''Sooo unfair! I was supposed to meet my friends again! They are coming home for Christmas this year!'' Eren whined, his head pressed into his crossed arms on the table. He had just heard that he was on the Christmas and New Year shift for this year in the hospital.
''They go to war, and I have to sit here, that is bad enough, but not being able to see them on Christmas? That man is nuts!'' There were more people sitting at the table, some uncomfortable sharing that their names weren't on the schedule for the upcoming week. Yet, they were relieved, they would be able to see their families.
''That really sucks for you, Eren.'' Marco, head of the nurse department gave Eren a kind smile. ''But at least you'll get to treat the fun parts, finally something else than removed appendixes and depressed cancer patients.''
Eren threw his arms up in the air. ''Yay! I get the stupids that like to play around with fireworks or burn their hands in the oven!'' He dropped his arms, giving Marco a very serious ''are-you-fucking-kidding-me'' look.
''You aren't the only one, Sasha and Connie will be there too.'' As if they would make it any better, they would only sneak into corners to share eggnog mouth-to-mouth, or worse. The thought of those situations made Eren shudder already.
''Which doctors are scheduled?'' Annie tried, who was also free. ''Let's see...'' Eren scrolled through the list that was sent to him by email. ''Mike, Auruo, Hanji and Levi...'' Annie frowned. ''But he was there last year too, he shouldn't have been scheduled unless he requested it. Who would request such a thing?''
Eren couldn't care less, on the outside. ''Someone that doesn't like Christmas, obviously.'' He shrugged.
He thought about it though, he himself had tried so hard not to be scheduled, but doctor Levi had requested it? What did that mean? Didn't he like Christmas? Why wouldn't he? Was it possible that he was all alone?
No... He would be with doctor Erwin and Hanji, no doubt. Hanji had been scheduled, Erwin hadn't, but Erwin had more say about whether he wanted to work at a given time or not, he was head of the cardiovascular department after all. Not that it mattered much, during Christmas, almost everyone was on at least standby for ER.
Eren sighed once more, he had missed Armin and Mikasa terribly over the past year, they had gone to war while he had to stay home. Eren had tried to get into the army, but he didn't qualify in the end, agility was too low or something. So he had to choose a study last minute, which had become pharmacy, and now he was a nurse at the hospital of Trost.
Not exactly his dream job, but it wasn't abnormally agonising either. It was five and time to go home for the weekend, so Eren packed his things and slung his bag over his shoulder.
Just before he left the hospital, his eye caught a glance of a short figure in a long white coat, black hair in an undercut the seemingly never disappearing frown on his face, doctor Levi Ackerman was standing in a room, talking to a patient or perhaps another nurse.
For a moment, Eren felt a light sting of jealousy in his chest, but he pushed it away: he was way past the stage of jealousy.
Five thirty AM, that was the time he was at the hospital the 24th of December, he would start at six, but to be on time for doctor Zachary, you had to be early.
In the time he still had before he had to work, Eren decided he would get a cup of coffee. He went to the staff canteen and walked to the machine. ''Never mind that, it is broken.''
Eren spun around on his heels, to see Levi sitting at the table; one leg lazily put over the other, arm over the back of the chair. ''But you do have...''
Eren's voice trailed off, fatigued and maybe in wonder as he watched Levi's features stretch as he lifted a cup to his lips and tilted his head back, eyes still open and -at least one was- locked on Eren.
''I broke it.'' Levi said, tossing the now empty cup over his shoulder, into the trash can, and of course it was a direct hit – the time it wouldn't be would be the time Eren joined the army: never. ''How?''
Admittedly, it was pretty insane for a man Levi's size to break a coffee machine, it was at least twice as big as he was. ''Couldn't read the stickers and pressed three different ones trice because it didn't work fast enough.''
His face showed no regret, shame or even sarcasm, just that ever-lasting frown of his. ''And then the thing decided to break down because it is shit quality.'' Well at least he was honest, right?
For no reason at all and to his own surprise, Eren chuckled. Maybe because it was five thirty, maybe because tonight was Christmas Eve, maybe because he really liked Levi's face and fantasizing about it.
''What's so funny?'' Levi frowned deeper, having absolutely no idea what was happening to the young nurse in front of him.
Had he said something funny? Was there something on his nose? That couldn't be it, he checked it this morning, before he walked into the canteen. What would Hanji say it was? He couldn't figure it out, oh where was that woman when you needed her? Why did she always have to be later than Eren?
''Nothing, it's nothing.'' Eren waved in front of his face, as if he was trying to wave away the cause of his sudden cheeriness.
''Ohayou!'' The door was slammed open, and in the door opening stood a woman with brown hair that was put up in a ponytail, glasses on her nose, and a grin baring her teeth.
