So I've been sitting on this fic for some time, trying to decide on when/where to end it, and finally I've gotten tired of playing around with it. I've still got some edits later on, but it's long (past 30K) and came around after the whole Gibbs wakes up to Shannon/wakes up on the couch. As I said with my first 'Shannon is alive' fic – I don't really like them, but I just adore her character and after that scene this wouldn't let me go.
This is my take on the whole drug cartel/mexico bit (mine starts with Abby back from Mexico – you can assume her trip down there with McGee is the same) and then it's different from there. I also have the basic events from 'Mothers Day' AFTER the Mexico stuff, rather than before. Minor details though.
Also, you should all watch Scandal on ABC because Darby Stanchfield (she plays Shannon) is in it, and she's tweeted back to me a couple of times. Love her!
Phew – long authors note. Hope you enjoy!
Something hadn't sat right with him when she left NCIS to visit Mexico and teach at the forensics symposium, but he hadn't been able to put a finger on it until now. She refused to meet his eye as she gave the DNA results to the case they were working. Once she was finished, he sent Tony and Ziva to get the car, and McGee to continue following the bank trail. It wasn't until he was sure they were alone that he finally spoke. "Abbs?"
"Yeah?" Her voice was small, and she kept her gaze on her keyboard.
"I think we need to talk. My place after work?"
She nodded, "yeah, okay."
The rest of the day went by in a blur for the both of them. Gibbs tried to focus on the case at hand, but not knowing just how much Abby knew was eating him up inside.
Abby on the other hand kept busy. She was acutely aware of the lab cameras so she kept her movements calculated as she worked and tried to keep up her usually cheerful disposition. It wasn't easy, but she greeted the rest of the visitors to her lab with enthusiasm and kept her music at an earsplitting level.
She smiled happily to nearly everyone she met in the hall as she made her way up to the squad room, and cheerfully wished Tim, Tony and Ziva a pleasant evening. She held on to her enthusiasm as she turned to Gibbs, but anyone that knew her, knew she was trying not to cry. "We still on for tonight?"
"I'm on my way." Gibbs nodded and switched off his desk lamp. "Go home, everyone. Get some rest."
Abby headed for the elevator and stood quietly in the corner when Gibbs joined her. They were half way to the lobby when he opened his mouth to speak, but Abby interrupted. "Don't. Just… wait."
He nodded and moments later the elevators opened, and they headed out to their cars. "I've got steaks," he offered, otherwise he'd need to stop by the grocery store first.
"I'm not that hungry, so don't worry about me." Abby slid into her car and started the engine. The idea of food made her nauseous and she just wanted to get everything into the air before it choked her. She was aware of him following her the entire way back. Usually he made it back to his place much quicker than she did, but she assumed he stayed behind her to be sure that she didn't back out last minute and drive away.
Abby followed him up the front step and went to sit on the couch while Gibbs made coffee. He brought her a cup and sat down beside her, taking small comfort in the fact that she didn't move away from him.
"I… I know what you did."
Gibbs nodded, but said nothing. If she couldn't look at him the same anymore he would understand. It would hurt, but there wasn't anything he could do to change it and if he thought real hard, he wasn't sure if he'd change things even if he could. But the ball was in her court.
"And I think Alejandro knows too."
Gibbs' head snapped up. "Did he say something… do something to you?"
"No," she sighed and shook her head. "But we both know how you feel about coincidences, Gibbs. The way everything fell into place in Mexico…?"
"Tell me…" He didn't know any of the details except that Pedro's body had been brought back to NCIS and that Abby knew how he died.
"I'll tell you everything. But then you owe me the same." Abby took a deep breath and started from the very beginning, talking about the class and ending on how she had been given the exact evidence needed to convict him. "He looked so smug as he sent me away to test everything here, at NCIS. He's waiting for me to throw you under the bus."
"What's it to him?"
"I was wondering the same thing, so I… I ran a DNA test. Pedro was his father. Alejandro doesn't want to close a cold case, he wants revenge on the person who killed his father, you."
"When-"
"No, Gibbs. Now you tell me everything. I want to know every single detail as to why I risked my career today."
"Your what?"
"Details, Gibbs."
Gibbs frowned and leaned back against the couch. "I was in so much pain… Shan was the only witness in the case and with her out of the picture, Pedro disappeared. I tried for weeks on my own to find out more about him, but no one would talk. Then I got the job at NIS and Franks conveniently left the information out and then granted me a week of vacation with no questions asked."
"Mike knows?"
