Dear Diary,
Today is Monday and Usher gave me to you, I was all like "Nah bro diaries are for girls" and he was all like "Yo J.B. dis will get you tons of fan girls jockin on yo dick foo." So now I'm writing in you cause I'm an OG and I ride out to a die.
Anyways so like today I say Justin Timberlake's punk ass trying to bring sexy back but his ass was all lame and shit looking like a Jonas brother with his nappy jew fro. I was all like "Yo J.T. wut it do?" and he winked at me then blew me a kiss and I ran.
Then I met up with Selena and made that bitch suck me off in the KFC bathroom. It was sweet.
So yah night.
Dear Diary,
Fucking Tuesdays suck dick, had to go to the studio to work on the new album. I got attacked by a bunch of fan girls. They was jockin on my swag and I was like "Back the fuck off this nigga hasn't got time for lil women." So them shawtys got off me and I rolled in like a boss.
I recorded a new demo with Nicki Minaj today it was wicked dope, its gonna be big, shady was mad jockin on me grillin me from across the room.
I know that Nicki wants me to fuck her in her fat black ass. Ram her asshole with my 9 inch dick.
Well I'm out for the night deuces.
Dear Diary,
Wednesdays are for faggots, I guess that's why Cody Simpson's punk ass was smiling so much today. I met up with his catty ass on the way to the air port. I know I'm more popular then him cause my dick is bigger. I swear he smelled like shit and I wanted to punch his fag face. I'm not a fag me and Ryan were totally looking sharp.
I know I look better than Cody cause Ryan told me so. I'm a pimp I don't need anyone I get more respect than a Michael Jackson death.
Well we about to land in the UK so I'm gonna bounce.
Dear Diary,
It's Thursday if you didn't know, Ryan and I have been in UK for a whole day now and I managed to join the mile high club last night. Yeah I gave Ryan a blow job in first class! I can't wait to tell Usher and Luda that I'm an official member.
So I'm about to get crunk off my ass I'll see you later fool.
Dear Diary,
TGIF, am I glad it's the weekend.
I called Usher up and told him about the mile high club. He called me a fag and said it doesn't count unless it's with a woman and I'm supposed to be getting the blow job.
He mad at me now.
The good news is that Ryan Butler fucked the shit out of me this morning. My ass hurts though but damn it felt good. Now I know why Selena loves it so much when I fuck her tight flat white girl ass.
Anyways I'm going to go jack off now.
Dear Diary,
Saturdays just aren't my day. I couldn't get in the club cause apparently I need to be over 18? The fuck, I am 18! Damn do I really look that young? I was all like "Bitch I'm Justin fucking Bieber. I cause fevers in girls from 3-25." But they didn't let me in so I went back to the hotel room and 69 with Ryan for a good hour.
Well I need to shit.
Dear Diary,
It's Sunday and I just got back from church. Apparently the pope hates me and tried to burn me at stake. Who cares he's just a hater cause I'm popular. And he be jockin on my swag!