OHHHHHHH! BTW this is a crack-fic!!!!!!
Death to Peroxide!!
It was an ordinary day and I was walking along, tripping over my own feet, stumbling aimlessly, a daily routine. I took a short-cut, although short-cuts imply it took less time and this was definately NOT the case. .
So, what was I saying?
Oh, yeah! Anyway, my mind was boggled with ideas of fanfiction, that happens when I talk to my (Utterly Awesome) beta, regularly, when suddenly BAM! I walk straight through the paper wall, and see a curious pair. One is sitting at a desk, looking for all good like a student, 'cept you know, in the middle of a derlict building. The other is a tall guy dressed in white, with this HUGE sword pointed at the student.
"You will do as I say!" Yells the guy with the sword, his hair slicked back with a stupid piece of hair sticking out like a stick in the middle of his face.
The student glares at him giving him the evil eye. "I am Kira, have you heard of me?"
"My espada have heard of you, in fact you have been writing them off!" Just like the author, I thought. Hehe.
"Mind telling me your name?"
"Wha-? I am Aizen Sousuke! Ruler of the Espada, shinigami and the Human Worlds!"
I shake my head watching Aizen and his totally OOC rant. This attracts Aizen's attention. "Who are you?" He asks, snapping out of his OOC moment.
"An alternateapocalypse?" I ask sarcastically. "And BTW, has anyone told you that you have a God Complex?"
"I am God. Why would I have a god complex? Isn't that impossible due to the fact I AM god?" "Sarcastic, vindictive, pain-in-the-arse, self-rightous, good-for-nothing god, right?" I asked, immediately feeling the sudden sense of im pending doom. Eep.
The brown-haired student glanced at me then and started scribbling in a note pad. Thanks, that's a lot of help, kid.
Aizen approached, and I was starting to think that I might have to rehypothesize my evaluation of his god complex.
Oh, god.
You know, the one with the complex. Ahhhhhhhh!
And suddenly the God Complex lifted his sword and stepped towards me.
Oh crap, oh crap, oh. CRAP.
And God Complex swung aside, staggering like a drunk. He stumbled towards the crane that I conventiently saw in the corner, tripped over the hook that was lax on the ground, and impaled himself on his own sword. Ha, ha, haha ha.
"That is why I, Kira, otherwise known as Light, will rule the world! It will be perfect with no crime, injustice and-"
"You sound like you are a corny superhero on a kids television show. You know that, right?" I asked, interrupting his psychotic, god complex rant. Seriously, does everyone have a god complex? Where can I get one?
"What is you're name, again?"
"What's yours?" I asked, playing stupid. This isn't hard, seen as I am already stupid.
"I am Kira. Now, what is your name?"
"I thought your name was Light?" I said, instilling silence on the creepy warehouse.
.
.
...*cricket, cricket* "So what is your name?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.
"I-I'm A-A-Al-ter-ter-nate-ap-apocalypse."
He started to scribble on the notepad as a movement caught my eye from where Aizen was, and was being the operative word, laying. The congelling blood was all that was left, and all I saw before a pointy object rested on my back.
"Moahahaha! Now, Light, surrender or I will kill this girl."
Eep.
"Meh, I don't care, go right ahead, saves me find out her name."
IMPENDING DOOM
Aizen threw me across the room, and -Ohgod(complex)- that hurt.
Aizen leapt across at Light, and with a flash of light they were gone.
"WTF?" I said aloud, rubbing my now sore butt. I am soo sure it is going to be completely flat after this.
***
"So, Miss, I that is why I forgot to do my homework, 'cause I totally had to document it!"
"That's BS!" she exclaimed.
"It's totally true!!" I replied, shocked. (She swore! My teacher swore)
"There is no way that Light and Aizen wouldn't kill each other!" She said calmly, then thought to herself as her class gaped at her. Tehehe, fanfiction, you saved me again.
She came to herself. "You all have to write a 500 word narrative of your favourite fictional story as homework. And Alternateapocalypse, you get to do last night's homework."
Crap.
Death to Peroxide!
A/N: This is so totally true!!!!!!! It happened in front of my eyes.
My UAB (utterly awesome beta) said I had to post this. I agree, I have to humour the world, at least.