Author's Note:
Have you ever had a honest-to-God-won't-leave-you-alone plot bunny? Well, this is one. It wouldn't leave me alone for the past two days, even since I watched that Transformers Cybertron DVD. I know that this is a little out there as far as plot and pairing go, but bear with me. (sweat drop) I had to get it out.
However, it did come out just smartass enough for me to accept it and post it. Enjoy.
Anything Can Happen
"Humph. Well this is just dandy."
It was another day on the desolate red planet. Here in a small gully not far from what is known as Olympus Mons, we find our heroine. But Primus forbid she should realize she is such.
Her name is Thunderblast. She was - is - a Decepticon, one of the most feared races in the universe. Obviously the people who fear the Decepticons have never met Thunderblast.
Oh, but she is cunning and deceptive. It was one of her favorite ploys to lure unsuspecting Autobots into believing that she was just a helpless femme before she offlined them with a few well placed shots. She may act the part of a dumb blonde, but she's not as unintelligent as you would think. However, she is quite the girly-girl right on down to wailing should she have to touch anything 'gooey', 'muddy', or my personal favorite 'squishy'.
She also has one more Princess Peach-esque weakness. Knights in shining armor.
"Where in the Pit are those three when you need them?" She is of course referring to her comrades Thundercracker, Ransack, and Crumplezone. The four of them had made the journey to find a new leader since they didn't know what they'd do with themselves without an evil dictator to dictate to them. But they only got as far as Mars.
"You would think they would be of some use, but no." Thunderblast hasn't seen her three mech-friends in many days.
Thunderblast tried to push off the boulder. The rock wouldn't budge for anything. Thunderblast strained against it, but it was no use. While she hadn't felt pain when it landed on her leg, her sensors were having a field day none the less. She was methodically shutting them off, but just as quickly as she did, they overrode her commands.
"Slag." she cursed - a rare event for her - "This is bad." She was beginning to feel some panic. She could very well go offline permanently if she bled out enough energon. She began to call over every frequency she knew for help, but no one answered.
We find our hero not too far away. Optimus Prime has had a very peaceful two years. He's helped expand the space bridges to new galaxies and discovered new worlds. But he's not feeling fulfilled. He hates to think it, but he misses Megatron. He misses being able to save the day. He misses feeling at his most useful. Now he can only quietly lead his people when he's more used to war.
However, he doesn't wish to go back. He's glad there is no war, at least for everyone else if not himself. He thinks he'll adjust in time and not feel like he lost a part of himself when Megatron died - and of course that's not meant romantically. Megatron was Prime's antithesis, the yin to Prime's yang, and it's no fun being a yang without a yin.
But something has come up. Some Autobots left on Earth have reported strange happenings. There are rumbles of unrest and possible new battles. Prime tries to squash the giddy joy of being really useful again. So the leader of the Autobots is making his way back to Earth along with his trusty sidekicks Hot Shot, Jetfire, Red Alert, Scattershot, and Landmine.
At the moment he is on Mars, searching for Thundercracker and his posse. Before being abducted by his Decepticon fellows, the hillbilly-sounding jet had been fitted with a homing beacon. The Autobots have found the beacon, but no Thundercracker.
"You think he removed it himself?" Hot Shot asked.
"Maybe." Red Alert answered. "But I can't see Thundercracker actually bothering."
"Could Ransack, Crumplezone, or Thunderblast have managed it?" Landmine inquired.
"Would they even care?" Jetfire piped up.
The group shared glances. "I'd say no personally." Optimus replied. "I don't think the four of them have enough reason to care about the beacon."
"Or enough processing power." Hot Shot snorted. Optimus gave his young friend a glare.
It was then that the Autobots heard the call for help. "Crumplezone! Ransack! Thundercracker! Where are you mechs?! I need your help!"
All six cringed as she shrieked the last bit. "Ouch. Wonder what bee got up her bonnet." Scattershot muttered.
"Why don't we find out?" Jetfire said. "We can also find out where her little friends went to as well."