Too late, four eyes. Levi thought before Hanji stepped over to him, and attempted to hug him like she often did, and like she often did, she failed. Actually, Levi hardly accepted physical contact; even a hand on his shoulder, though meant reassuringly, was met with a judgemental frown.
''Oh right! It seems like the three of us and Christa are a team for these holidays.'' Teams? Since when did the hospital use teams? Probably a holiday thing.
''Two cute nurses, a smart doctor and a...'' Hanji looked at Levi, who gave her a death glare. ''Our always happy and up for anything Levi!'' She concluded, clapped her hands together and sending Levi the sweetest smile. ''I am not taking my break with you today Hanji.''
It was the only retort Levi could muster without losing his temper. Sounds strange? Levi would hardly lose his temper, but Hanji knew how to press his buttons, very well.
Maybe that was why they were friends, maybe it was because Hanji was one of the very few that had known Levi before he started working in the hospital. And in that context, very few means only one, not even Erwin had known Levi for that long.
''I'm not going to do it with Christa either, I don't know her well enough.'' Hanji was going to say something back, Eren might have wanted to say something back, but neither had the chance because the door was opened and a slightly crooked but happily smiling Christa walked in.
''Ohayou.'' She said in a sweet tone. She was probably the only relatively sane person in the room; Hanji was a mad doctor that would get overly enthousiastic over patients with difficult illnesses; Levi never smiled and Eren... ''I heard that we were working in teams this week, and I am in yours, right?''
Hanji nodded, walked over to the small girl and threw an arm over her shoulder. ''We are going to give every patient we meet the best of us, and in order to do that I have brought something I wanted to show you all at the same time. There is no backing out; it is an order directly from doctor Smith, so you can't decline.''
With a bright grin on her face, Hanji pulled out a small package, opened it and revealed four Christmas hats. Levi groaned almost too softly to be heard, Eren gasped but accepted it quite quickly - it was almost an improvement on the ugly nurse suit thing he usually had to wear. Christa clapped her hands and giggled enthousiastically. ''How lovely!'' She cheered. Levi exclaimed a ''For crying out loud.'' silently together with a face-palm.
The day wasn't much short of a regular day, except for giving wishes and more visiting hours, also the patients were showing improvements in mental state here and there.
They all loved the idea of the hats, or maybe that was because they made Christa seem like the perfect Christmas gift. Levi had attempted multiple times to throw his away or tuck it into his coat, but Hanji stopped him every time.
''Why don't you try it on?'' He had said, taking it off and almost handing it to a young boy in the children's department, but Hanji slapped his hand away and took another Christmas hat from her pocket. ''Why don't you give this one to him? Look, it even has text on it!''
Indeed it did, on the white strap of the hat, it said ''Merry Christmas and a Healthy New Year!'' suitable for the hospital.
''Fucking bullshit...'' Levi mumbled to himself as he walked into the canteen at lunch time, taking off the hat and pushing it deep into his pocket.
''Do you really hate it that much?'' Eren smiled a little and tilted his head in questioning manner. ''Eren, I am a thirty year-old man with a height of 160 centimetres, how serious do you think people take me?''
Eren nodded. ''You have a point, but I do think that it looks pretty...'' he quickly stopped talking when Levi's eyes nearly pierced his. ''That it might improve the mental state of our patients because it might bring them more in the festive mood.'' Eren corrected himself, swallowing the word he wanted to say, cute. But who says that the doctor they work with looks cute?
Especially this one.
He deserved other words like handsome, hot or devine. Hold on, ''devine''? That was more of a taste, wasn't it? Now that Eren thought about it... what would Levi taste like? Would he be sweet? He didn't seem the type to have a sweet tasting skin, more of a... salty one. Salt coming from sweat, because he worked pretty hard, even if it didn't seem like that to everyone.
The words ''sweat'' and ''worked'' brought different images up in Eren's mind. Images of Levi working out, straining his muscles until they screamed, working the sweat out of his pores. Sweat slowly rolling down his toned sides or back... ''Oi Eren, are you still there?'' Levi snapped his fingers in front of Eren's face, abrubtly dragging him from his thoughts into reality.
''So why are you here?'' Levi looked up from his tea – which he got from a different machine that only gave hot water. He was tracing his finger around the edge of the small cup, nearly tipping it over.
''Because I work here.'' His answer was short, simple and seemed so logical, but Eren wasn't giving up.
''I heard you had to work last year around the Christmas holidays too, so why this year again?''
''Oh that...'' Strangely enough, Levi's eyes darted in different directions, as if searching for something, for maybe half a second. ''I signed up for it.''
So it was true, but then... ''Why?'' Eren leaned forward over the table curiously, eyes slightly widening. Levi gritted his teeth, eyes darting to the floor again.