"He didn't ask questions." Gibbs shrugged. "So I went to Mexico and watched him for a few days, drank myself to sleep each night. Finally I decided to get him on his way to town. I went up to the mountain and waited, first night since they had died that I didn't drink. It was just past 7am when his truck drove by below. I pulled the trigger and that was it." He shuddered at the memory. He had felt such an odd mixture of grief and relief as soon as Pedro's car went off the road.
Abby turned toward him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him into an awkward hug. "You know I don't believe in murder, but I… I understand what you did."
Gibbs felt a surge of relief flood through his veins. He hadn't been sure of what to expect, but a hug hadn't even made the list.
"And then what happened?"
"I came back to NIS and tried to move forward with my life. Until recently, I think I've only ever moved sideways." He pressed a kiss to her forehead and wrapped an arm around her to return the hug. "What did you mean about risking your career?"
Abby was silent for a moment as she tried to think of how best to say what she needed to say. Unsure of her voice, she lifted her hands and began to speak with her fingers. I tampered with the evidence. There is no way to match anything to your sniper rifle. They will never convict you. Ever.
"Abby…" He felt a lump in his throat. Killing Pedro had stayed with him ever since he had pulled the trigger, though over the past few years he had learned to hide it away. But now the idea that she too would carry such a heavy burden hurt him in a way he couldn't describe.
"I had no other option Gibbs. He doesn't want to see you convicted. He wants you south of the border so he can get to you without the risk of running into US law enforcement. Your life is more important than my lab."
"You can't…"
"This stays between us, Gibbs. I can't take it back, I know that. I'm going to still process it officially, and I'm going to call in an outside expert. But there will be no way to link it to you."
"You should have to carry my baggage like this Abbs…. For the rest of your life this will eat at you. There must be something you can-"
"There isn't, but even if I could… just learn to accept it Gibbs." Abby snuggled into his side. "It'll all blow over once I tell Alejandro that it really is a cold case. There won't be anything he can do, he'll go away and we can get back to our lives."
"You really believe that?"
She nodded. "I have to."
They sat quietly together, both of them thinking of the coming days, maybe weeks that this would weigh on their minds. If Alejandro really was Pedro's son, he couldn't imagine the man just dropping it if Abby didn't point him to Gibbs.
"Tell me about them."
"Hmm?" Gibbs was brought out of his thoughts as Abby snuggled impossibly closer.
"Shannon and Kelly, tell me about them." Normally she wouldn't pry, but she figured if she was now almost just as involved as he was, she could ask the tough questions.
"Kelly was a lot like me; stubborn, practical. Even at her young age, she understood how the basement was a sanctuary. She spent a lot of time down there with me."
"You mean you've always hidden in the basement?"
"Basement, garage… always needed a work space. She would do her homework down here while I worked. Shannon loved the stuff I built down there, but she wasn't thrilled with the sawdust Kel and I tracked through the house. But she was more relaxed, let Kelly get away with a lot. Nothing bad, typical little girl stuff."
"And you didn't?" Abby glanced up with a smirk. She had no doubt that Kelly had him wrapped around his finger.
"I s'pose I did some." Gibbs gave a little shrug. "Now when I look back, I wish I'd let her get away with more. Wouldn't have been the end of the world if she'd stayed up and extra half hour to watch TV or had a cookie before dinner."
"You know, it wouldn't have made her love you more, or made you a better dad. You were setting limits that all little girls need. Bedtime was bedtime… no matter how much I wanted an extra 20 minutes. It didn't make me think less of my parents."
Gibbs nodded.
They stayed together on the couch, Gibbs sharing memories of his late wife and daughter, Abby listening intently. Despite the fact that they weren't romantically involved (not because she wasn't interested) there was an intimacy about the evening as he shared things he hadn't shared with anyone. Abby was the first to fall asleep, her head resting on his chest, her hand fisted in the fabric of his shirt. Gibbs debated on carrying her upstairs to his bed, but since he hadn't slept up there in some time, the bed wasn't made. With her warm body curled up to his he decided it wasn't worth it to get up, so he only shifted so they could stretch out, and pulled a blanket from the back of the couch over them.
Two days later, when Alejandro strolled into the squad room asking how to find Abby, Gibbs was quick to offer to show him. He had to keep his emotions in check, but his hands were in fists where they rested in his pockets as they rode the elevator down.
"That Abby… amazing scientist is she not?" Alejandro asked, a look of smug satisfaction on his face.
"Mmhmm. She knows her way around the lab." Gibbs agreed. As soon as the elevator doors opened, he was out. "This way."
"Abby!" Alejandro greeted, his smile faltering when she looked at him with a smile.
"Hey! I tried getting ahold of you before you flew up here, but I guess I just missed you."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, I tried the best I could, but… the evidence isn't telling me anything. I've just gotten everything packed up for transfer back to you. Or now that you're here, I could call in a specialist if you think I may have missed something…?" Abby shrugged.