"Good idea Jetfire." Optimus commended. "Let's go."
"Come on! Where are you guys! I need your help, like, now! I'm stuck! Do you hear me?!"
Thunderblast would have been bawling if she had tear ducts. Her systems were registering a severe drop in energon levels as well as her generic hydraulic fluids and she could see that the ground beneath the boulder was dark from the leaking liquids.
"Come on guys!" she cried, her voice now full of tears and fear, "Please get me out of here!"
"Holy Primus she said please!" Hot Shot exclaimed, "What is wrong with her?"
Optimus was concerned as well. She sounded scared out of her wits. "Hurry. She's in trouble."
The Autobots didn't need to be told twice. They put the pedal to metal in order to get to the distressed Decepticon femme. Optimus finally opened up communications in order to calm her.
"Hold on. We're coming."
Back under her boulder Thunderblast laughed and hiccupped at the same time. Someone was coming for her! "Thank you!" she cried in uncharacteristic joy.
The Autobots arrived on the scene in time to hear that exclamation in person. She gazed up with joyous optics at her rescuers and waved them down. "Hurry! My energon is leaking everywhere!" The Autobots scrambled down to her.
"Well no wonder." Red Alert commented as Jetfire and Landmine removed the boulder. "That rock crushed your leg." It was true. Thunderblast's leg looked like someone had taken an oversize meat mallet to it. Red Alert motioned to Optimus who had gingerly picked up the lady Transformer. "We've got to get her to a proper med bay."
"We'll bring her to Earth. We can get her fixed up at the old base." Optimus said, satisfied to have saved a life without any bloodshed at all. He adjusted his grip without noticing that Thunderblast was staring up at him starry-eyed.
So it came to be that Thunderblast was ensconced in the Autobots' former Earth base. She was received with some hostility, especially by the visiting Lori.
"What do you mean you have the floozy here!?" Lori cried. She marched to the med bay.
"You might not want to go in there." Optimus commented.
"Why not?" she asked.
"Because Thunderblast is pretty banged up." Hot Shot answered. "Her leg was pulverized."
Lori didn't march, but she swept into the room none the less. Then she promptly swept out of it. "Holy moly." she muttered, her face turning a lovely shade of green. "I actually feel sort of sorry for the floozy."
"Optimus told you that you might not want to go in there." Jetfire stated calmly.
"How'd she do that?" Lori asked.
"We're not sure. All we know is that she was all alone on Mars when it happened." Optimus answered. "We hope to find out once Red Alert's done."
Lori nodded. "You know, I never liked Thunderblast or anything, but I wouldn't wish that sort of injury on her. And she was alone? That makes it worse."
The Autobots shared a meaningful look. Lori's hatred of Thunderblast had been a well noted feeling. For her to be this sympathetic said something.
"So you haven't seen them in days?"
"Yeah sugar, I haven't seen them in days."
Red Alert scowled. "Must you call me that?"
Thunderblast smiled flirtatiously. "I save the real pet names for mechs I like."
Red Alert growled at the vixen. "Dare I ask what those would be?"
She laughed. "Be glad you're not a Hunky Bar dearie."
He shuddered and she giggled some more. "I'm very glad then." he said smiling. Then he frowned. This was a side of Thunderblast he hadn't known existed.
To the mechs of the Autobots, Thunderblast was a Grade A coquette and blatant flirt. She was annoying, destructive, and an all around disaster. They had learned early on not to trust her and even not to like her. The feelings were further backed up by Lori and Override's unending enmity. To be frank, the only thing going in Thunderblast's favor as far as the 'bots were concerned was the fact that she had the body of a robotic goddess.
Never had anyone seen her charming side. Red Alert was sure that this was probably a new development. He also had the impression that she wasn't as shallow as she led others to believe. Who knows when it comes to feminine minds? He was still trying to figure out exactly how Override's mind worked.
He was correct. Thunderblast had never known the need to be charming. The Decepticons were pretty one-track in their thinking and easy to control. That had been a big part of Megatron and Starscream's attraction. Neither one had been easy to control or manipulate. All the other Decepticons had been easy as pie. She had decided on a new strategy for the Autobots. Charm their socks off and make a run for it as soon as possible.
