A/N: Ok so this is my first time writing in 4 years so try to be nice. Now this will be yaoi, boy x boy, that sort of thing. Don't like don't read. Relationship developments may be very slow I will warn you now but I hope things get better. reviews make updates come faster but real life always come first. This will be Ichigo x Grimmjow with maybe a little Shinji x Nnoitra.

Now I would to express my gratitude to Mistress Penelopye for creating and feeding my love for both these couples through her works of art. I encurage everyone who has not read them to do so asap.

With all that said enjoy and R&R :)

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Conversions disorder, that's what they had called it. Two weeks in a white room with the constant buzzing and beeping of machines and that is all they had come up with. It is all in your head they might as well have said. This was a load of crap.

When the doctor had come into the room, papers in hand, the young man had expected an answer to what was wrong with him. Instead all he received was two words. Conversions disorder, a condition that stemmed from a traumatic event and caused neurological symptoms though there was no neurological cause.

Picking up a small pad of lined paper held together by a spiral of metal the angry male quickly scratched out a question to the doctor.

"So in other words 'It's in your head, get the fuck over it and stop wasting our time?'" The words were deep in the paper and the lines quick portraying the anger he was feeling. Turning the page to the other male he watched as eyes scanned in the words and awaited a response.

The doctor frowned at the statement before speaking in a very soft and calm voice. "Oh no Mr. Kurosaki, this condition is, well just that, a condition and needs to be treated as such. Now there is no medication for your particular problem but we can recommend some of the best psychologists withing city limi. . ." The doctor froze mid sentence at what the other had written out.

"Like fuck I'm going to talk psycho-babble bull shit with some dick who thinks he knows everything. I just want to get out of this hospital." Again the words were seeped in anger even if they were only ink on paper.

The doctor sighed before speaking. " Well Mr. Kurosaki that is completely in your right to do. We just require a few more tests and your friend here will be more then welcome to take you home." For the first time since the conversation started the third person in the room made a sound.

"Thank you doctor." Blond shoulder length hair swayed as the third male inclined his head in a subtle bow. Returning the gesture the doctor made his way to the door before exiting the room with a soft 'click'. Slipping his feet over the sterile floor the sweet blond male reached out and placed a hand gently over his best friends shoulder while whispering "Ichi?" in a concerned voice.

Ichigo staired out at where the doctor had closed the door behind him lost in thought. The doctor had said he could go home but where was home? Not back to the house he had spent the first 19 years of his life surly. No one expected him to return to the place where everything had happened. With that though he was thrown back into a tunnel of memories.

He never knew where the memories would began and this time was no different. He was in his dinning room with his father and two younger sisters. Yuzu, the smallest of them all, was serving out rice into bowls and setting them gently down onto the table in front of the four set places with a sweet smile caressing her face. Laughter filled her eyes at the scene before her.

Isshin, Ichigo's father, was on his knees hand thrown into the air above his head wailing loudly at a larger then life poster of a beautiful woman. Tears streamed down his face as he asked the woman why their son hated him so as to refuse to sit and have the wonderful meal their loving daughter had prepared for them.

Karin, his other sister, had her face buried in the palm of her hand in embarrassment towards her father. All Ichi-nii had done was say that he was late for school and had to hurry to an early class. That had set off the waterworks and angst ridden screaming of their father to the ridicules image of their late mother on the wall.

Ichigo watched a normal morning in the Kurosaki household unfold in his memories. This had been the last morning everyone had been happy together. The last time he had seen Yuzu's smile or heard Karin's 'hmpf' at their fathers ridicules actions. Sadly though it was not the last time he heard his dad scream.

The memory quickly changed to one of a completely different mood. Yuzu's smile was erased from her face and replaced by a unconscious frown, blood flowing from a wound on her head and pooling on the cold cement floor beneath her. Karin to was laying on the cement but her blood was not coming from her head, no it was spread all over her thighs that were bare from the waist down. She was conscious and crying softly.

Her crying was easily drowned out by Ichigo's fathers screams. He had fought for hours to be strong for his children, silent for their sake. It was only in the last thirty minutes that Isshin Kurosaki had began to scream. Blood seeped from each of his fingertips where his nails had once been. They had each been pulled off slowly one at a time in the hopes of pulling a scream from silent lips. They had failed. Isshin had been silent the whole time. It was when they had began flaying him alive that the screams had began.

First they had heated the knife with a small propane torch until the edges of the blade were turning red with the heat. Once the torch went out it was tossed to the side and the knife was brought to the side of Isshin's face where his cheek met his ear. Slowly the steel pressed to flesh with a sickening hiss before more pressure was exerted and blood began to pool at the knifes edges. Slowly it's heated edge slid through the males flesh as if it was butter.

