(To the tune of One Jump Ahead from Aladdin)

Lor San Tekka (putting the map in BB8): Here's the map to Skywalker.

Poe Dameron: I'll get this to the General right away.

Lor San Tekka: General? She'll always be Princess Leia to me- and now to Uncle Walt, too.

BB8: Beeppity boppity boo!

Poe: First Order? Here? We've got to get this…

Poe begins singing as he runs toward his X-Wing, BB8 keeping up. Already storm troopers including Finn have begun their attack and Kylo Ren makes his entrance.

Poe: One jump ahead of the troopers,

Away from Kylo Ren's sword.
(Poe's X-Wing blows up.)

We've stayed longer than we can afford.

Get far away from here, BB8!

Kylo Ren: Round up all the Resistance.

Find me that map. No joke.

This order comes directly from Lord Snoke.

Give me the map.

Lor San Tekka: No way.

Kylo Ren (dispatching Lor San Tekka with his light sabre): Take that!

Poe: He just killed Lor San Tekka!

Kylo: Kill them all! Teach them respect!

Finn: I thought storm trooper fights would be for what's right.

Now I know I don't have a clue!

Poe: One jump ahead of the troopers.

One skip ahead of my doom.

I guess I should've used a nom de plume.

One jump ahead of the flame troops.

Keep cool where it's too hot.

Kylo Ren will soon give me a clean shot.

Villagers: Riff-raff!

Stormtroopers (minus Finn): Desert rats!

Villagers: Murderers!

Poe (shooting at Kylo Ren): Take that!

Kylo (freezing the blaster bolt and Poe where he stands): Let's not be too hasty.

Female storm trooper (who grabs Poe with the help of another trooper or two): Grab him, gals. Poe Dameron's tasty!

Finn (falling in with the other stormtroopers): Trained only to fight. Gotta do what's right.
For now I'll just play along.

In the interrogation room aboard the Finalizer, Poe is restrained on the table. Female stormtroopers dance around him, taunting him. Kylo Ren stands over the table, his hand over Poe's head.

Stormtroopers: Ace pilot Poe Dameron's hit the bottom.
Ren will pluck all secrets from his mind.

Kylo: Oh, I see your BB unit's got 'em.

Poe's tossed into a cell, obviously disoriented. Finn picks him up.

Finn: Wanna live to fight? Gotta do what's right.

I'll get you out. Let's grab a TIE!

Poe flies the TIE fighter while Finn takes the gunner position.

Poe: One jump ahead of the cannons.

Finn: Take that!

Poe: Keep ahead of First Order trash!

Finn: Did you see that!

Poe: They're quick, but we're much faster!

Finn: Uh-oh.
We're hit, heading for disaster!

Poe: Here goes. Better throw my hand in.

Wish for happy landin'.

All we gotta do is CRAAAAAAASH!