Hiyayaka (Indifferent)

Standard Disclaimer Applies

First gen fic. Wow, go me. XD

Also the first attempt to work on 1st person view with Sanzou. It was fun, but quite challenging. The way he thinks is nothing like my own attitude, which made this story quite difficult. I'm pretty proud of the result, but…

This fic is dedicated and inspired by the fact that it's Sanzou's birthday. I wonder, is anyone else is writing a birthday fic for him, too? So, to our favorite dysfunctional blonde monk, here is your character study/-centric story. The series just wouldn't be the same without you.

Enjoy. And that goes out to the fans and Sanzou.

Idiots. The whole lot of them. They're entirely, irrefutably, fucking moronic.

Believe it or not, I wouldn't say something like that without strong conviction. I really, honestly know they are, without a doubt, imbeciles in every which way. In a certain shape, way, or form, the three other people I'm forced to travel with have proved themselves, time and time again, irrevocably and undoubtedly foolish.

Like children. Or at least something damn close to it.

Behind me, I heard the humming of a listless tune. A song that any emergent monk of Togenkyou would remember; the hymn that my master always sang to me when I was still an infant. The one I had, inadvertently, passed on to a certain dim-witted monkey who came to live—unwillingly, might I add?—with me in the temple.

Bakasaru. I swear, he really is, from common sense to personality.

Honestly, it's a miracle to me that he even knows it. Must've heard me intoning it quietly in the past three years. Knowing it, it could've been when I least expected him to hear. Goku always knew how to surprise me, and even now, that fact aggravates me a little bit. And you wouldn't have expected it, but being aware of this surprising astuteness makes me somewhat proud. If only a little. The only person that I've talked with Goku about is Hakkai, and that's simply because he's the only halfway intelligent person on this godforsaken excuse for a trip. And I do mean, "godforsaken."

Halfway intelligent, I meant, because it brings me to my next point: Hakkai's idiocy. Yes, I'm being quite serious.

Although, one might not think of him as imprudent, exactly. A little ditzy, sure; too concerned with the well-being of others, true also. Ultimately, however, it's those sentiments resulting in a painful lack of judgment and common sense. For a guy so practical, Hakkai could really do with some training in the issues of everyday life.

Either that or a swift kick to the ass. Then again, that guy's completely unpredictable, so there's no telling what he might do.

If there was ever a person with a martyr-complex, Hakkai would definitely be it. Excessively, tightly clinging to that irrational, utterly exasperating theory that whoever he goes close to will be hurt. Fearful, of somehow, someway, having the people he cares about get killed or beaten or something equally unpleasant done to them. Terrified, that one fine, perfectly normal and beautiful day, the most cherished person in his life will be taken away, never to be seen again.

Shit, then what am I criticizing him for? The more I think about it, the more I realize how alike we are. Kindred spirits, if you will; and I hadn't even noticed it until just now. And my cigarette just burnt out. Not that something of that vein is really related to what I'm thinking about.

Damn it. Could someone tell me why my lighter isn't here? Someone's going to be seriously hurt if it turns out I left it back at the inn. Maybe if I ask everyone, they might just spill the secret. If there is any, that is.

"Hey. Did any of you idiots try to swipe my lighter? Speak now, or I'm pulling out the gun."

"Isn't supposed to be something like, 'speak now or forever hold your peace?'" Goku asked, bewildered.

"That's a wedding vow, monkey." Gojyo ruffles the boy's hair fondly, smirking a bit. "Not that you'd know about shit like that."

Flaring with anger, the brown-haired one stood up in the moving vehicle, just barely managing to hold onto balance. "Are you callin' me stupid, erokappa?!"

I could've almost sworn that the redhead seemed almost thoughtful just then. "Actually, I was implying that you were a chibi-chimp." Of course, the mock-seriousness didn't last long, and the usual grin shaped his countenance once more. "But that works, too."

Not the good best thing to say, I mused, but certainly predictable enough for those two.

"Why're you so MEAN to me?! Sanzoooou…tell Gojyo to stop teasing me!" Goku whined, leaning over and attempting to use the softest, most endearing puppy-eyed look he could.

No. No fucking WAY. I will NOT be falling for that trick again. Goddammit, that brainless ape could pacify a cold-blooded demon with that look, truthfully. Big, watery, innocent, youthful golden eyes…just another kid, isn't he? Except most children aren't over five-hundred years old with the spirit of a tenderfoot adolescent. That isn't really the point here, but it nevertheless describes enough.