''I don't like these holidays, I think they're useless.'' Eren leaned backwards now, frowning.
''Why would you dislike Christmas?''
''I'm an atheist.''
''So...?'' What was that supposed to explain, there were plenty of atheists in the world who celebrated and loved Christmas.
''During Christmas, we celebrate that Mary gave birth to Jesus, the child from God, but if I do not believe in God, Jesus or Mary, I have no reason to celebrate Christmas.''
''Oh... then what about the presents, and Santa Claus?''
''I'm not five...''
''The fun then? Going home for Christmas and seeing your family, unite...'' Eren was almost daydreaming again, he missed Armin and Mikasa so much it would almost physically hurt.
''I don't have anyone to celebrate Christmas with.'' Slowly but surely, Levi's hand closed around the cup, which was made of paper.
''Then... Then celebrate it with me! We'll be free around the same time, you could come over to my house, or yours if you prefer that, I'll get you a present, we can sing toge-''
Levi's knuckles had went white and his eyes were looking at Eren so threathening that the other boy lost his ability to speak right that instant. ''I do not celebrate Christmas, not with my family, not with my friends, not with you, I just don't, alright?'' Eren could only nod hastly.
The rest of the day should have went smooth, but it didn't: a patient threw up three times in a row just before Eren wanted to leave, and he had to stay till two AM to clean it up.
Then another patient decided it was time to go to the toilet by himself and tear his stitches: four AM.
By the time Eren was done, he felt nauseous and so exhausted that when he wanted to retrieve his bag from his locker, he didn't make it past a bench.
He was woken up by an alarm on his phone, which had thankfully not run out of battery. The alarm said only one thing, and Eren wondered why he would have forgotten it.
Doctor Levi Ackerman-san's birthday!
He had set that alarm when he heard of the funny birthday date of the doctor he looked up to so much and decided to remember it. He had never told Levi though; last year, Eren wasn't working around Christmas, and the year before he tried to congratulate him, but simply didn't have the time. This would finally be the year Eren wished doctor Levi Ackerman a happy birthday.
But he wasn't just a great doctor to him, Levi was... an object of Eren's admiration.
He wouldn't admit it to Levi himself, but ever since Eren set foot in the hospital and Levi walked up to him to introduce him to everyone, he had a funny feeling in his stomach, heart and maybe his crotch area whenever he saw him.
Though, Eren had never seen Levi smile, not in the slightest. In those first moments, when he stepped in front of him and demanded Eren to follow him, Levi hadn't bothered with a smile.
There had been a time where Eren was lying in bed at night, unable to sleep, almost haunted by thoughts of that mysterious doctor.
He would think, fantasize, dream, until he couldn't take it anymore and let his hand slip into his pants or whatever kind of garment he was wearing and relieve himself, with his eyes closed and completely zoned out in the idea that it was Levi's hand around his throbbing erection, instead of his own.
However, he was past that now and he simply couldn't afford to think like that anymore. He had a life to live, things to do, friends and family to love.
Oh he would so much love a family of his own, whether it was with or without kids, over time, Eren had become almost desperate to love someone. Cuddling, making out in random places, coming home from work and not being alone, he would give up so much for that.
''Well good morning to you too.'' Eren's heart jumped, he had been lost in his thoughts again.
''Didn't expect you to be so early.'' Levi was towering over him, since Eren was still lying down on the bench. Oh my back... It was most definetely going to kill him during the day.
''Well I uh... figured I might as well...'' What, was he going to tell the truth? That he had fallen asleep like a little kid after playing outside for hours on end, was he going to tell doctor Levi Ackerman that?
There the old feelings were again; the need to appear cool - no he was no longer cool, appear like a respectable person. Stand out, but not too much, see him, but not always notice him, confident but not arrogant, simple but not reluctant...
''Stay the night?'' He didn't need to hide the truth from him, Levi would figure it out on his own just fine, that's probably also the trait that got him his medicine degree.
''You're wearing the same shirt you were yesterday.'' How had he seen that? Nurse's normal shirts were mostly hidden under their uniforms, you could only see them if you looked for them... Did that mean Levi had looked for Eren's shirt?
Or he had seen it yesterday when Eren changed in the locker room, which must have been easy because he was so hazy from sleep that-
''And the same socks, in case you wear the same shirt twice in a row.'' This made Eren sit up and frown a lot deeper than he had before.
''Why do you know which socks I wear?'' Levi shrugged. ''Blue with dark navy or black stripes, very easy to see but everyone has them so it's okay, am I mistaken?'' Eren shook his head.
What were they doing? What time was it? Why hadn't he wished Levi a happy birthday yet? Last two questions could be answered or countered.