"So you haven't seen them in days, you were wondering around looking for them and then you got crushed under that boulder?"
"That's how it happened. I don't know what else you want me to say."
Red Alert slid her a glance. "Well, if that's all you have to say . . ."
"That's all I have. I wish I could do you guys a bigger favor since you helped me and all, but that's really all I've got." she answered breezily.
Against his better judgment, Red Alert found himself believing the femme. "Alright, but I still need to send you to Optimus to ask the questions again."
Thunderblast smiled. "I wouldn't mind."
Even after she left, Red Alert felt alternately uneasy and amused. She had purred the words with such a predatory air that he began to feel sort of sorry for Optimus. He probably wouldn't know what hit him when Thunderblast came onto the scene. But Red was uneasy because he didn't know how his commander would take the Decepticon's interest.
Red Alert needn't have worried. Optimus was ripe for this sort of thing. He was dissatisfied, slightly bored, and not responsible for much of anything really. Thunderblast was too. She was truly interested in Optimus, not just for his strength, but also for his kindness. Kindness was a thing completely alien to Decepticon culture.
So the days passed. The rumbles of unrest were soon dealt with peacefully and the three other Decepticons were found on the other side of Mars from where Thunderblast and the beacon had been found. They'd set up an ice course, and when told about Thunderblast's accident, only showed minor concern. Thundercracker promptly offered for her to come back and play snow bunny. Thunderblast promptly told him to go to the Pit.
It became a familiar sight to the Autobots to see Thunderblast following Prime around like a puppy. None of the Autobots really commented on it since Optimus genuinely seemed to like Thunderblast's company. Much to Lori's chagrin it seemed that Prime actually liked to spoil and coddle the former Decepticon femme. Red Alert however was the one to suggest that Prime was having a field day figuring out how Thunderblast's mind worked. As he pointed out, for someone as shallow as she, it took quite a bit of processing power to keep up with her.
"Doesn't surprise me really," Hot Shot remarked one day to Coby and Bud, "Optimus is seen as a ladies man on Cybertron and Thunderblast is like the Marilyn Monroe of Transformers. They're made to be a pair."
And a pair they were. It was over a year of steady companionship that brought about real feeling to them other than the fascination and novelty of before. It came about one day while Lori and Coby were visiting the base at the same time that Optimus and Co. had returned for a visit as well. The two young humans were walking along a meadow trail, holding hands and generally acting like a young couple in love. Which of course was what they were.
"Coby, have you seen Optimus and the floozy today?" Lori asked out of the blue. She still referred to Thunderblast as "the floozy" even though the two had developed a quasi-friendship. They still lived to insult each other, but one could often find the two of them sitting together and discussing "idiotic men" whenever either Prime or Coby took a wrong step.
"Nah." Coby answered. "Why?"
Lori pointed to a spot to their front and left. "Look. Isn't that the sweetest thing?"
Coby looked up to see Optimus and Thunderblast sitting underneath a tall tree. Thunderblast was leaning into his side while he had wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Her head was on his shoulder, and his head was on top of hers. For all appearances, they were a young couple in love as well.
Coby and Lori shared a look and a smile. They quickly carried back the tale to Jetfire and Red Alert. Both mechs wisely stayed quiet until the two humans left.
Jetfire was the first to speak. "Well, at least Prime's not chomping at the bit to go haring off across the universe anymore."
"True." Red Alert said. "This certainly works to our advantage."
"No femmes in deep space." Jetfire said, a glint of light off of his visor acting as a wink.
"Or at least eligible ones." Red Alert rejoined with a laugh.
Jetfire shook his head. "You think we'll ever find ourselves a femme apiece?"
Red Alert grinned. "Did you ever think during the war that Prime would end up with Thunderblast?"
"If you had told me during the war I would have gotten you hauled in to have your processors examined." Jetfire answered.
"Then there you go. If they could get together anything can happen."