A/N: I don't know what's wrong with me. I sit down to write some Stitchers fic, and I got all this Camsten up in my head, and then Camille comes out. I don't know what it is, except that besides Camsten (yes, let's just consider these two goobers as one unit), Camille is the most interesting character on the show. I kinda love her and all the fic possibilities that erupt from trying to get into her head. So, I ended up with this little ficlet-y thing of Camille's perhaps, unorthodox reaction to Cameron surviving the Summer Finale cliffhanger and I kinda like it a lot, so enjoy! R&R! Thanks! ~Mac

Also: warning, for like two or three bad words.

Disclaimer: I don't own Stitchers.

Everything After

People always talk about crucial moments, how when they happen everything gets sorted into befores and afters. Everybody has at least one. Camille is so lucky as to have had several, most occurring before the age of eighteen. With her life a checkerboard of before and after, she has learned to accept all the moments the universe throws at her for what they are. She's nothing if not adaptable. But this crucial moment, this defining point where her life has chosen to pivot once again...she doesn't accept it.

Because there was a time before Cameron Goodkin was stupid enough to stick a needle of potassium methochloride in his arm, and now there is just, everything after.

Panic she can handle. She had handled that Spanish flu outbreak like a champ, although that depended a lot on the fact that no one else had panicked then either, and this time everyone is close to hysterical. Also that time, if things didn't work out, then they all ended up dead together, and this time, there's only one life at stake, but somehow that's worse—the knowledge that they'll all survive this even if he doesn't. She can take care of herself, she's been proving that since she was sixteen, but this is different. This isn't about her. She's not even sure that it's about Cameron.

Because they get him back. He flat lines and they all think he's slipping away, that it's too late, but they get him back. His heart starts to beat again, strong and sure. All around the room there is a collective breath of relief before things spin into motion again. Everyone is relieved.

Except Camille.

Camille is angry. She is beyond angry. She is so furious that there are not enough synonyms in the best thesaurus to describe how pissed she is. Not because he survived, but because she had to watch him die in the first place. But more, because she had to see the look on Kirsten's face when he collapsed into her arms. She had to hear Kirsten's screams. She had to drag Kirsten away from the corpse cassette, away from Cameron's body when they all thought he wasn't going to come back.

Camille had to prepare herself for the reality of Cameron actually dying before anyone else. She made the executive decision to give up hope, because someone had to be pulled together for Kirsten. The girl might rebound with perfect precision, but somehow Camille knew this would be different, with or without temporal dysplasia. Cameron transcended all that. Someone needed to be there for Kirsten if it went that way, and it had to be Camille. So, tried to see the world the way Kirsten did and take Cameron's imminent death as a long gone conclusion, that way she could cope until she got her own chance to grieve.

But then he comes back and Camille is angry. Angry about what they've been put through and she's not afraid to show it.

Ayo and the rest of the team are working to get Cameron to the Medical Bay. Linus is fully tearing up, light with relief and disbelief. Maggie is barking orders and surreptitiously sending glares over her shoulder at Les Turner. Kirsten is sobbing in a way that has never been seen on her, and cracking a relieved smile as she follows after Cameron.

And Camille is angry.

They settle Cameron in the Med Bay and Kirsten cements herself in position at his side. He doesn't wake up right away, but no one seems willing to go anywhere until he does. Kirsten certainly isn't moving; she only changes out of her catsuit because Camille shoves her clothes into her arms. So Cameron lays weak in a hospital bed, Kirsten sits beside him with his hand in hers, and Camille and Linus watch through the window from outside the room.

Linus lands a hand on Camille's shoulder, his thumb softly stroking over her skin. "You did a good job."

"Mmm," Camille mumbles without taking her eyes off of Cameron and Kirsten. She should probably honor him with more than an incoherent muttering, because this is most likely his way of apologizing for his jealousy over her training to take the helm, because this day has given them all a little perspective. But her head is fuzzy with unexpressed ire and she's trying to save it for its intended target.

"He's going to be okay," Linus squeezes her shoulder once before he lets his hand drop away.

"I know he is," Camille replies. She doesn't add the question that nags at her: but what about the rest of us?

