Notes: This is based on the anime, but we're using bits of the manga, too, including their ages in the manga instead of the anime. This is based loosely on the concept that Schwarz never worked for Takatori, so they and Weiss were not opposing groups. This first part is very Schwarz-centric, but Weiss will be in as soon as chapter two.

Warnings: This is rated R for violence, language, innuendo, and sex. And a couple later parts will probably feature graphic sex. Yaoi yaoi yaoi yaoi yaoi.

Disclaimer: Oh, if only.

With Friends Like These
by Karasu and Kouri

Chapter One

"So this is Tokyo," Schuldig observed, glancing around the street. "Everybody's so . . . short."

Brad let out what might, from anyone else, be classified as an amused snort. However, coming from Brad, who knew? Certainly not Schuldig, and Nagi was trailing along behind them like a lost little puppy. Though he certainly felt better now that he was back in his home country, he was still new enough to the team that being in one place with Brad and Schuldig had a tendency to make him nervous.

Encouraged by Brad's response, Schuldig kept talking. "So how far away is the apartment?" he asked, well aware that this was the third time he had asked that since leaving the airport half an hour before. "And is our stuff all here?"

"Our things were shipped in last week, as you well know," Brad responded from where he was behind the wheel of their rented car. "Though you'll have to unpack."

"Are we there yet?" Schuldig whined.

"Yes, Schuldig. Feel free to get out at any time."

"Liar," Schuldig accused from his place in the passenger seat.

Brad didn't dignify this with a reply.

"You're no fun," Schuldig grumbled, slumping down in his seat. The rest of the thankfully short drive passed in silence, until Brad pulled into a large parking garage for a highrise apartment building.

"This way," he said, getting out of the car. Nagi and Schuldig both had backpacks containing what they'd brought on the plane; Brad had only his briefcase. The latter two followed him into the elevator and up to the fourteenth floor.

"Ooh, high ceilings," Schuldig admired, looking around the apartment. It was plenty spacious enough to fit the four of them, though Farferello hadn't joined them yet. All that was visible from the door was the large living room, which was already furnished. The far wall was a large glass window overlooking Tokyo. There was a balcony that stretched out from it.

"It's one way glass," Brad said, then pointed to the balcony. "If you're going to smoke, do it outside."

"I kinda figured that," Schuldig said.

Brad pushed his glasses up on his nose. "I figured that you can always benefit from instruction." He ignored Schuldig's sneer and continued. "The kitchen is in there," he said, gesturing to a hallway. "And all the bedrooms go off that hallway. One bathroom is on that side of the living room, the other is at the end of the hall."

Schuldig headed towards the bedrooms. "Which bedroom is mine and which bathroom do I use?"

"All your things have been put into a bedroom; I trust that you can find it. As to which bathroom you use, I couldn't care less." Brad put his briefcase down on the large table in the middle of the living room and opened it up, obviously prepared to go to work.

Schuldig rolled his eyes and went down the hallway, inspecting everything as he went. Nagi hesitantly followed, peering into the rooms as they passed them. His was the second, and he went into it after a slight glance at Schuldig.

Schuldig had no difficulty finding his own room, seeing as he had packed rather haphazardly and most of his things were in book bags or trash bags rather than boxes. He wondered idly how much Brad had needed to pay the movers just to sort through his mess.

Like the living room, this was already furnished. There was a dark green carpet and cream walls. The curtains and bedspread matched the carpet and the furniture was dark stained wood. Aside from the bed and dresser, there was also a bookshelf and a desk that he figured he could put his stereo on. He wondered if it was a hint from Brad that he should work more often, and shrugged it off. There was a large, walk-in closet on one wall.

The windows were large, and once he had pulled back the curtains, let in a decent amount of sunlight. He started to unpack, setting up his stereo and putting on a CD of the Surprise Symphony. Most classical music was too quiet to keep stray thoughts from getting in, but the louder stuff was good.

He did a quick mental check on Nagi to make sure he'd started to unpack, rather than just standing in the center of the room staring. The teenager had only been with the team for less than a year, and still seemed unaccustomed to the thoughts of ownership. Schuldig understood that; it had taken him a long time to adjust to the fact that he could have anything he wanted. (Within reason, that was. Brad did all the shopping.)

Nagi was, in fact, unpacking, and Brad was still working. Schuldig could hardly ever sense Brad's thoughts in any case, except for the notable occasions that Brad got upset. This had happened once in the five years Schuldig had known him.

He didn't have many clothes that needed hanging, so the first thing he did was drag the dresser into the closet to make more room. Schuldig always wanted to have the maximum amount of space allowed him. It didn't take him very long to unpack, and he began looking for something else to do.

A quick exploration of the apartment revealed that there was no food in the fridge. Schuldig wasn't a big eater, but he had a tendency to nibble when there was nothing to do. "Yo, Crawford."