"Ch'. Do it yourself, saru." Goku was blatantly pouting, but no matter how cute he tried to look now, I wasn't going to cave. Not yet, anyway. "And speaking of the kappa…you didn't take my lighter, did you?"

Gojyo didn't need me to directly speak to him in order to figure out who I was talking to. "Nup. But you can borrow mine, if 'ya really wanted. I'm feelin' generous today."

"And you aren't in a good mood other days?" Hakkai quipped next to me, smiling that impossibly consistent smile at Gojyo.

I can't say that I was surprised when the half-breed grinned back. "S'not that. Just meant that our favorite Sanzou-sama gets to see my good side today."

"Whatever." I took the lighter from his outstretched hand anyway, reaching into my robes for the Marlboro box. Hopefully, I hadn't run out of those when no one was looking, too. I'm still trying to remember where my own lighter disappeared to.

In many ways, Gojyo's probably the least openly idiotic of the three of them. He doesn't usually show how stubborn and pig-headed his behavior is; although by now, we all take it in stride as part of which he is. At least now, he isn't sulking about the past anymore, and the pathetic teen angst phase finally passed. Good for Hakkai, probably, considering he had to put up with him day in and day out. Then again, Gojyo's pretty mellow most of the time. Compared to Hakkai's brooding, Gojyo's easygoing manner must be a pleasure trip.

Huh. Good for them, then, maybe. Not that I care, of course.

"Sanzou?"

It startled me, actually, when I realized we had reached the next town, and everyone was piling out of the jeep. Hakuryu transformed back, fluttering back to his customary perch on Hakkai's shoulder. Both Hakkai and Gojyo were already walking into the building of our lodgings for the night; in fact, I was currently squinting at the sign. Does that say Yukoi Motel? Something like that, although I'd be able to see better with my glasses. Although I honestly couldn't give a damn, considering all I was responsible for doing in these places were paying the bills. I'm the one with the credit card after all.

Goku trots over to me, guiltily staring with those . "Um…here. Sorry I was hiding it from 'ya, but…"

There in his outstretched hand was my lighter, glimmering in the bright sunset. Well, who would've thought the monkey was such a little sneak? It appears that some punishment is now in order.

He hardly has time to parry the paper fan as it comes crashing down upon his poor, unfortunate cranium. "Itaaaaiii! What was THAT for, Sanzou?!"

"Don't even give me that crap! You brainless ape!" I still don't think he gets it yet, so I bash him across the head a bit more. After all, even the screaming doesn't always meld into that thick, impenetrable skull of his. "Next time, say something when I asked if someone took my goddamn lighter! Fucking IDIOT!"

"Nyaa! Cheapskate! Meanie! Bully! SO CRUEL!! I thought you took me in 'cause I was important!"

He might have gone through an entire list of names and titles if I hadn't stopped hitting him, so it seemed advantageous enough to do. Then again, maybe it was the last statement that really brought my attacking to a standstill. Seriously, did Goku think that since I hit him, that meant I didn't give a damn about him? Was he so stupid that he thought affection would rationalize precisely why I took him in?

An idiot. Just like I said, and this proves it. He's such a goddamn idiot. Probably even more than the others.

Awkwardly, I touch the damaged crown of his head, not daring to look at him as I speak.

"…Stop being so fucking daft. You really thought I didn't have a reason for taking you in? Think about it, saru. That's all I have to say."

I bet he's gaping at me right now, shocked beyond words. But I wasn't planning on look back to verify. I didn't care about the saru, or that kappa, or that smiling youkai. They didn't matter to me, and that was all there was to it.

"Looks like the great Sanzou-sama has a soft spot for our little monkey, eh?" Gojyo smirks condescendingly as I head through the entryway of the hotel.

"…Do you want to die?" Since I know the harisen isn't as convincing, the silver banishing gun shines threatening in my fingers, just as a small warning of what could happen if he doesn't shut up right this instant.

Waving hands about dismissively, he saunters off shakily, Hakkai silently falling into a fit of hysterics behind him. "…Naw, not really. If that's what it takes, then I won't say anythin' else. If that's what 'ya want…"

Behind me, a rather small monkey runs into my back, nearly bowling me over and making that infuriating, 'nya-ing,' sound. I look from the languidly staring Gojyo, to the still-chuckling Hakkai, and to the right of me, where a sheepish Goku starts nervously trembling in my gaze. Goddamn. These three really are idiots.

But that's why they need me around, I guess. Not that I care or anything.

-END-