" Mr Jones, we usually don't offer auditions this late in the casting process. "
" I know – I understand, and I'm really grateful you offered me a shot. " Killian's hand went up to scratch behind his ear, almost of its own accord. It was a nervous trait they'd see right through; Great. He was a minute in and was already showing signs of weakness. He was setting himself up to fail.
"Well, your remarkable performance on tape caught our interest. You seem very fitting for the role of Colin - We thought we'd like to see you in person. "
Colin O'Donoghue – His dream role. It was a matter of chance that he'd been sent an email about auditions for the new character. He'd been a massive fanboy of the show 'Reality' since it had begun; watching every episode, knowing every little hint and trick of the producers, even being able to prophesise one of the biggest plot twists.
He knew Josh and Ginny were made for each other.
As soon as he'd heard word of a handsome Irish actor joining the show's heavy cast of characters, he knew his time to shine was upon him.
He'd set himself up with a camera and his best flannel shirt within half an hour.
" Um, hi. " Killian coughed. " My name is Killian Jones, and I'm here to audition for the role of Colin O'Donoghue on 'Reality'. I've been a massive fan for ages, and I positively adore acting, so I thought I would show you what I've got! " He forced his face into a charming grin, hiding his shaking fingers from the camera's view. He was rambling!
But as he spoke the words of the script, his English accent morphed into a strong Irish one, he felt his muscles relax. It was amazing how smoothly he fell into his interpretation of the awkward, yet no less comedic Colin. He had this in the bag.
He only wished he could bring back the same confidence and comfort he had felt in the safety of his own apartment. He was in dire need of it now.
The casting crew stared at him for a moment, before pointing at the camera. " Are you ready? " Killian could only muster a short nod as one of the men moved to turn on the lens, telling him to stand on the X in the centre.
A red-haired woman counted him down before nodding, her lips upturned. The stranger's sympathetic smile soothed his jumpy nerves.
" My name is Killian Jones, and I am here to audition for the role of Colin O'Donoghue. " Killian began to the camera, before allowing his shoulders to slump, more relaxed and casual than his usual stance. The casting manager's face showed no sign of approval with his choice of physical trait, nor disapproval. It was a good sign.
" So, Colin. " The woman from behind the camera spoke the lines of his counterpart in the scene – An interviewer, talking to the famous actor Colin O'Donoghue.
" How did you begin your rise to fame? "
Killian barked out a laugh. " Fame? Oh, I wouldn't say fame. Um… Trying my hardest, I suppose? It's all a manner of luck, really. It started with small jobs around Dublin – Where I grew up – and then I landed a role in an adaptation of The Rite. The producers of 'A Little Bird Told Me' found me not long afterwards. " His voice was relaxed into an Irish accent, stuttering occasionally. His character was awkward – Scrabbling for words, shifting a lot, grasping for his water bottle. The little traits and habits he portrayed achieved him an encouraging grin. He was nailing it!
" Tell me about 'A Little Bird Told Me'. "
" 'A Little Bird Told Me' is a television show about fairy tales. That's all I can say. It's coming out in about a month, and I'm really excited for the airing of the Pilot. We've worked really hard on it, and I think the fans are already in love with the series. " The two shared a laugh.
" But since I was a little boy, I've always loved fairy tales. Landing this show – It was one of my dreams. "
The script was hitting a little too close to home now, but before he could go on, the casting director stopped him.
" Okay, we've got enough. Thank you for your time, and we'll get back to you quickly. We're very near to the announcements of the cast – It should be in a matter of days. "
And in minutes he found himself shoved outside the building, looking very confused indeed. His heart sank to his feet.
He'd failed the audition.
There was no other explanation for it. He knew he was too nervous! To be honest, Killian thought he'd gotten into the character smoothly, but apparently his attempts at awkwardly charming had faltered. He'd completely failed. It was terrible. They'd even wanted him out of the building as quickly as possible; He was that much of an embarrassment.
He lay on his couch, the television blaring, yet he took none of it in. He was too miserable.
Killian had his chance to show them what he could do, and yet he'd decided to make an entire fool out of himself. Why hadn't he gone with totally shy, or completely charming? Middle-ground was a mistake, a big mistake!
" Killian, I'm home! " He heard the door open and close, followed by the heavy footsteps of his sibling.
Liam, his brother. Great – He was not ready to talk.
" How did it go? Did you even go? You look tired, little brother! "
" Younger. " Killian replied grumpily, sitting up and sighing heavily. " And yes, I went. I'm not in the mood. "
" Boulderdash. You're to tell me everything about it, and I won't settle for anything less. "
It was both a blessing and a curse, having a brother who was always interested in your opinion and what you had to say. He remained silent as Liam poured drinks, and handed a glass to Killian. He chugged its contents – rum, thank the gods - in two seconds flat, then lay back down. He slumped his head against a pillow and let his feet rest on Liam's lap.
