A/N: Written for a prompt at hobbit_kink meme:
Dwalin and DoYC (I prefer Ori, but it could be anyone with a marked height difference - even Bilbo) are getting sexy, and they try to give 69ing a shot. Except their size difference doesn't... really work that way. Dwarf 2 is too short to reach Dwalin's cock, and if they try to budge up then Dwalin can't reach theirs, either. It becomes an awkward game of dwarven Twister, trying to figure out how to work the positions so they both get in on the action, but it just gets so ridiculous that they realize it's a no-go and end up spooning and laughing.
I still can't believe I actually wrote this! O_o
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but if only I had the Arkenstone - I would lure thorin Oakenshield in my apartment in no time!
Whoever said that you should have fun in bed deserved to get hanged by their ass, decided Dwalin grumpily. In all his life he never felt so stupid like he did now. Bofur, on the other hand, seemed to have time of his life, if one were to guess from the quiet laughter.
It started as usual.
Both of them came from their respective jobs (Bofur left the mines and became a full-time toy maker, much to his cousin's delight, and Dwalin left the guards in capable hands of his second), had something to eat, and as they sat in front of the fireplace they had in their rooms, they felt like getting some. Before they knew it, their clothing littered the ground between the fireplace and their bed, both of them falling atop of the covers, when Bofur moaned:
"I wish we could suck each other at the same time."
Well, Dwalin kind of liked the idea - he liked sucking Bofur's off, as well as being sucked by Bofur, so why not to kill two birds with one stone?
It showed to be an impossible challenge, though. As much as Dwalin liked Bofur's smaller figure, in times like these he would probably happily trade it for someone of stature more like his own. Their bodies just didn't fit properly, when they tried to reach each other's cock at the same time - if Bofur leaned in to suck at Dwalin's cock, Dwalin had been unable to reach Bofur's, and after several awkward attempts they tried to switch positions, thinking that they may be doing it wrong (since they never did that before, after all).
They got exactly the same results, and for a moment, Bofur understood how Azog must have felt, when he saw Thorin in front of him, was already reaching for him, only to have him carried out of his reach. Dwalin's cock was the same in his eyes.
But then he sat up to look at Dwalin, and at the sight of his definitely thunderous face he couldn't help but chuckle. The chuckle bubbled from his belly all the way up and before he knew it, he was laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation.
Two full-grown dwarrow, unable to do the only novelty thing they tried in their sex , Dwalin ceased scowling and started laughing with him; his laughter boisterous just like the dwarf himself, before he reached for his smaller lover and gathered him in his arms."If I can't have you suck my cock at the same time I suck yours, I can at least rub us together," he mumbled, his hand sneaking down between their bodies before it reached its destination. With a gasp, Bofur's head fell back, as Dwalin's fingers slid up and down at leisure pace, pressing their cocks together, adding more friction to the 's world exploded first before his eyes, Dwalin following soon after. Wiping his hand on a piece of cloth, Dwalin reached for covers to cover them both. As Bofur fell asleep in his embrace, Dwalin found himself thinking about the ways to spice up their sex life in ways which wouldn't be such a failure.
After all, one does not have a toy-maker as a lover only for the children.