A/N;
So this is my first Destiel story, or story in general here. I hope you enjoy :)
Castiel didn't think he'd ever see Dean again, so when Dean found him by the stream with a vampire in tow, he couldn't say he wasn't surprised. As much as he would have missed Dean he didn't want to be found. He needed to pay for his sins, he knew that, and purgatory was the best place to suffer. He knew Dean would disagree with him and try find a way for both of them to get out, like he was now, but it was pointless. Dean would be happier without Cas there, making all the mistakes and ruining their lives even more, but Cas was too chicken to ever tell Dean how he felt about it so he went along with him, telling him it wouldn't work and trying his very best to push those idea out of Dean's head.
Benny was a big help, not that Castiel would ever admit that, but he agreed with Cas on the fact that "No, the portal might not work with and Angel." and he constantly told Dean that "The Angel's like a big, glowing beacon. Luring every sort of monster their way." which was also, very true. Nevertheless, Dean ignored them and went on, searching for the portal so he could get them all out...if only he knew.
"C'mon Cas! We don't have all day." Dean said softly, leaving Benny so he could step beside Castiel. Cas nodded but didn't take his eyes off of the clear water in front of them. Purgatory was a place of little colour and completely no joy. The ground was more grey than green and the trees had barely any leaves. The water was clear with the occasional red steam. The sky was the blandest blue you could ever imagine and when the sun shown, the colour was bleak and vivade. Castiel couldn't understand why his father would have made a place so dull.
A shoulder bumped against his and Cas looked up at Dean. "We'll find a way out...I know we will. I promise." Dean said confidently, not looking away from the sky. Cas sighed, there he went again, trying to keep Cas's hopes high, making promises Cas wouldn't let him keep. It wasn't working, obviously, and all Cas wanted to do was disappear, let Dean get on with his life so he could move on. Who was going to miss this stupid angel anyway? "Dean-" Cas began but cut himself short when he saw Dean's face. Dean could be scary when he was determined. "Don't you dare say what I think you're going to. We are getting out of her and there's nothing you can do about it." Dean said firmly. Cas shook his head and looked at Dean. "Dean I know you think this could work but-," "But nothing Cas! When I promise something I always keep that promise. And..damn it Cas! I need you!" Dean yelled, catching Benny's attention. "No you don't Dean! You think you do but you just don't realise..." Cas trailed off, his fit of rage disappearing. He looked down at his dirty shoes, guilt welling up in his stomach making him feel sick. Dean stepped closer and Cas knew Benny had wondered off to give them some privacy.
"I don't realise what Cas?" he pried, his voice loud and demanding. Cas shook his head and mumbled a 'nothing' under his breath. Before he knew what was happening, Cas's back hit a tree. Dean's face was still menacing as he peered down at Cas, angry clouding his vision. "We are getting out of here Castiel. Whether you like it or not." Dean had planted one of his hands on the side of Cas's head as he spoke. Cas shrunk back, Dean never called him by his full name...never. "Are we clear?" Dean asked steadily, watching Castiel's every move. Cas didn't want Dean to get any angrier so he nodded, even though he had a plan that didn't involve leaving Purgatory.
Dean stayed where he was, trapping Cas in between his arms. His eyes searched Castiel's face with urgency, trying to find any evidence of him lying but Cas made sure to keep calm, Dean could be scary without even trying. Dean looked Cas in the yes. "Cas...I need you, more than you know." he whispered delicately, trying not to scare Cas off. Dean was leaning in, Cas could tell, and Cas couldn't help it. He leaned up, feeling Dean's breathe on his face, and kissed him. To Cas's surprise Dean moved forwards and placed own of his hands on Cas's waist protectively. Cas's hands cupped Dean's dirty face and pulled him even closer. The pulled away after a couple of minutes, resting their foreheads together Dean whispered, "I need you Cas...so much.."
Dean didn't remember, Cas knew that for a fact. But as the sat there in a dusty motel room, talking about the case they were working on and having a laugh, Cas knew it was okay.
"Hey Cas, you alright?" Dean's voice was gentle (like it always was whenever he talked to Cas) as he waved a hand in front of his face. "Oh um...yes. I am alright." Cas confirmed with a sad smile. "Alright." Dean flashed him one of his signature heart melting smiles and went back to eating his burger.
"Yeah", Cas though. It was okay.