"Hey Gil..." Alfred said, placing a single rose on the grave. He knelt down and wiped the dirt and snow off of it.

"Sorry if I haven't been visiting often. Some friend I am. Things have been pretty busy these past few days." He said "Hard to believe that it's been a year already, huh? It's as if just yesterday, you and Matthias were dragging me to the bar." He chuckled lightly, although filled with grief

"You were so young. I honestly thought I'd be the first to go. Matthias misses you too, you know. He and Lukas finally got married... Hahah. We always knew it would happen. Those two were crazy for each other and they didn't even know it." He tried to laugh

"Francis ang Antonio are just fine, by the way... Antonio and Lovino finally got engaged... The feisty italian finally admitted his feelings for our friend. And Francis... he's changed a lot you know. He doesn't drink wine as often as he used to and he doesn't hit on girls left and right anymore. Arthur really changed him." He pulled a packet of cigarette from his pocket and lit it.

"Ludwig... hahah. Don't worry, your little bro's just fine. He finally proposed to Feliciano. About time, huh? Roderich and Elizabeta are getting married soon. They were supposed to be getting married the day you..." He tried to stop himself crying, and decided that he just can't say it. "...but they decided to pospone it atleast a year after."

"It's already been a year, huh? A year since you left us." He stared into empty space.

He faced the grave again, tears falling from his eyes "Why, Gil? Why? I knew life was tough on you, but killing yourself wasn't the solution!" Ah, yes. A year from now was the day Gilbert Beilschmidt took his own life. Everyone was devastated, of course. They were shocked, Gil wasn't the type of person to do such a thing.

"Did you think about what others will feel? How it would affect them?" He clenched his fist "For the first time ever, I saw Ludwig cry. As soon as they heard the news, Francis and Antonio immediately flew from France and Spain to the U.S. They didn't even have time to give an explanation to Arthur and Lovino! Roderich and Hungary cancelled their own wedding for you. Why, Gil? Why? Everyone cared!"

"And what about Mattie? He was really affected by your death. My little brother... Matthew... he's a strong kid, you know? He can take anything. He spent his whole life trying to get noticed. I knew that I was a total douche. I knew that I was a jerk. But Mattie... not even once did he become mad at me." He said "Mattie is the type of person who would just smile at any problem life gives him... But now? I can't even see that guy anymore!"

"I can't see that guy who used to make me pancakes. I can't see the passive-aggressive canadian who gets riled up at hockey games. He doesn't even play hockey anymore! I can't even see his smile... And it's all because of you. You thought no one loved you? Then what are we? Now, Mattie seemed to have lost his will to live..." He cried

"As his brother... it hurts to see him like this." He mumbled

"Remember when he first introduced you to the family? Hahah. You were surprised to know that Francis was our cousin. Remember how I almost stabbed you with a fork, the first time you and mattie did it? Hahah." He laughed bitterly, just to stop the tears from falling. "Remember when you asked for my permission to propose to mattie...?" He whispered

*

"Hey Al... uh... is it okay if... uh..." Gilbert fidgeted. He was the awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt! He can do this!

"Yes?" Al answered with a creepy grin in his face "If it involves my brother, I'd say you have 50% chance of living."

"Listen, I'm serious about Birdie. He's cute and awesome and I didn't even know cute and awesome go well together, until I met him. I'm simply asking for your blessing, dude. Can I marry your brother?" He asked

"Haha! Of course dude! You're awesome and honestly, you're my best bet for Matthew. Just promise me one thing, though..."

"Of course, anything."

"Don't you ever make him cry." Alfred said with a serious expression on his face

"Wouldn't dream of it." He answered

*

"Wouldn't dream of it? Hahah. Wouldn't dream of it, dude? You promised me that you will never make him cry. You promised. YOU FUCKING PROMISED! Matthew cries himself to sleep every night. I wouldn't have let him marry you if I knew that it would end like this." By now, hot tears were rolling from his cheek.

"And what about Gisela, your adopted daughter? Do you know how hard it is to answer her whenever she asks 'where's daddy'? It was hard for the poor kid since you were gone. You were her father..." He wiped the tears from his face.

"Mattie's almost back to normal now, although the spark in his eyes are no longer there. I can tell that he's only keeping it together for Gisela. Is this what you wanted?" He wiped the last of his tears and stared at the grave, as if expecting it to reply.

He stayed silent for a moment, before finally calming down. "I'm sorry Gil, I don't know what came over me. I guess it was our fault too. We should've noticed."

"I... I-I promise I'll visit again soon. I'm dropping by to Mattie's place. Rest in peace, bro." He composed himself, before standing up.

"Good bye, Gil..."

Before he left, a lone tear fell from his eyes, as he took one last look at the grave stone.

*

In loving memory of

Gilbert Beilschmidt

1990-2016

"A friend, a father and a lover. He will be missed."