It takes a little longer than they hoped, but Cameron eventually opens his eyes. Another wave of relief makes its way through the Lab. Kirsten dives into his arms as soon as he's conscious and stays there. The rest of the team starts to disperse now that the crisis has been averted. Until it's just Cameron with Kirsten wrapped around him, Camille, Linus and Ayo flitting in and out to check Cameron's vitals. Linus goes next, his eyes drooping from exhaustion. He offers to have Camille join him, but she just glances toward her roommate as an explanation and refuses.

Reluctant is not the word for Kirsten's reactions to careful suggestions that she go home to rest up too. She levels a cold stare at each person who dares recommend it, including Camille who retreats to a corner to wait out the blonde's stubborn vigil. Kirsten's brain might not be able to tell what hour after hour passing feels like, but the rest of her body will eventually feel the consequences of her endless beside watch. Finally, Cameron has to request that Kirsten retrieve some arbitrary thing form his apartment for him, not to complain about the attention, but because he knows as well as anyone that it is the only way to get Kirsten out of the Lab. Even then she waivers for a moment before agreeing.

"I'll stay with him," Camille says as an added assurance.

"You'll call me if anything—you'll call me," Kirsten says. It's not a question even if it's phrased like one.

"I'll be fine, Stretch," Cameron says. "Take your time."

"I'll be back," Kirsten squeezes Cameron's hand in hers before she gets up to leave.

Camille walks Kirsten to the door out of the Med Bay and closes it behind her once she's disappeared down the hall. Then she turns on Cameron. "You're a fuckin' idiot, Goodkin."

"Good to see you too, Camille," Cameron says and groans as he shifts in his bed.

"I'm not going to feel sorry for you. You're the one who tried to kill yourself. I have no sympathy for your ails," Camille says.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Cameron looks away. They should have kept a tally of how many times those words have left his lips since he woke up. And how many times, the look in his eyes says he would do it all over again if it came down to it.

"No, not okay," Camille shakes her head. "Not okay at all."

"I know I scared everyone—"

"No, you didn't scare everyone. You bulldozed everyone. Fucking destroyed us. Kirsten especially."

He at least looks contrite about that.

"And then you weren't here to take care of her. And you're the only one who really knows how to. And you almost left us alone with her, to clean up the mess you made," Camille is even angrier that she's starting to cry. It was easier when she was just mad. Now, she has stupid tears streaming down her face as she relives it in her head, her makeup is running and she probably looks awful—and that just pisses her off more because it is all Cameron's fault.

"And you didn't see her and you didn't hear her. And I had to. And I'm never going to forgive you for that, because I want to go back to the time when we didn't know what it took to hurt her. So damn you, Cameron, and your hero complex," Camille takes a deep breath through her sniffling and uses both hands to wipe away tears.

"Camille—"

"Don't apologize again," Camille stops him. "Just know, and I swear to God, I'm being completely, one hundred percent sincere when I say, if you ever do another reckless, boneheaded thing like that to hurt her again, I will kill you."

Cameron cracks a small smile and ducks his head. "I don't intend to."

"Good," Camille takes another deep breath. She sees Ayo approaching through the window and she fidgets on her feet as she grapples with her exit line. With her head down and one foot out the door, she adds, "I'm glad you're alive."

Cameron stretches out and relaxes against his pillows as she goes. He breathes out, "Me too."

Camille slips past Ayo as she exits into the hall. She plans to grab a coffee while Ayo checks him out before she returns to hold Kirsten's place during her inevitably short absence. With her anger spent, Camille finds she is filled with relief that he made it through. Not just because he is her friend and she would have been devastated to lose him, but because she doesn't have to know what actually losing him would have done to Kirsten. What Camille said is true. Cameron is the only one that really knows how to take care of Kirsten. So, it's possible that a little bit of the anger Camille felt was at herself, because she knows that she never would have been able to take care of Kirsten the way he did. Cameron is irreplaceable and Camille doesn't want to know what it takes to fill his shoes, because she knows she can't, not entirely.

Camille's life has been broken into befores and after time and time again. Maybe she envies Kirsten somewhat for not being able to experience those the same way, but there's something comforting about knowing that crucial moments are not only endings, they're beginnings too. While her life split yet again when Cameron injected himself, she's just glad that he's around for everything that comes after, because, if anything has been made clear, it's that they can't do it without him.

-fin-