-1

Rachel let out a sigh as she sat in she and Monica's bathroom, just waiting.

Why did it have to be like this?

She checked her watch and blew out a frustrated breath.

She had a few minutes to kill.

She began thinking about the last night she and Ross were together. They had broken up just over two months ago, and things had never seemed to get any easier.

She remembered that night vividly, the night that would eventually change her world forever. It was three days before their anniversary. And the two were fighting again. It seemed like that was all they had been doing anymore, ever since she got that new job.

Stupid Ross. Stupid Mark.

"Sweetie, its just that I love you so much." Ross continued yelling "And youre so beautiful, and then theres me….And I see the way he looks at you Rachel. I know what hes thinking"

Rachel looked at him in disgust "Ross, even if that is what hes thinking, it doesn't matter. Do you honestly think Im just going to go ahead and Fuck him…just for the hell of it?" she questioned angerdly.

"Well no.."Ross began before Rachel cut him off

"Well? What is it then?!" She paused "Lets hear it?"

"NO, its stupid!" Ross spat back

Rachel just starred at him.

"Look okay, Im just afraid that one day" His voice now grew calm " One day you*ll realize how perfect you are…and that Im just a loser. Im afraid youre going to leave me. Rachel" He paused "You and I both know, you*ve always been out of my leage…Im just afraid you*ll figure that out, now that youre spending all this time with this great guy.."

He was cut off by Rachels figure pressed against his lips, telling him to be quiet.

"Honey, is that what this is all about?" She looked up at him sincerely, but he avoided her glace. "I already am with a great guy…and as thick headed and stupid as he is sometimes, I love him with my entire heart. " She then placed her hands so they were wrapped around his neck "And hes so sweet, and kind, and considerate…that maybe hes the one who is out of my league. " She then leaned in and placed a slow sweet kiss on his lips.

She pulled away and Ross smiled bashfully "Youre just saying that"

Rachel shook her head with a wide grin on her face "Im the luckiest girl in the world."

Ross reached out and grabbed for her hands, he was now holding one in each of his.

They were always holding hands Rachel recalled. Something that seemed so minor then, now appeared extremely sweet to her.

"Hey, Im really sorry Ive been fighting with you" He said sincerely "Could we just forget about it?"

Rachel nodded "Already forgotten"

The rest of the night blurred in Rachels present mind, as being one of the most special and passionate nights of their entire relationship.

Unfortunately that would be the last time they would ever love each other like that.

That night was more than just sex though, afterwards the two had talked late into the night about the things that they loved about each other. Like the way that she loved how passionate about everything he was, and his smell. And how he loved her laugh, how her hair feel around her face perfectly and how emotional she was. They talked about where they saw their lives going, and what exactly they wanted out of life.

Back in the present Rachel checked her watch for the second time. She then closed her eyes tightly, and opened them as she glanced down.

"Pregnant" she whispered to herself, as she felt herself come close to tears.

Panic swept over her. This couldn't be it.

"I cant have a baby" she mumbled.

At that moment Monica stumbled into the bathroom. It was Monday morning, and she expected Rachel to be at work.

"Hey Rach, what are you doing--" Monica stopped herself as she looked down as Rachels hand

Rachel let out a gasp "Monica!" she exclaimed standing up quickly, the pregnancy test falling from her hands in her excitement. She swallowed deep hoping hard that Monica hadn't noticed anything.

"Umm..is everything okay?" Monica questioned quietly. "Are you---are you…youre not?" Monica forced out.

Rachel looked at her best friend and nodded slowly.

"Sweetie…" Monicas eyes then lit up. "We*re going to have a baby!" she exclaimed, forgetting about all of the other factors that played into this.

Rachel let out an uneasy smile. "Shh..you cant tell anyone yet".

Monica sent her a confused glance.

"Bonnie?" Rachel said reminding her friend. "Besides, I just, I don't know, I don't want anyone to know right now..please don't say anything. I mean Ross is taking Bonnie to the beach next week, and I don't want to ruin the trip."

Monica nodded slowly understanding "You*ll tell him though right?"

"Yeah…what do you think Im going to do Monica, I don't think everyone's going to believe six months from now that I swallowed a watermelon seed, and it grew in my belly" Rachel said sarcastically.

Monica smiled "Okay, sorry"

Rachel let out a groan "Monica, what am I going to do?! IM too young to be doing this, Im not mature enough to be having a child!" She paused "Even I know that…I don't know how to take care of a kid."

"I do!" Monica exclaimed "Sorry…" she realized that this wasn't about her, and knew that her friend was actually in trouble. " Sweetie you*ve watched Ben a thousand times though, and shes crazy about you"

"Yes but Monica, I cant give this one back at the end of the day…Monica, Im so…Im so scared."

As she cradled Rachel in her arms she had thought back to the morning after the night Rachel and Ross had broken up.

Rachel had stirred from the couch around 2 in the afternoon, and Monica immediately ran to her best friends side, taking a seat in the chair next to the couch.

"How are you sweetie?" she has quietly.

All Rachel could do was shake her head, a confused look still on her face. After minutes of silence she began to speak "It hard to believe that last night was real…" she trailed off "Monica, I feel so..so..betrayed. And when I think of him, when I used to think of him, I used to get butterflies and smile…and now, I just feel like theres this huge pit at the bottom of my stomach. "

Monica reached over and rubbed her leg "Im so so sorry"

"I hate him" Rachel said flatly. "I hate him so much…he ruined me" she then started to shake her head "He broke my heart…he literally broke it. Mon, ive had guys break up with me before, and Ive had guys stand me up, and Chip cheated on me senior year… but nothing hurt like this…I feel…numb. "

"Rachel, I don't know what I would have done if I found out Richard did that…I cant even imagine. "

Rachel then looked at Monica for a few seconds before speaking again "Mon, I love him so much" she threw her hands up in the air, before burying her face in them "So, so much. I cant imagine not being with him. I cant imagine him never kissing me again, or telling me that he loves me. I love your stupid brother, and I hate him at the same time…and I cant wrap my head around that"

Back in the present Monica looked down at Rachel who seemed to be in her own world. Monica sensed that this would bring about old feelings, both good and bad. After the break up, Rachel seemed find on the outside, but then for a few weeks after she had carried on like that to Monica nightly. She feared that it would start all over again, because until this moment, it seemed like Rachel had started to deal with the loss, and was ready to move on.