out. For 24 years that plastic false bird only gave her pain, filling her intestines with shit with minimal possible release, but now that was about to pay off. Years upon years of shit buried Lewis, rotten and mouldy and full of worms and maggots and decomposing owl corpses, a green and liquid paste so foul that Shaggy's artificial pink eyes began to water and Arthur's melted off. In that dung, Lewis was momentarily imprisoned, allowing VAELMA to escape.
"Thanks sistah!" upvoted Velma the feminist.
Now with Lewis out of the way, Daphne and Velma had only a few minutes to get to the roof and free their sister before the demon dawn coloured geist got out of the poo. But Shaggi and his perpetually ass fucker Arthur weren't out of the way still!
"Ooooohhhh" moaned Shaggy, because his prostate was being triturated by Arthur's cock, "Where do you think you're going, pussy whores? You shall be my slaves!"
Just then, Mystery decided to intervene and reveal his true korean fox self!
"OFMG YOU'RE A KUMIHO!?" asked Vivi, the last chunks of her decades worth of excrement landing on her pet's glasses.
"Yes, I am, my beloved owner. Millenia ago I received a prophecy to protect the girl who would change the world, to keep her purity virginity and let no man soil her panties, and I've done my best to keep you out of Lewis' and Arthur's lustful dudebro patriarchy misogyny. All I want is for the world to be good, for all suffering to end, so mi lady, please fullfill your destiny while I sacrifice myself for the greater good!"
"Please, don't kill yourself Mystery!" cried Vivi motherly, for that is the right sentiment to have for one's own pets.
"Do not shed any more tears, Vivi, I must accomplish my own destiny to save your own. Now please, heal this broken world."
And with those last words, Mystery shoved himself up Arthur's ass, head first. It was horredeus and full of nitroglicerine and tangerine scented caramel poop, tears of BLOOD run down his eyes as they were destroyed by the citrine shit acids, but he must go on, he must lend his strength to Vivi, his adopted daughter of generations, a father's love for his forever virginal and never slut descendent in spirit. Alas, he closed his eyes, and his head burst in kinetic flames, utterly obliterating Arthur's torso and sending his spine flying off, stabbing the boob whore waitress in her heart, a tragic but just reminder of one's duty to her purity and virginity and never having kids or STDs, the latter she was full of, especially herpes. Shaggy the demon stoner one was very made, Arthur's penis remained lodged in his butt and kept fucking him.
Velma and Daphne took advantage of the confusion, and used their sisterhood powers to jump to the roof and try to free Vivi, but them Lewis appeared, and Arthur's GOAST!
"Now, what do you say, bro?" Said Lewis pervely, licking his skull lips with his imaginary tongue made of pure marmalade.
"Let's fuck then!" grinned Arthur meanly, his facial was not a skeleton like Lewis, but a zombie green horror of perversions, his features twisted into lovecraftian muzzles of lactating penises and balls, a reminder of the evil in all men's hearts.
"Yessssssssss, letssssss rape!" hissed Shaggy, still alive but crawling like Gollum in the LOTR movies.
Then Fred appeared, also a ghost, and the girls were sorrounded.
"Oh Velma and Vivi, it was a pleasure to talk to you gals, you've been the bestest of friends!" cried Daphne, thinking about her virginity going to die.
"No girls, we musn't give in to despair, we must use our own spiritual powers to defeat them!" said Velma wisely and friendshiply.
"I brought these demon hellhound pervs into the world, now we're going to destroy them!" Vivi said righteously, "What do you say girls?"
"Yes, we must always prevail, we must always defeat the demons that are men!" said Daphne truthfully and righteously, "We are love, and love always defeat the hatred of blackness!"
"Yes, we are the bond between sisters!" said Velma.
"Yes, in name of Athena we will never bow to men!" Vivi ended.
And thus, a pure golden light of the sun goddess Athena shone in their pure virginal hearts like the pure virginal uterus of the goddess, and their light shielded them from the demon ghost males.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHH IT BURNS!" said Arthur, shielding his eyes, his facial penises and balls boners shrinking.
"Foolish women, your love is nothing copared to the dark hatred in the hearts of men!" shouted Lewis angrily, but he was wrong.
The pure sunlight of female virginity and superiority shone with every misogynistic and reddit remark the dudebros said, and no matter what they protested the MRAs could not stand the light, and a portal to hell opened, where the three evil ghosts and Shaggy fell, dragged by the hands of homoerotic demons.
"NNNOOOOOOOO!" Fred cried, but the doors to hell closed, and he was the first to be righteously and well deservingly raped, boys and girls!
"We did it, we defeated the evil men!" said Vivi happily.
"And now finally everything is right!" cried Velma, tears of happiness running down her faces.
So the three girls hugged, and decided to free the world from it's corruption. With all the money in the Mystery Inc. van, Velma, Vivi and Daphne rallied the female forces of the world to commit genocide on all men, ridding the world of the sexual parasites and their foul hatred and dudebros. And so our story ends, triumphant and glorious as the sunlight of Athena, with peace and prosperity running the world now that only females survived, while all the males were raped in hell by Tzitzimitl rattlesnake cocks for ten thousand years, boys and girls, amen and amen!
The end.