Brad didn't look up. "Yes?"

"Can I have some money to go grocery shopping?" Schuldig asked. "I'll take Nagi."

Brad appeared to consider this for a minute, then took out his wallet and handed him some money. "Just groceries. Nothing else."

"Yes, yes, just food," Schuldig said with a much put upon sigh. "And the car keys?"

"No."

Schuldig wilted.

"You need the exercise anyway," Brad said.

"Is there a place within walking distance?" Schuldig asked curiously.

"You'll never know if you don't look," Brad replied.

Schuldig gave him a look. "Must you always be a jerk?"

"You wanted something to occupy yourself with; this will keep you occupied for quite a while. And will accomplish something, too. As long as Nagi's agreeable, that is."

"Oh, fine, be that way." Schuldig flounced over to Nagi's room. Nagi's door was ajar, so he knocked on it, and went in when Nagi replied. "Wanna go grocery shopping?"

Nagi blinked large blue eyes at him. "Okay," he said hesitantly.

"Why are you so agreeable all the time?" Schuldig asked, giving him a look.

Nagi blinked again. "Does it bother you?" he asked, now sounding slightly amused by the question.

"Well, yeah, kinda."

"Why?"

"Because sometimes I get the impression that you don't have a personality," Schuldig said bluntly.

"Maybe I have an agreeable personality," Nagi pointed out.

"See, this is more like it," Schuldig said.

Nagi blinked, having no idea what he'd changed to make Schuldig happy. "Are we going grocery shopping or not?"

"Yes. I don't suppose you know this area, do you?"

"A little." Nagi looked doubtful, standing up. "I didn't come around here that much."

"Any vague idea where there's a grocery store within walking distance?"

"No," Nagi said, but then shrugged. "Why don't you just poke at people on the street until you find someone who knows?"

"Seems like a viable option to me," Schuldig said. "But I figured I'd ask first. Less effort."

^^^^

"Grocery shopping here is horrible," Schuldig announced as he marched back into the apartment, Nagi quietly in tow. Both were carrying brown paper bags full of food. "I mean, turtles! They were still moving!" He turned and glared at Nagi. "Why didn't you warn me about the turtles?"

Nagi blinked at him, then turned and carried the bags into the kitchen. Schuldig found his bags plucked out of his arms and following Nagi, suspended in midair by the teenager's power.

Brad barely looked up from the papers he was looking at. "I find it interesting, Schuldig, that though you can kill men in cold blood, you're alarmed by your dinner being alive when you buy it."

"I couldn't eat a turtle!" Schuldig protested.

Brad let out a snort that sounded suspiciously like a smothered laugh. "Perhaps not, but plenty of people who live in this country do. I'm sure it didn't bother Nagi in the slightest."

"But . . . they're pets!" Schuldig said. "People think too much and are noisy and obnoxious and ew, but animals are nice."

"In China, they eat cats," Brad informed him, still not looking up.

"Mein Gott," Schuldig pronounced. "Shut up."

"Just so you know," Brad replied absently.

"I was okay without knowing."

"I'm sure." Brad shut one folder of papers and opened another.

"Anything exciting tonight?"

There was a slight pause in the movement of Brad's hands as he apparently gave this question due thought. "No," he finally said. "Not yet. Entertain yourself."

Schuldig wilted.

"You can start by making dinner."

"I was going to make dinner anyway," Schuldig protested. "And you damn well knew it."

"So?" Brad looked up suddenly, giving Schuldig a cool glance.

"Take me to a bookstore later."

Brad raised an eyebrow at him. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but that sounded very much like you were telling me what to do."

"Oh, no, it was only a polite suggestion," Schuldig said with a snide grin, dropping onto the sofa. "You took it the wrong way."

Brad looked at him for a long minute, considering. "All right," he finally said.

Schuldig looked taken aback. "So you'll take me?"

"Yes."

"Cool." Schuldig bounced out of the room and went to make dinner.

^^^^

"Fuck you," Schuldig pronounced. "Fuck you and die."

Brad pushed his glasses up onto his nose and continued to peruse a stand of newspapers. Nagi had disappeared silently into the stacks to find his own reading material. The precognitive did not reply to Schuldig's vehement comment.

Schuldig looked around the bookstore in disgust. Japanese. Everything was in Japanese, and while he spoke it quite well, having picked it out of Nagi's brain, he couldn't read a single kanji except for the ones that made Nagi's name. "You can read every single God damned word in here, can't you."

"Most likely not," Brad said mildly, speaking English. "I'm not an expert in kanji, and there are some that are used very infrequently. Nagi most likely can, however."

"Why did you purposely pick a store where I couldn't even find anything in English?" Schuldig asked, irritated.

"Because you didn't ask for one. You simply said 'take me to a bookstore,' so I obliged."

