The Narutard Files
Hey. Welcome to my first retarded story. I already know that this story is going to be plotless, idiotic, and pointless. Fun. The idea is based off of a fantastic story called Don't Believe It by the great mooglebaku (read it). The only difference is that mine has less sex, yoai, yuri, and nude and more violence, randomness, ghosts, and just general beating the crap out of people. Yeah. So, here are those stupid characters.
Chapter 1: Characters
Naruto: More retarded then ever. Hence the story name.
Sakura: Pretty much the same. Only difference is the author doesn't care if she lives or dies.
Sasuke: Training with (aka being molested by) Orochimaru. He should come in later.
Shikamaru: The coolest nerd ever. He has over 700 patents and he's still a teenager but he has a girlfriend 3 years older then him.
Temari: Shika's bossy girlfriend. She loves interior design and is the only person in the world who can mix old western, puke green, and tech all in the same room.
Neji: The leader of the biggest mob in Konoha. Only members know the mob's name, and if they try to tell it to someone they always end up dead. He's known as the sixth great kage, the Kagekage (shadow shadow).
Tenten: The most badass girl in the whole town. She's in the best hit man/woman in the mob. She originally joined because she loved Neji, but the mob life can easily strip love away.
Hinata: Quiet, polite, and hates violence. Neji is desperately trying to break her of her kindness because she's part of "the family". Nothing's worked yet.
Shino: The coolest guy ever. He has a pack of girls constantly around him and he knows the answer to everything.
Kiba: A wimp.
Ino: The town bitch.
Rock Lee: Widely thought to be gay, but not. He has a bad habit of talking only in figurative language (rhyming, alliteration, etc.). Turns into the hulk with even the slightest bit of alcohol.
Chouji: The poor, ugly fatty is just trying to find his place in the world.
Akamaru: Kiba's boss. He is also a main member of the mob and takes direct orders from Neji.
Gaara: The biggest emo-wannabe in the world. To be considered "emo" you must be accepted by the EMO (Emotional and Mad Organization), but in order to do that, you need to have cut at least once in your life. This is impossible for Gaara due to his sand shield. He is trying to find other ways into the organization.
Kankuro: He likes dolls. 'Nuff said.
Konohamaru: Commonly thought to be Naruto's shadow who repeats the last word of every sentence he says.
Third Hokage: He died. Now, he's a ghost going around helping (or trying to help) the living characters.
Akatsuki: A group of badass gay ninja. Individuals will be introduced later.
Pie: A tasty desert that is a favorite of ninja everywhere.
Gai: The weirdo with creepy eyes and green spandex. Likes to strike poses in people's personal space.
Kakashi: The coolest adult to ever exist, ever.
Orochimaru: Some kind of combination of snakes, Voldemort, and Michael Jackson.
Jiraiya: Pervert.
Tsunade: Always drinking. She's still the best medic nin the world could come up with.
Yep, those are the basic characters in my crappy story. The next chapter should be out in a few days. Enjoy.