A/N - Another short one-shot, once again inspired by random MSN conversations (they happen alot). Hope you like.
xXx
"I'm gonna either slap that girl or snog her... haven't decided yet"
Nothing could dampen Meat's mood, not even bad alchohol and stale peanuts. She's always up for a little fun, and the way her eyes are glued to the bleached blonde across the room proves it.
"You're kidding?" It's a question, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to know the answer.
"Why would I be kidding?" I shrug in response, absently scratching at the bar top.
"Didn't know you went for the slutty blonde look" She snorts, almost choking on her beer, before grinning.
"Hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it" I glance over at the girl; short red leather skirt (and I meat short), a shirt so ripped it's not surprising that a crowd of people are drooling over her. She's pretty, I guess, but the sluttiness puts me off.
"I wouldn't try that if you could promise me a lifetime supply of vodka" Meat laughs.
"Well I think I might" I roll my eyes, spotting the way the girl is all over the men, but completely ignoring the women around her.
"Meat, that girl's straight. And I don't just mean plain old heterosexual" I pause, looking back at the girl then turn to Meat. "She's like... Barbie heterosexual"
"Sid, you and I both know that any girl would go gay for me"
"And why not" I say, fighting to not roll my eyes again. "I mean you're so modest, for one" She catches the sarcasm (how could anyone miss it?) and raises an eyebrow, setting her beer bottle on the bar and placing her hand next to mine.
"Like you'd say no" It's my turn to choke this time.
"I've managed to control myself so far" 'Barely' A little voice in the back of my mind mutters, sounding bizarrely like Mot. Meat's grin rivals that of a Cheshire cat, and she leans in a little closer.
"So if I were to offer right now, you'd turn me down?" This woman either doesn't know the meaning of personal space, or she's trying to make me squirm. I'm voting for the latter.
"I didn't say that" I shrug slightly, trying to remain calm. "I was thinking it, but I didn't say it". Her grin turns into a sly smirk, and she leans in even closer. She's all of half an inch away before she reaches a hand out behind me, grabs a handful of whatever crisps were on there and hops off of her stool.
"Night night, sweetheart" She winks, licking salt from her fingers as she turns to leave. Mot walks in a few seconds later and jumps up onto the vacated seat.
"Alright?" I grunt in response and lower my head to lean on the bar.
"That woman is the spawn of Satan"
"I know" Mot says, patting me on the back. "But you'd still shag her" I laugh, then groan, knowing she's telling the complete and utter truth.