Surest surefire way to die

by Steven Kanon

Surest estate is always looking for able and willing heroes to drive head first into danger for the pursuit of riches and glory. All while hacking and slashing away through hordes and hordes of unholy monsters, greedy lowly humans, intelligent pigs, fish people, and otherworldly hentai monsters. All while playing some sweet tunes?

1. Prologue

Prologue: We are all going to fucking die.

For some life is a adventure full of companions, destiny, and legendary fights to decide the fate of a world. Unfortunately that's only for some people and not all. One such normal soul is our resident bard currently in a carriage, upside down, on fire, in midair, on the most dangerous road of his life going to the most dangerous place of his life, and surrounded by bandits.

Based on the bards rather horrified expression he was really wishing he was wearing a neon green tunic with a equal as neon green sock hat unlike his brown tunic and messy brown bed head. Maybe with a legendary unbreakable sword and shield rather then a his hand made shabby lute. Curiousity was cruel however making the bard embark on this journey only to die before he even got there, gravity was also cruel as it caused the carriage to go crashing into the stone ground.

Truly Steven the bard had made the wrong life choice deciding to live his life as something he's not. That being a strong, reliable, and smart hero. Instead the weak, cowardice, and dumb liar did the only thing he could think of. Scream like a little bitch the whole way down holding onto his lute for dear life.

(First fanfic ever criticize everything I do wrong, also this is just a short intro the normal chapters will be longer when I get around to doing them.)