To Isshin's credit the knife made it halfway across his face before he let the first scream tear from his throat. His resolve broken he could no longer hold back the screams of pain at what was being done to him. Once they had reached the man's nose they pulled the knife away taking with it the entirety of the right side of Isshin's face. Blood began to leak from the wound, the flow slowed by the burns caused by the heated knife.

The touch to his shoulder brought him forth from his memories and back into reality as he jumped and turned to where the touch had come from. Two sets of brown eyes connected, one filled with concern the other something unidentifiable. Ichigo could not help but let out a sad smile. Shinji, his best friend for as long as he could remember, longer even, smiled softly at him. He had been the one in the hospital room when Ichigo had woken up.

The slow beeping tore through Ichigo's silent world as he slowly regained consciousness. He had no idea where he was. The bed was soft, unlike where he had spent the last few days, and the air was crisp and clean. Distant voices were but a muttering sound in what must have been the distance. Light assaulted his eyes through the thin crack where both lids met and he frowned before forcing them to slowly open.

He immediately knew he was in a hospital, The room was white and the walls bare, save for a few of what he could only assume were medical charts. To the left of the bed he occupied were a row of machines, numbers littering there surfaces and wires protruding from their sides. The soft beeping noise that had awoken him seemed to be coming from the machine that had a small box displaying a slow zigzagging line. The wires from this machine ran to him and connected to his chest and hand.

Turning his head to the right he noticed two things. First was a long pole with metal hangers protruding from the top, resembling a coat rack. Attached to the rack was a hanging bag of liquid that ran down a thin line and connected to his arm through a needle piercing into his hand. An I.V, drip. Secondly he noticed a blond haired male sleeping awkwardly in what looked to be the most uncomfortable chair in existence.

Frowning he made a move to shift in the bed only to cause pain to shoot through his chest and the bed to grown under the shift in weight. Light brown eyes shot open at the sound and looked to the bed as a huge smile spread across a sleep ridden face. "Ichi, oh my god." The blond haired male spoke before launching himself to the bed and pulling his best friend into a tight hug.

More pain coursed through Ichigo as he was squeezed firmly by the only other person in the room and he frowned. Reaching the hand with the heart rate monitor attached to it up he gave a small push to the others chest. As the blond pulled back Ichigo gestures with his hands wildly in the hopes to get the message 'water' to his friend. His throat felt as if he had not drank anything in weeks. Though thinking back that was a high possibility.

Shinji taking a moment to figure out what his friend wanted finally smiled and made quick work of fetching Ichigo a glass of water. Wincing slightly at the pained expression that crossed the red heads face as the water passed between his lips then down his throat Shinji waited patiently for his friend to finish before speaking.

"So how you feeling Ichi?" His voice was soft and concern filled the room with just that simple sentence.

Ichigo slowly pulled the glass from his lips and frowned as he mentally tried to asses himself. He was in quite a bit of discomfort, that he was sure of but everything seemed fine. His brain was foggy to but he assumed that was courtesy of what ever was flowing into his blood stream via the I.V. Finally deciding he could be worse he opened his mouth to reply to the other male only to find himself unable to speak.

After that everything that had happened to him seemed to return in a rush of memories, though he could not help but wish they were only nightmares. Once the heart rate monitor had started to go haywire the room was quickly filled with nurses pushing his friend away from him and quickly going over all the machines. That was all he remembered as one of the women must have given him something because he was quickly lulled back to sleep.

"Ichi, you ok?" Shinji spoke once more to his friend was he seemed to be lost in his own world. This was beginning to become a normal occurrence since the the red head had awoken two weeks ago. Not that the blond could blame Ichigo at all after everything he had been through.

Thrown from his memories by Shinji's voice Ichigo forced a quick smile to his lips before it was quickly replaced by a frown as he scribbled down what his body would not let him say aloud. "He said I can go home, but I can't go back THERE. Where am I going to go Shin?" As he turned his note pad for his friend to read he let a small frown mar his face.

Shinji read the words out loud to himself quietly before speaking to his best friend. "Don't be silly Ichi, your coming home with me. I got the pull out, and you can sleep in my room." A smile lit his face. It had been a few years since he and the red head had had a sleep over and the prospect of living together, even with Ichigo in the state he was in, caused the blonds mood to brighten.

Turning the small notebook back to himself Ichigo began to scribble down a few more words. "Thanks Shin, I owe you big." A flip of the wrist revealed the words to the blond.

Again the blond could not hide the frown that marred his face all of a sudden. " You don't owe me anything baka. The fuck are friends for?" he gently lifted a hand and moved a long strand of orange hair from his friends vision before replacing his frown with a smirk. "You know what, the first thing we are doing when we bust you out of this place is getting our hair done." Shinji giggled in an after thought.

Ichigo tossed his head slightly to return his hair to the way it had been before writing to his friend again. "Oh no, maybe I should stay here." He joked as a smile covered his face and the blond let out a sharp bark of laughter at the words. 'Tomorrow everything will change again.' the red head thought to himself.