Gibbs watched the exchange, quietly impressed with the way Abby was able to play it off as no big deal, as if this case was just like any other.
"You… you found nothing?"
"No," she said sadly, "I think it's just been too long, one of those cold cases that will taunt you from the shelf. We have a few of those downstairs. So, should I have everything shipped back to Mexico..? I assume you'd like to bury the body again where it was…"
"I… I would like to call someone else in, you don't mind, do you?"
"Oh, of course not," she glanced at Gibbs briefly. "You want someone to come here, or we could ship everything…"
"I would prefer it here. It'll take longer if we ship it and I would rather get things done while I am here."
"I totally understand. Did you have someone to call, or did you want me to make some calls?"
"I'll… I'll call the local agencies in the area." Alejandro stalked out of the lab, his eyes locked on the floor. Over the next two weeks there was a flow of outside forensic specialists in and out of Abby's lab, all looking over the evidence she had, and the results she had come up with. Most had heard of Abby before and couldn't understand why they were called in for a second opinion, but Abby just kept her head up, a smile on her face and soaked in all the compliments on her work. Eventually Alejandro conceded that nothing would be confirmed and he decided to ship everything back to Mexico, wanting to put Pedro back in his final resting place.
As soon as it was confirmed that Alejandro was indeed on a flight back to Mexico, Gibbs showed up in the lab with a black rose.
"Aww, what's this for?"
"You know what it's for."
"In for a penny…" Abby shrugged. "What can I do for you? It's kinda late…" She glanced at the clock on her computer to see it was nearly seven.
"Wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me?"
"Because you feel like you have to make it up to me for… everything?"
Gibbs shook his head, "no, because I want to have dinner with you."
Abby was shocked by the rare, unguarded smile on his face that accompanied the invite and there was no way she could say no. "I can be ready in ten minutes."
"I can wait," Gibbs touched his hand to her cheek and then went to sit at her desk as she cleaned up and switched off her machines for the night.
Gibbs surprised her by taking her somewhere she had never been, it was a low-key, but semi-romantic place just outside of the city. The restaurant was on the darker side with candles on the tables, and they had plenty of privacy. It wasn't the first time they'd gone out to dinner together, but there was a different feeling to this evening, and Abby found her eyes repeatedly drawn to where his hand rested over hers as they chatted.
Although dinner was relaxed, Abby couldn't help but try to figure out why exactly he had asked her out. She knew he would feel guilty for a long time over the fact that she had risked her career for him, but he had said it wasn't the reason for dinner – and she believed him. He was much too… happy for this to be because of his guilt. Every so often she thought that maybe – just maybe – he felt something more for her, the way she felt for him. He was always physical with her; hugs, kisses to the cheek, etc, but not she felt like he was touching her more often and for longer. If she could only know for sure…. She wasn't interested in ruining their friendship by making a move if he didn't feel the same way.
As life slowly moved forward, Abby felt more and more secure in what might possibly happen between them. There was no rush to move from friends to lovers, and the slow progression left her feeling more confident in their budding relationship. Dinner together happened more and more frequently – sometimes going out, and cooking together in his kitchen. They spent time together on the weekends, and Gibbs found himself volunteering to help out with her church, helping to fix a railing on the stair case, and even letting the nuns talk him into an evening of bowling.
Although he was more of a home-body when he wasn't on duty, Gibbs found himself enjoying the occasional trip into the marina when the weather was nice, or to a museum when weather kept them indoors.
There was no pressure when they were together, and if the other had plans already, it wasn't a big deal. There was a hint of intimacy when they strolled arm-in-arm through a museum or down the board walk, and it always felt like they were something more when they sat together on the sofa talking about their work week. Every so often Abby felt the urge to just lean in and kiss him, but something held her back.
But then his mother-in-law found herself in the center of their case, and Gibbs pulled away. Abby knew it had nothing to do with her – seeing the way Gibbs tensed the moment Joann's name came up, she knew he was not only dealing with the emotions surrounding their connection, but that it brought back painful memories of his girls' funeral.
Abby knew that he had messed up on purpose to clear her name. He hadn't said it in so many words, but it was obvious – Gibbs never made mistakes when it came to his job, everything he did was calculated.
Slowly they started to spend time together again, though not quite as often, and Gibbs was less willing to go out, instead preferring to share a simple meal and a quiet evening at his place instead. Nearly a month after they had last seen Joann, Gibbs sent Abby on her way after dinner. He had been glad for the company, but suddenly he found himself wanting her in a way he had never thought of before, and it scared him. He knew he had seemed rough and had given her the cold shoulder, but he needed time to think things through before he did something that hurt the both of them.
TBC