My heart still bleeds from not being allowed to hold Reimu in my arms, let alone being able to really see her again. If I had such a gift, I wouldn't have squandered it but she did and I still pick up the pieces left over. I love Reimu, I really do, and I would give just about anything to be able to hold her in my arms again, to be a mother. My body denies that and that whore, Reiko, doesn't even want Reimu to have any sort of memory of me or for her to know of my existence. Bitch! I was her mother first! are my thoughts towards that woman. I was Reimu's mother first and anyone with a heart could see that we were quite happy with each other. I struck a match with this one and got burned, getting swallowed up in some fantasy! Well, I suppose, it was one of the few times I could say I was happy, truly happy. I still have a little family but it's just not the same without Reimu here. It's like something is missing and it obviously is. I may not be human but I can still feel. Often, I dream about her and we would be together in my dreams, all of us. Ran, Chen, Reimu, and myself as one happy family family, like we were. Dreams are funny, aren't they? Alas, I would awake back into my sadness, so I would sleep more and more, having pleasant dreams. Dreams were dreams and would almost never be close to reality. In my dreams, I would hold her in my arms but, when I would awake, I realized that it wasn't real. My body denies me a gift and that whore took on away.
After awhile of sleeping, I decided to get up and go out for awhile, trying to renew my sense of life and existence, wearing Reimu's hair ribbon in my hair. It was no better. Everywhere I went I was overcome with a bittersweet feeling. Joy because it is so pleasing to see mothers caring for their offspring and it reminded me of Reimu but sorrow because I am further reminded of something I don't have and may never become. If I could have children, then I would have and I have had many, so many that Gensokyo would be overrun and I would be one proud mother. I would like to dream of that, really. In dreaming of that, I would dream of my little human child, Reimu. I wonder how she is? I hope she is alright and not too upset by my absence and is faring better than I am. I also hope that whore is feeding her and helping in her growth.
"Reimu say, 'Mommy', see? Mohm-mee."