They'd always had a certain sibling bond, these two. They were best friends as they were brothers. It was a rare sight to see – however, unfortunate fates had brought them closer.
" Well, I thought I did alright. "
" Alright? Just alright? " Liam questioned, sipping at his drink and eyeing his brother curiously.
" Well, to be frank, I thought I'd nailed it. But I'd gotten halfway through my audition before they practically threw me out of the door. " Killian picked at a cuticle, a grumpy pout on his face. It just wasn't fair.
Silence settled over the flat as Liam frowned, pondering over his brother's words. Very interesting.
" Well… Did you do the accent ri- "
" Of course I did the bloody accent right! " Killian snapped at him before he had finished, leaning forward to glare at his older family member before falling back, staring at the ceiling fan.
" Perhaps they loved what they saw? Perhaps their miserable eyes were so used to no talent, that they couldn't handle all of yours? They decided they didn't want to waste your time, you being the acting god you are? " Liam tried, tapping on his smaller brother's toes with an index finger.
" Boulderdash. " Killian echoed, giving off another dramatic sigh. " I was crap. There's nothing else to say about it. "
Silence once more. It killed him.
" Do you want to watch Game of Thrones? I can order some pizza. " Liam asked quietly, and Killian gave a sullen nod.
" We're up to the second season. " He mumbled, handing him his phone, letting him dial the pizza place that they were so fond of. He switched over the television, the DVD player whirring.
Sometimes, having a brother was a gift from the gods. And sometimes they were little pricks who stole the last slice of pizza.
It was strange to get worked up over a tiny little audition. He'd been to many auditions, and he'd failed many auditions. Who cared, really?
Well, he cared. He was in the same position as before, just without his brother there to chase away all of the bad thoughts with cheesy pizza and the affairs of the Lannisters – He was laying on top of his bed, staring at the ceiling fan, a frown marring his brow.
But why did he care so much? Maybe it was because he had dedicated most of his interest into this one item of entertainment. He was so emotionally invested in the lives of Jeniffer and Lana, of Ginny and Josh, of small Jared and the attractive Meghan. It was a show that, no matter what the problems, would always show on Sunday at 8. Every week. It was his little link to Reality.
He chuckled to himself at the joke.
How had he stuffed up so badly, and so quickly?
Killian had courageously decided to go out for breakfast that morning. It was a small diner called Granny's that was nearby, which served delicious waffles and amazing coffee. It was a little slice of paradise.
He was sitting in one of the booths, devouring said meal, gazing around at the patrons of the little diner - When he saw her.
No, it wasn't a gorgeous stranger who was eyeing him curiously.
Well, she was gorgeous, but she wasn't eyeing him curiously. Nor was she a stranger.
It was the Emma Swan.
The Emma Swan that played the Jennifer Morrison.
Were his eyes deceiving him? He didn't have a second to lose – She could leave at any moment. Without a second's thought he leaped up, forgetting his food, and moved to sit right in front of her. She was tapping on her phone, barely glancing up.
" Oh, Ruby, I've just been wanting to mention that- You! " She'd looked up now. And seen him.
His face morphed into that of confusion. Him? " Me? " He asked, baffled. She gave a nod, poised. She looked as if she were ready to scream. Or run. Or both.
" Yes, you! I've seen you around! You're the creepy guy that's always at the set, taking photos and shit! You've been told to piss off five times in one day! " Oh great, she'd recognised him. So, all those times he'd sworn she'd looked straight at him had been true.
" I don't think I've ever- "
" Yes, you have! I've seen you around all the time! I'd recognise you anywhere. " Emma pointed at him, frowning.
" I was just coming to say hello, and that I'm a huge fan of your show. " Killian spoke in a small voice. This was a terrible, terrible, terrible idea. What was he thinking?! Say hello, and she'd just surge up and kiss him or something?
" Well thanks, but I'm not too appreciative of stalkers. Mega-fans creep me out. " This woman wasn't kind. Not at all like warm-hearted character she portrayed. And with that, she stood. " Please stop. "
She left the diner, crushing both a bug under the heel of her shoe – And his heart.
Killian blinked up at the fan. Again.
He felt more miserable than he'd ever felt before. He'd not only completely failed the audition, but he'd managed to annoy and get yelled at by one of the best actors on the show.
His phone chimed, and he gave a low growl. It was probably his brother, calling to say he was going to be coming home late. His brother was always working – It was one of his annoying traits.
" Hello, this is Killian speaking. " Killian mumbled, blinking tiredly.
