Title: Inside Her Head
Author: Kamika Farinas
Fandom: Card Captor Sakura
Rating: PG
Charater(s)/Pairing: Meiling Li, mention of Syaoran Li/Sakura Kinomoto, hint of Syaoran Li/Meiling Li
Summary: Suddenly, a flash of lightning brightened the way in front of her and the sense of dread plummeted to her stomach.
Notes: I rarely write CCS stories anymore… so if this is completely horrible, I apologize! Also, I wanted to show how Meiling discovered they were engaged so I added in the dialogue between her, Syaoran and Sakura. But I wasn't sure of the arrangement. So if it doesn't work, do tell!
She ran through the streets with the images in front of her blurring intensely. Whether that was because of rain or because of the tears that were flowing from her face, she didn't know. But all she wanted to get out of there. Suddenly, a flash of lightning brightened the way in front of her and the sense of dread plummeted to her stomach.
Looking around, she found the best shelter she could. The awning of one of the stores was right in front of her. She dashed towards it as quickly as she could, trying her best, in the meantime, to keep from slipping.
Managing her best, she collapses against the closed store window, wondering what had happened to her life.
The 16-year-old Meiling Li sighed before leaning back, almost smacking her head hard against the glass. She was vaguely aware that she was soaking wet as well as the cold wind that usually accompanied the summer storms. However, at this point, she didn't think she could care.
Meiling… We have something to tell you.
Her mind was in a deep haze and she could barely comprehend just what had happened. The rain seemed to pour even harder than a few minutes ago and once again, a roar of thunder forewarned the coming of lightning seconds later. With a choking sob, Meiling felt her tears flow harder, her breathing started to hitch, and her mind started to pound.
It wasn't as though she had been in denial the entire time… It was just that she REALLY didn't see it coming. They weren't even old enough yet, she thought anyway. But of course, Syaoran and Sakura were patient enough to wait. Yet the bomb of them being engaged was too much for her.
Oh, don't tell me you guys aren't joining me for dinner again! I was left alone last time and Wei still hasn't been able to fully clean off the cookie dough from the kitchen ceiling.
It had been years since Meiling had been told by her former fiancée that he had fallen for Sakura. She had always felt that she had already made her peace with the news. After all, in their promise, hadn't she made an exception that they would end their engagement if and only if he had found someone to love?
She had moved on too as well, hadn't she? She had dated other people, even had a serious relationship for about a year until they had broken up. She didn't feel anything for him anymore.
That's not it, Meiling-chan! Syaoran and I-well, we… We kinda…
So why was she now hiding away, leaning against a store window, soaking wet, and just waiting for the rain to end which didn't seem to be anytime soon?
Why, she cried to herself? Wasn't it enough that he was happy with Sakura? Wasn't it enough that she could see with her own two eyes that they were made for each other? Who was she to get in the middle of true love, after all? What RIGHT did she have to do that?
Half of her knew that it was enough. That was the rational part of her, after all. That was the half that thought like Tomoyo did. It felt content to be happy for her cousin.
Was just being content even enough anymore?
Oh, come on, you two! Just spit it out already. The stuttering around is getting a little weird.
The other half was obviously illogical, because it made her feel as though he could definitely be happier with her. After all, he hadn't even tried back then. Of course, he had just been a kid. One who had thought, at the time, that girls must've had cooties and that since he had grown up with Meiling, it didn't count.
It caused her to think that maybe if Syaoran just dated her at least once, it'd be the most amazing day. He'd open his eyes and she'd be the best thing in his life. Wasn't that just how some things worked? After all, they had known each other since they were practically since they were each in the womb.
But there was still Sakura. Meiling barely had any words to describe just how much she felt for the girl. Nor any words to describe what she saw between her and Syaoran. If anything, Meiling could confidently say that there was definitely nothing alike about the two of them. Sometimes, she wondered if that's exactly why Syaoran had chosen Sakura over her.
We're getting married, Meiling.
Shaking her head slightly, she wiped the thought from her mind and quickly cleared her thoughts. Numbly, she picked up on the fact that the rain had definitely lightened up since the last time she had noticed it. She noted, seconds later, that even the lightening and thunder had stopped. Meiling, however, made no move to budge from her spot at this point.
She supposed that Syaoran might've been looking for her. A minute after that thought, she caught the fact that she had added a "might" to it. When did she start to think that Syaoran had wiped her away from his life? That she had become very insignificant to him? Thinking back, she laughed dully and realized that she had no idea when the feeling had come. She thought it must've been adding up over the years.
I… Wow. Um. Congratulations. Did you tell Daidouji?
Shutting her eyes closed, Meiling thought that maybe she could just stay there for tonight. After all, Tomoeda was rarely known for its criminal actions. It was safe for now and she was free with herself and the notion of such a thing suddenly caused the feeling of dread to double in her stomach. Since when did she dread being alone? That's what she had been thinking anyway, until strains of noise started to catch her ear.
Frantically, Meiling stood up and started to look around, ignoring the weight of her clothes and how strange it clung to her body. She suddenly felt her eyes start to well up with tears and almost as a side note, she wondered when she had even stopped.
She already knows. I told her I was proposing.
Her name was being called out by an all too familiar voice and her voice caught in her throat as she tried to stop the well of hope that sprung in her chest. It couldn't be Syaoran. Her mind had to have been playing jokes on her.
But minutes later, her eyes caught a figure in the distance. It seemed to catch her, as well. And Meiling was almost overwhelmed with joy when she linked Syaoran with the mysterious figure. "Meiling!" he called out, his voice full of concern.
Sobbing, Meiling ran towards him, her brain not controlling her actions anymore. She quickly closed their distance and soon, she could feel his arms around her, squeezing her tightly.
Well… Congratulations! I'm-I'm gonna go talk to Daidouji about this. She's gonna want to plan something for you two.
With a soft voice, she heard Syaoran whisper, "We were so worried, Meiling. When you said you were going to Tomoyo's, we called a few minutes later to make sure you arrived. Then Tomoyo told us you hadn't arrived at all."
Not wanting to release him, she just hugged him tighter and listened to his story. Meiling's mind was reeling though. She wondered if this meant anything. If him coming meant that she wasn't completely out of his heart. She hoped, anyway.
Syaoran smiled against the girl's head, grateful to have found his cousin, more than he'd ever show. "Why don't we get you back to the apartment? You're probably gonna want some warm clothes, dry too," he commented.
Looking up at him, she saw the concern she hadn't even know she wanted to see. Maybe Syaoran was dating Sakura. Maybe they were going to get engaged. But she had to believe that Syaoran would always have a part of his heart just for her. Just for Meiling. And she supposed as long as their bond stayed alive, she could definitely live with that. (She also supposed it wouldn't be out of the ordinary to also keep the hope that maybe… Just maybe they might have something that was just theirs.)
Moving to a position beside him and keeping an arm around him, she leaned against his shoulder and nodded, "I'd like that." Looking up again, she grinned brightly, "I'd really like that."
There was always hope.