Schuldig plunked down on the floor, resting his back against the wall. "Kindly let me know when his majesty is done," he said, lapsing into German just to piss Brad off. Brad had said before coming to speak Japanese unless it was necessary for some reason not to.

"I will," Brad said absently, leafing through one of the newspapers.

Schuldig sneered at him and then lapsed into silence.

"Why are you torturing me?" he asked in German, after it became clear that Brad was not going to speak again.

Brad glanced down at him. "Because you're so amusing, Schuldig," he replied, and dropped a newspaper onto Schuldig's chest. "That's all fairly simple. Learn it."

Schuldig snatched it. "I'll get you for this."

"Mm hmm." Brad did not sound particularly impressed.

"Why didn't you warn me that I should learn to read Japanese earlier?" Schuldig demanded, looking at the neat rows of incomprehensible kanji on the paper.

"It didn't occur to me. I forgot how hard it was to keep you occupied. Maybe if you're lucky, there'll be an article about the turtle trade." Brad walked off into the stacks.

Schuldig pouted in silence. However, with a reference guide, it would be easier to learn. He could pick the meaning of each individual kanji out of Nagi's head and memorize them that way. Far easier than just trying to access all the knowledge at once.

Nagi came out a few minutes later, holding a bag that contained two or three books. He looked blankly at Schuldig. "Why are you sitting on the floor?"

"Seems like a good place to sit," Schuldig said, still speaking in German.

Nagi frowned slightly. He had a rudimentary knowledge of German, but had only lived there for six months. As Schuldig had been learning Japanese at the time and Brad had been polishing his own, very little German had been spoken around him. Brad usually spoke English if he wasn't concerning himself with being appropriate to their setting. "Why are you speaking German?" he finally asked.

"Because I'm annoyed," Schuldig said.

Nagi frowned. "Gestört," he said, trying to sound the odd word out. "I don't know that one."

Schuldig took pity on him and repeated the word in Japanese.

"Oh," Nagi said. "Because there's nothing in English or German here?"

"Nein," Schuldig said.

Nagi figured that he might as well give his German a go, since Schuldig didn't seem like he would be switching back to Japanese any time soon. "Why, then?" he asked, stumbling a little over the unfamiliar words.

"Because the Good Prince Crawford didn't see fit to warn me that I might want to learn Japanese, and then purposely picked a place where I wouldn't be able to find anything to read."

Nagi blinked owlishly at him. "What?"

"You have to learn German if I have to learn Japanese," Schuldig snapped, in Japanese.

"Schuldig," Nagi said, sounding bewildered, "we're in Japan. It's far more important for you to know Japanese than it is for me to understand German."

"I don't think that counts, since we're working for a German based operation," Schuldig said. "Schwarz, for Christ's sake."

"I know that one," Nagi deadpanned.

"God, I hope so."

Brad rejoined their group, carrying a bag of books for himself. "Schuldig, are you going to buy that newspaper?"

"Nein," Schuldig said, folding it up and putting it back.

"Suit yourself," Brad said. "Are you finished, Nagi?"

Nagi nodded, looking slightly nervous. He had a tendency to around Brad.

Brad smiled at Schuldig. "Shall we?"

"If I ask nicely, O Prince, can we go to a place where we can get something to read, that I can understand already?" Schuldig asked, still keeping in German.

"I'll consider it."

"That means no, doesn't it."

"You can interpret it however you wish, Schuldig."

Schuldig sneered and went for the car. Brad and Nagi followed, the former looking rather smug and self-satisfied. The ride back to the apartment passed in stony silence. Schuldig stormed his way upstairs, too annoyed to worry about their new neighbors.

"Here," Brad said, once they were inside, handing him the bag of books he'd been carrying.

Schuldig took it, looking suspicious. Then he dumped the books out onto the kitchen table. They were dusty and badly worn, but in English. Most of them looked to be classics of some kind. "You do put a lot of effort into defying explanation, don't you," he said.

Brad shrugged. "The store had a basement full of used books. You hadn't noticed. I figured I would do you the favor."

"Much appreciated," Schuldig said, in Japanese.

Brad gave him one of his patented I-am-only-slightly-amused looks. "I'm sure."

Schuldig hmphed, picking up his books and heading for his room.

"Don't stay up late reading," Brad called after him. "We have a job tomorrow."

"Is it something exciting?" Schuldig asked.

"You'll have to wait and see."

"For once, I would like a straight answer out of you," Schuldig said, but he obviously didn't expect one, because he closed his door without waiting for Brad's reply.

^^^^

They ordered out for dinner, getting some Chinese food. Brad stood up after eating and put his dishes in the sink. "Be ready in half an hour," he said. "Work clothes."

"How nice of work clothes?" Schuldig asked suspiciously. "Do I have to do something with my hair?"

"I ask for work, Schuldig, not miracles," Brad stated.

Schuldig laughed.