" Killian? This is Emily from OUaT Studios – I'm here to talk to you about the role of Colin O'Donoghue, on the show Reality. Do you have a moment? "
" I have all the moments in the world. I failed, didn't I? "
The woman laughed. " On the contrary, I've called to tell you you've gotten the part. Congratulations! Can you come down on…. "
The rest of the words blurred into a string of nonsense. His heart pounded in his chest. Could it be? Did he really…? He…
He'd gotten the part.
" So – Killian. " Elric and Alex sat before him. They were vaguely intimidating, despite the fact he was a good few inches taller than both of them, and their outfits were the least bit scary. They'd chosen a casual get-up – Jeans and t-shirts.
Killian, on the other hand, went for a shirt and pants. Playing it safe.
He gave a nervous nod, indicating for the men to go on. These two were the big producers of the show, in town for the casting announcements. Several new members were also joining the cast – A guy he knew vaguely was also coming along; Neal. They weren't exactly on the same page.
" The casting crew came to us saying you were an excellent match for Colin, and viewing your tape and live audition, we had to agree with them. You fit the character excellently. "
Killian felt his blood rush up to his face. Was he… Blushing? Why was he blushing? He never blushed! What was this madness?!
And the casting crew said he was perfect for the role? What wormhole did he jump into?
" Thank you. " He mumbled. If the producers kept up this kind of praise, he wouldn't have to act the shy trait.
" We just wanted to meet you in person; you know, have a chat, talk about the character. Speaking of, how did you think up the idea of such a charmingly shy personality? " Alex asked casually.
Shit. He'd gone and stuffed up again! He was just trying to portray his own interpretation, but instead he's taken liberties and messed up the script of these two geniuses and they probably hate him and they will fire him as soon as possible and-
No. He needed to stay cool. He was over-analysing! Just answer the damn question, Killian!
" Well, I thought the script made him seem a little stutter-y, like he never really knew what to say. In my head, I pictured a guy that was always a little awkward, trying to be funny, trying to be as charming as an actor should be. But if that isn't okay, I can change him, I can- "
" Actually, " Elric interrupted him, adjusting his glasses. " We loved the way you played him. We never thought of him that way, but really, he seems much more…. What's the word… " The producer paused, then smiled. " Endearing. "
Killian let out a silent breath of relief. Thank the gods.
" We have a plane all set for you and the other cast members. We'll be on there, of course – Even though I will miss this warm Maine air. " Alex laughed. Were these guys always so merry?
" We'll be in touch, Killian Jones. Enjoy your week. "
Killian could barely stand. Well, he could, because that was all he was doing – Standing in the centre of his living room, staring at the wall above the television, a goofy grin on his face. All of this took so much out of him – Being ecstatic, then depressed, then ecstatic, then depressed, and ecstatic once more. He needed to sleep. For a week.
That was how Liam found him – This was the third time in one week that he had walked into his house, with his brother frozen in the living room, enraptured by some strong emotion or other. He was thankful that the majority was of it was happiness.
" Alright, brother. Tell me. " Were Liam's first words when he saw his sibling, who turned to look at him, even surprise not wrenching the grin off his face.
And when Killian started talking, he wouldn't stop. On and on he went, until Liam could barely keep his eyes open, nodding along but not listening to a word. Had it really been an hour? How was Killian's voice not sore? He was getting exhausted!
" Well, little brother. " Liam interrupted him mid-sentence, and Killian snapped out of a trance, realising he was still talking. He had been basically repeating the same speech over and over again – 'They just looked so cool! And they were so casual, and they seemed to really like me, and….'.
" How about we throw you a party? " He suggested, grinning at his sibling's shocked expression.
" A party? No, no, we don't need a party. A party is way too much, we can just have a small get-together, or – "
" Nonsense, little brother. We are having a celebration for you, and I'll be damned if I don't follow through. Now get some rest, if you can. You look as if you are about to both explode and fall dead. "
Killian nodded, teetering as he stood, and stumbled into his bedroom. He was drunk on excitement.
" And don't forget your prosthetic! " He heard Liam call as he went about turning off the lights. He gave a nod to himself, then moved to unclasp the buckles of his plastic hand. He twisted it off and placed it under his bedside table, where it belonged.
He'd lost his left hand in a boating accident, just above the wrist. It had hurt like a mother-fucker, but he'd been told that there was no way to regain function in that hand, so he'd learned to just deal with it over the years. Better to have a prosthetic rather than a mangled, limp, unusable human hand anyway. He still had the scars on his arm from where the rest of the metal from the wreckage had plunged into his arm. It caused minimal tissue damage, thankfully.
Okay, so maybe he was a little bitter.
He never did know how he fell asleep – So hyped on excitement, such a feat seemed nearly impossible. But it happened, and when he did, his dreams were filled with colourful lights and falling snow.
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