Schemer's Diary

I opened my eyes once more and noticed I was once again in my room. As I felt my cheeks humid, I realized I was crying, maybe the tears that I couldn't shed after he fade. "Zexion." I said once more. I stood up and started to roam around my room, after that, the entire castle. Apparently it was still early, an advantage I guess. After I walked for what it seemed forever, I stopped in front of a room that was marked 'VI'. As I opened it, I noticed it was dark and cold, like if it wasn't entered for years, making me feel even worse. "Remember Axel, we don't actually feel." I said to myself, trying to imitate his voice. I turned on the lights and saw the simple of things: his bed, a small chest and of course, the door to his private bathroom. There wasn't much to see, beside the books and clothes scattered around the floor, so decided to let myself explore.

From the top of his chest, there was a small and thin book and a picture frame next to it, so I grabbed both of them and crawled myself to his soft cold bed. As I buried myself to his sheets, I noticed in the frame there was a photo of the entire Organization, founding Zexion eyes glued to me with pink flushing in his cheeks. My eyes watered once more, I barely had the chance to spend time with my Schemer, only the times I passed by giving him quick pecks on his cheeks, and only one time, when we truly kiss. I put away the frame and decided to open the book, and clearly studied the first page. It said on his fine writing: Schemer's Diary "So…he had a diary." I said to myself. I flipped to the next page and softly read it contents.

I can't believe I am doing this, but here it goes.

May 2,?

I don't remember a thing from my past now, apparently after these long dreadful years, my memories have officially abandoned me, only leaving me with my former name: Ienzo. Before I keep forgetting more things, I rather write all down; I would be of no use if I keep forgetting.

My parents died when I was kid, reasons? It remains unknown. I became one of the six apprentices of Ansem the Wise, the one who also took me in. I felt grateful with him, he being a father figure and all, but something led me to displease him and…long story short, we lost our hearts and I became Zexion.

To tell the truth, I don't really want to know with exact details how I lost my heart, but the fact that we messed with the darkness, it led us to this.

I still remember where I lived, and even if it had change by the years, i enjoy going there to the missions. Hollow Bastion, that's the current name, a bit dreadful, but when I look at Kingdome Hearts, I remember the beauty of the town and at the end, the lovely name…Radiant Garden.

Somehow, I almost remember other things as a kid, like the fact I usually wondered off, making me bump with other people. I met a boy once, he was a teenage boy with red hair and emeralds for eyes, don't remember his name though, but does it matter anymore? I have no heart, I have no feelings, but sometimes I just do feel around some.

Now this is where it starts. Today, after a long day of missions, Axel just distracted me once more.

I stopped as I read the sentence as I raised an eyebrow. "So, how do you really feel about me?"

The Superior wanted to take a picture of the entire Organization, didn't know why, but should I even question him? I'm second-in-command, and he trusts me with many of his secrets, so why should I question his idea of…fun?

We were all ordered to appear on the Altar; even Roxas who was still a zombie, but the sight was just amusing, here's why. As I waited next to Xemnas who was talking to Saix (which I don't trust), Axel arrived threw the portal with Roxas in his arms, which I could swear I felt my chest tighten for reasons unknown, almost falling to the floor. I had to walk up to him and gave in a smirk, which that's the only thing that he can get out of me, a smirk. "Want to give me a hand here?" he said, his voices so childish yet mature. What is it from this man that intrigues me? His eyes? His hips? What am I saying?

Demyx intrude of course, as he started to clap simulating a joke. The both of them are quite the same in so many ways. Returning to my tale, we started to get in line for the picture, the original six in the back, and the rest kneeling in front. So Axel supposed to be FAR from me, but apparently Roxas couldn't be left alone, and for the love of Gaia, he was sitting on the floor, of course he could be alone for five seconds, but Xemnas decided for Axel to kneel in front and posed. Now, the thing that distracted me the most was that he turned to face me before the camera would take a picture and just wink.

Now, I don't know why that wink got me by surprise, but I was happy that camera took several pictures which I ended up normal. In a quick second, everyone received a copy, and maybe it was a cruel joke on behalf of Xemnas, but he gave me the picture that I end up looking at Axel with my face flushing in red. After that, I realized all about my memories and started this.

Still, I don't understand why Axel distraction made me feel something strange, even worse blush. I hope it never happens again.

~vi~