Disclaimer: Um hi? I don't own Kingdom Hearts or a retirement home… I got this idea from a friend's pic on y-gallery, the links at the bottom, just remove the spaces. Now onto the tortu…um I'm mean Fic!
The Retirement Home that Never Was! –Dun! Dun! Dun!
Axel and Roxas are sitting outside on the porch with rocking chairs.
"Say Axel? Do you remember the time that Marly tried to take over the Organization?" Roxas asked,
"What Barley? I don't like Barley!" Axel replied,
"Marly! I said Marly!" Roxas shouted,
"What! Barley! Charlie!" Axel shouted cupping his hand to his ear and leaning towards Roxas.
"I said Marly! Turn up your hearing aid ya old coot!" Roxas shouted to Axel.
In another room Xigbar and Luxord were playing chess.*
"As if! Luxord! I know your cheating!" Xigbar shouted banging his hand on the table,
"I do not! You take that back!" Luxord shouted back, (They're all losing their hearing, slowly yet surely)
"You are too you old fool! I mean 3 of those pieces are checker pieces!" Xigbar exclaimed,
"Told ya he cheats." wheezed Xaldin as he shuffled by with his oxygen tank and walker.
(Listen kids DO NOT SMOKE! Take a tip from Xaldin!) (Sorry Xaly we luvs ya!)
Larxene was in her room, just quietly rocking away.
Marluxia was in the garden planting away in a pink apron and gloves, "Ahh! Darn this arthritis!" he said as he pushed his now ash colored hair out of his eyes.
"Kekeke! Graceful assassin has arthritis!" Roxas shouted while laughing,
"Shut up!" Marly shouted back,
"What'd say?!" Axel shouted back,
"He said shut up!" Roxas shouted to him,
"Oh…You shut up barley!" Axel shouted back to him.
"Make me!" Marly shouted back,
"Ok I will!" Axel shouted grabbing his cane and starting to get up, as Marluxia summoned his scythe. He started to get up only to sit back down with a huff, "Ah forget it!" he said,
"Yeah! Yeah! That's what I thought punk!" Marly shouted back letting is scythe go to nothing. 'Man my back and shoulders hurt, who knew my scythe was that heavy!' he thought as he went back to his gardening.
Lexaeus was in his room reading a book called The Miracles of Random, or if you want to really read something please turn to page 1175 to read the book on Metaphysics. He was on the part about Metaphysics. He looked over at his weights and sighed, never again.
"Ok now raise your arms up as high as they'll go!" the pool instructor said,
"Yeah!" Demyx cried raising his arms, "I know what would make this more fun!"
"Uh...wah…" the instructor said, looking in his direction.
"Some music! Dance Water Dance!" he shouted and began to jam on his Sitar,
"Oh noes! Not again!" cried the instructor and the other pool attendants as they were splashed mercilessly by Demy's water clones.
–Ok here's a joke- "I am Sephiroth!" Sephy said, "Sephiroth!" a chorus sings out behind him.
"Do you think the reason he has them sing is because he can't remember his name?" Sora asked,
"Yknow I don't really know." Cloud confessed. (Couldn't help it I had to write it!)
Zexion was sitting in the library trying to read, but couldn't because it was too blurry.
"Oh why can't I see this page clearly enough!" he cried,
"Because you need your reading glasses!" Xigbar shouted from across the room,
"oh." He said as he began searching for his reading glasses.
"But where'd I put them?" he asked looking around,
"On your head!" shouted Luxord from the other side of the room.
"Oh thanks" Zexion said, taking off his regular glasses and replacing them with his reading glasses. (We love you Zexy!)
"Saix? Do you remember the time we tried to take Kingdom Hearts?" asked Xemnas from his wheelchair sitting besides Saix whose hair had turned white.
"Yes Superior." He said placing his hand on Xemnas' hand.
"Ah those were the days." Xemnas said,
"Yes Superior those were the days." Leaning over and pecks his cheek.
They continue to stare at Kingdom Hearts.
And what about Vexen you ask? No he ain't dead ya foos! He's still alive and kickin! And plus he still looks the same! He hasn't aged a day! Why is this you ask? Because old crabby scientists rule! That's why!
I wrote this on a random bus ride home. I still can't read it without laughing my butt off! Also I got the idea from the pic by ShinZo the pic yaoi. y-gallery view / 326671/ (Just take out the spaces) This really is random, and it just came out of nowhere, I'm mean my mind is fairly random!
EDIT: I missed it the first time as I just posted it without really editing it, but the scene with the chess game was inspired by a episode of Rugrats.