Harry Potter and the Best Professor
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I own Draco Malfoy.
"Hey, Harry! Do you know who's going to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts this year?" asked Hermione Granger, as she boarded the Hogwarts Express.
"No... I have no idea," responded Harry. Hermione was visibly excited. She seemed hyperactive and anxious. Harry waited for her to elaborate.
"Gilderoy Lockhart!" Hermione practically screamed.
"Okay... and who is that?" asked Harry, still not understanding the object of his friend's excitement.
"What? You don't know who Gilderoy Lockhart is?" Hermione looked absolutely terrified. She couldn't understand how anyone could not know who her idol was.
"Umm... yeah?" whispered Harry.
"Harry, Gilderoy Lockhart is the most awesome wizard ever! He is famous for defeating a lot of dark creatures! And his smile..." said Hermione dreamingly. As she looked to be lost in her own imagination, Harry decided not to bother her. He took out his DADA school book for this year and started reading it. It was titled 'Petrifying a Basilisk with my smile, or how I killed a terrible monster just by being handsome' and was written by no other than Gilderoy Lockhart himself. It looked interesting enough, so Harry read for the rest of their journey. By the end of it, he became a fan of Lockhart as well. After all, if the man was able to kill a Basilisk using only his smile, he must be fairly awesome.
"Welcome, students! Welcome to your first lesson of Defence Against the Dark Arts!" said Gilderoy Lockhart to his new pupils. Almost all of the children were stunned by the man's charming smile and a few of the girls fainted.
"You are probably thinking that the first lesson would be boring, right? Not to worry, I have something exciting prepared for you!" chirped Lockhart happily, and left the classroom, asking everyone to follow him. They finally stopped near the entrance to the girls' bathroom, which was occupied by Moaning Myrtle.
"Professor, what are we doing here?" asked Hermione, not really sure why they would stop near the infamous bathroom of all places.
"Well, we are going to kill a Basilisk of course!" said Lockhart and went inside the bathroom. The students stood still, frozen to the floor. All of them appeared to be shocked, only Harry smiled and looked excited.
"Finally, an exciting lesson! Come on everyone, what are you waiting for? The professor is experienced in killing Basilisks, didn't you read his book?" asked Harry and went inside to follow the professor.
"Oh, that's right, I forgot about it," said Hermione and relaxed a bit. "Come on guys, there's nothing to worry about, we are in good hands." After that, the students relaxed and went inside as well.
"Well, here we are, everyone! The infamous Chamber of Secrets!" exclaimed Lockhart when they arrived at their destination.
"And now, I must ask you to remain here, as I will go ahead and slay the monster," he declared and went a bit further ahead, towards a big statue of Salazar Slytherin.
"Do you think he will be alright?" asked Hermione anxiously. The students were visibly scared, but no one wanted to seem like a coward, so they all remained in place.
"Of course he will be alright, he is the most powerful wizard to ever live," said Harry and put on his Anti-Basilisk sunglasses. The professor gave them to the students earlier, saying that they will protect them from being killed by the Basilisk's sight.
"You are right, I don't need to worry," said Hermione, though she still appeared to be anxious. Meanwhile, Gilderoy was whispering something while he looked at the great statue on the other side of the chamber.
Suddenly, they heard a frightening noise, and the statue opened, revealing a great monster hidden behind it. Gilderoy looked as confident as ever, and he took out his autobiography from his pocket.
"Hello, Mr Basilisk. Are you feeling well today?" asked Gilderoy as he looked at the monster. The Basilisk didn't seem to understand human speech, as it looked ready to attack the professor. It opened its mouth and everyone gasped, as they saw the monstrous fangs inside it.
"Professor, watch out!" screamed Hermione. Gilderoy looked surprised as well, but recovered after only a moment. He smiled at the monster, clearly confident about his next move.
"Mr Basilisk, would you be so kind, and kill yourself? We would all be pleased if you did so," he said and flashed his most charming smile at the monster. The Basilisk didn't look pleased at the idea and began its attack. After two seconds, Lockhart was dead, crushed by the enormous Basilisk's body. After ten more seconds, all of the students were dead as well, eaten by the terrifying monster. Safe to say, it was the best lesson ever.