Author's note: Short, sweet and right to the point! One of my onexshots.
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I am in black in front of my Sister Erika's coffin, I do not cry. My pride I have inherited from my newly married husband keeps me from crying. I soon am lost in my emotions and find no room for pride and I feel tears welling. I simply suck it up and stand.
No tears fall from my eyes, no sobs, and no wails even though my heart aches deeply. Danm pride…I want to cry.
I left this family, I married one of my own kind…I fell in love. I hear then whisper behind my back about how his family changed me. I am cold, selfish, and stuck up…I show no respect. They have no respect for me. This is my sister and why can't they understand that I will not allow myself to cry. It's half my pride and half the fact that I do not believe she is dead. I still do not cry.
If his family had changed me then I guess I am not my family…maybe that's why I stand farther away from them. I asked my husband not to come, he persisted. I did not cry.
My family who once loved now is cold and harsh…I expected that. I blame them for my sister's death and they blame me for turning away. My sister and me grew up together and we grew apart as we got older. My parents were the types who wanted us married to rich men and barefoot and pregnant. They pushed her into her marriage with the murderer.
I married a wizard, except not for money but love…his family are murderers or 'death eaters.' Love had me join The Dark Lord… I do not cry.
I blame them for her death, for she cannot now. Her husband was rich and powerful but used his anger against my sister. He was abusive and hateful and my sister was sweet and loving…I start to wonder if she smiles down on me or cries. I will not cry.
The whispers are back again as I hear then talk away. I should be use to it now but it hurts when it comes from people you once loved. I stop myself from crying.
They want me to wail and beg and cry…why? For them to feel pity for me, over there mistake. My pride has once again found its way and I will not cry.
After the long morning in front of her flower-covered coffin I stand with no emotion, there is no sadness in my eyes, no tears and my dark makeup stays on my pale face. My mother who is sobbing and needing support passes me and mumbles something about "wishing the freak had died." My father says nothing and doesn't even give me the time of day. I expected that. I'm not his little girl, I am his mistake in his eyes. I am the magical mess he couldn't clean up…I am his dirt and his loathing disgusting daughter. I will not cry!
I take deep breaths, I feel my stomach almost sick. Its churning wants me to throw up. I Hate no I LOATHE the man mourning in the chair…he killed her. Her husband the man who was supposed to protect her to have and to hold through sickness and in health. Somehow in his anger he forgot that vow and now she is dead. I want to hex him, use the killing curse but my husband and his parents thought it would be best to lock my wand away from me… so I am wandless and unarmed and I will not cry.
After tears were shown from the other members I go home back to the cold and large manor…lock myself in the chamber…. I did and will not cry.
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2 Months have passed I have been given news that I am expecting a child. I am rejoicing but I still have hurt. He sees right through me and helps me. His parents are excited for the birth of a new heir to there fortune. Doctor then told them that if I don't cheer up…I might harm the baby. He ruined it I just wanted to be alone I just wanted to mourn my sister. My Husband has different plans.
He pulls me into a room after the doctor leaves, holds me and tells me to cry. I cried. That's all I needed to do…was cry, wail, and sob. He whispered to me "Its okay to cry." I love him and he completes me. After my mourning is through I kiss him and say "I'm thinking of naming the baby Erik or Erika after my sister." He kisses my head as a sweet reminder that everything is going to be okay.
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"Cracks in the sidewalks are just little reminders that anyone can fall apart no matter hoe strong they are."
Author's note: good? Bad? R&R I know my grammar isn't that great. I am trying my best.