''Levi I just realised, it is your birthday today, isn't it?'' Levi's eyes narrowed. ''Yes, but leave out the wishes please, I don't like it.''
How typical for Levi not to like his own birthday. Everyone liked it, except special people, so of course Levi had to dislike it.
''Oh... okay then...'' Slightly defeated, Eren's gaze dropped to the floor. Simple blue tiles, easy to clean but not white like in the rest of the hospital, which was a big relief at times.
Why would he look at my socks?
It was the thought that bothered Eren most throughout the day, as well as I really need coffee.
He was sore, tired and sloppy. Papers were dropped in the hallways, patients got their lunch late, one even peed himself because Eren was still busy feeding a partially paralized young woman.
When he finially got his break, he didn't care that Levi sat down opposite of him, and did not take his eyes off him for a good five minutes.
Then, Eren dropped his head on the table and groaned. ''I would do anything for some energy, even if it is only for fifteen minutes!''
Levi looked at him for a second when an idea came to mind. ''Would you mind alertness and possibly quickened heartbeat as side effects?'' Eren raised his head.
''What? No, that would be great actually.'' Levi nodded. ''Very well.''
Then he did something Eren didn't expect: within seconds, he raised himself, leaned over the table, gripped Eren's chin and kissed him full on the lips.
Hold on. He did what?
Levi's lips were still on Eren's when he realised what was going on. His heartbeat rose frantically, and it was as if his mind took a full hit of ice cold water.
He was awake, very awake. Just as Eren was getting used to it and wanted to return the kiss, Levi pulled back and sat down, leaving Eren astonished on his table.
''You said you wanted an energy boost, I gave it to you: adrenaline.'' He licked his lips and let his eyes wander over the other boy. Not bad. It wasn't going to be bad until he could speak, and they still had four hours to work together, at the very least. But had he made a mistake? No, he had simply given Eren what he wanted.
Needless to say, those following four hours were killing to Eren. His eyes kept moving to Levi, to see if he was any different, if the kiss had changed him, but it seemed not.
Was Levi immune to awkward situations? It seemed like it.
There was one more thing; the more time passed, the more Eren looked, the more his imagination ran wild. Ideas stormed his head like tornadoes, fantasies worked their way in his system like viruses, riddening him of his concentration.
The energy somehow lasted though, Eren was hyped those last hours, and by the time it was five, he had an idea, it was stupid and wonderful and if it went wrong he would have to resign, but if it did work...
Eren left the hospital at a quarter past five, knowing Levi had to work for a bit longer, which was perfect. He headed straight home, which wasn't too far.
There, Eren dropped his work material and grabbed what he needed, his heart was pounding already. What was he doing? There was no time for sanity, he had to do what he needed to do.
Out with the safe games, this was a gamble he just had to take.
When Levi opened the door to his apartment at six thirty, he let out a deep sigh of relief; finally some alone time.
Patients were like bugs to him at times, especially if one appeared to be the mother of someone he knew from primary school, why do women always remember birthdays? How do they do it? Terrible.
Then he noticed it: something was off, the apartment didn't feel as it should, someone had been here, or was here still.
It quickly became clear what exactly was off to Levi when he entered the living room. There, on the floor, dressed in the same clothes as the two days before – ew- sat a boy of about twenty-five years old, browsing through his DVDs.
What is he doing here and why is he touching my DVDs? Good question.
''Neh Levi, which one do you like best? I can't choose, and it is your turn to, either way.''
Eren acted as if he and Levi watched films together a lot, that they took turns choosing DVDs.
What was he thinking? Was he drunk? Levi smelled no b- well not smell, but next to Eren stood a small bottle of wine. ''Since it's your night, I got your favourite.'' How did he...?
Eren tilted his head sidewards over his shoulder.
''Have you lost your tongue?''
Slowly, everything started to dawn on Levi, Eren's occasional but regulated looks in his direction, random questions he asked, a certain tenseness he displayed when they were close.
This move was the final one, after that, he would never see him again- no. He still wanted to see Eren, see him walking through the halls, sometimes slipping or cursing because something had slipped. His shirt dirty or torn, putting his caramel skin on display.
Caramel, that was a good name for Eren's skin colour. Would it taste like that? Would a certain sweetness tingle his tastebuds if Levi let his tongue explore that caramel skin?
Suddenly, he was more than eager to find out.
So he dropped on his knees next to Eren and pointed at the shelf. ''I haven't watched that one in ages.'' He had no idea which film he was pointing at, it didn't matter, there was only one thing that mattered right now.
There was only one thing that had mattered for a long time. It had been in the back of his head for a long time, whining to be heard.
All it had needed was a simple little push, Levi's consciousness realised it later than his body did, because his hand was already sliding into Eren's, intertwining their fingers. It didn't take long for their lips to find each other, without an excuse this time.