Oh, Edward!

One Shot.

Jasper was peacefully minding his own business and strolling down the hall, thinking of meeting Alice this evening in the top of their favorite tree to watch the sunset. He smiled. Watching the sunset was just a thing they did everyday, it was interesting to watch time pass by when they were trapped in the second they changed. It was just something that never got old.

Passing the doors he heard talking. Fighting actually. He paused at the closed door from which the sound was coming from.

'Oh, come now Bella, it won't hurt that much.'

'I still don't want to, Edward.'

Silence.

'Fine, fine!' Bella said defensively. 'But I swear to God if you hurt me...'

Edward chuckled. 'Then I swear to God I won't hurt you. Sit down there.... Ready?'

'I suppose.'

Silence. The sound of a zipper. 'That's better.' Edward said. 'Now I can actually see what i'm doing.'

Jasper blinked. Once, twice, three times. He couldn't comprehend what he was hearing. He was shaken out of his trance by Bella's moan.

'Edward!'

'I didn't even touch you!' Edward protested.

'Edward! You promised...'

'Fine. I'm sorry, love.'

Silence. Jasper used his vampire speed to get Emmet and Rosalie, asking them to come quickly, which of course they did, just out of curiosity. All of them leaned against the door, although they didn't need to - they already could hear crystal clear.

Something heavy dropped on the floor. 'Oh, for God's sake-'

Edward sighed. 'Love, if I go any gentler, I won't be able to push it through, let alone pull it out.' He chuckled. Rosalie covered her mouth with her hand, Jasper's eyes went as wide as saucers and Emmet had to literally eat his fist.

'Ok, again. I promise I won't make a mess.' Edward laughed. 'Well, more than there already is...'

Bella huffed and replied. 'You better not. Or else....'

'Or else what?'

'..... Good point.' she squeaked.

'OW OW EDWARD!!!!'

'Look, if I go faster, it'll hurt for a less amount of time. Is that what you want?'

'No! I don't want to do this at all!'

'Oh no you don't.' Edward breathed. 'I'm not letting you go till we get this done.'

It wasn't funny anymore. All three vampires stared at the door, disgusted. Alice danced down the hall to join them. Jasper managed to cover her mouth before she said anything. With one hand still muting the pixie, Japer put his index finger to his lips, signaling for her to be quiet, then released her and went back to listening.

'Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow...'

'You're such a girl.' Edward tutted.

'No kidding.' Bella gasped.

'Can't you... enjoy this somehow?'

'Enjoy [i]this[/i]? Yeah... Right...'

Silence again.

'[b]OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OH MY GOD EDWARD PLEASE STOP[/b]!!' Bella shrieked.

Jasper couldn't take it anymore. He kicked the locked door down, breathing heavily, with his brother, sister and lover behind him. 'Look, seriously, Edward she said she didn't want to have- he stopped short.

Edward and Bella were staring at him with wide eyes, clearly shocked. Bella was sitting in the only chair in Edward's bedroom, A book was strewn on the otherwise clean floor along with the hoodie Bella was previously wearing. Edward standing behind her.

.... Holding a hairbrush.

[i]Damn.[/i]