"Your regular work clothes. Nothing nice. You'll get dirty."

"Ooh, fun." Schuldig shoveled more Chinese food into his mouth. Nagi looked slightly distasteful at Schuldig being so enthusiastic about the idea of committing murder. Or maybe he was distasteful at Schuldig's large appetite before the murder.

"Be careful," he said softly. "It's Chinese. You don't know what's in it."

Schuldig swallowed. "You know what?" he asked, answering Nagi's thoughts rather than his words, "I like killing people."

Brad rolled his eyes and left the room.

"Why?" Nagi asked simply.

"Because most of the time, they deserve it," Schuldig replied.

"And if they don't?" Nagi challenged.

"Hasn't come up yet," Schuldig replied.

Nagi lowered his eyes to his plate, studying the tiny serving he had taken for himself and barely touched. "I suppose you would know," he said quietly.

Schuldig declined to mention the blissful moment of silence in his head, right after the kick from the gun. He doubted it would improve Nagi's opinion on the subject. The kid was going to have to learn not to be squeamish sooner or later, but there was no need to rush it. "Why aren't you eating?" he asked, changing the subject. Nagi wasn't exactly a big eater, but he wasn't usually this bad.

"Not hungry," Nagi said tersely, and took a mouthful as if to make Schuldig drop the subject.

"I figured that," Schuldig said.

"It'll be here later." Nagi stood up, put his food back into the white cardboard container it had come from, and started to move the leftovers into the fridge.

Schuldig left for his room, muttering about people being so damn tempermental.

Nagi glared after him. /Why don't you just look if you want to know?/

"Because I'm trying to respect your privacy," Schuldig shouted back.

/You didn't seem so concerned with it when telling me you liked killing people./

"You were being a jerk," Schuldig told him.

Nagi smiled slightly. "I thought you wanted me to grow a personality," he said, clearing the rest of the table.

"Well, yes," Schuldig said. "But that doesn't mean I have to abandon mine."

Brad stuck his head into the hallway. "We're going to be late if you two don't stop bickering."

Schuldig looked at him. "No we're not. If we were, you would have told us forty-five minutes ago to be ready in a half an hour."

Brad snorted softly and shut his bedroom door again.

"Ha ha," Schuldig called after him, but he went into his room to change.

^^^^

The mission had been a good half hour outside the city, and by the time it was over, they were all tired. Nagi fell asleep in the backseat of the car on the way home. Brad was letting Schuldig drive, feeling that he should get the hang of Tokyo driving late at night, when there were fewer cars on the road.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked Schuldig dryly.

"Quite," Schuldig said, though in truth he hadn't really been feeling bad.

"Good." There was a brief pause. "Don't get in any accidents," Brad advised, and closed his eyes to scan the future without giving Schuldig a chance to reply.

Schuldig just kept driving. He knew from experience that interrupting Brad while he was in trance was an extremely bad idea. The precognitive had a tendency to get very annoyed, and had said the first time that the future ran in threads, and if he lost one, he had to start back at the present and work his way forward again. He couldn't help wondering, however, if Brad's instructions not to get in any accidents were from something he'd seen or if he was just being his usual charming self.

They were nearly into the city when Brad opened his eyes again. As usual, he said nothing about whatever he had seen.

"So do I get to have my own car?" Schuldig asked with a smirk.

"You ought to have enough money in your account in a month or two," Brad answered absently. This was obviously not what he had been concentrating on. Most of their salary was split between the three of them (though Brad got the largest portion and Nagi the smallest, as he was new), and they drew most of their funds for missions from a large bank account that only Brad could access.

"I can't figure out why you're so paranoid about me and money," Schuldig grumbled. "It's not like I've ever gone nuts or anything."

Brad raised an eyebrow at him. "Gone? No."

"With the money," Schuldig snapped.

"You have access to your salary. Your complaint is therefore unfounded." Brad stared out the window, watching the Tokyo skyline draw closer.

Schuldig heaved a sigh. "You're no fun."

"So you've told me many times."

"Is anything exciting going to happen?"

Brad glanced over at him. "Yes," he said. "I imagine so."

"What?"

"You know, you always ask me that, and yet I never answer," Brad said. "One would think you would have learned by now."

"Sometimes you answer," Schuldig said. "Never about the important stuff, but I can always hope you'll slip up."

Brad let out an amused snort. It was as close to laughter as Schuldig had ever seen him get.

"So do I get to use the car from now on?" Schuldig asked.

"If I'm available to go with you."

"Oh, I have to have a chaperone," Schuldig drawled. "How cute."

"I like this car."

"Me too," Schuldig said. "I also like my body. I have no intentions of getting into an accident, I assure you."

"People rarely do," Brad remarked offhandedly.

"Are you seeing something you're not telling me about?"

"I see many things I don't tell you about, Schuldig."

"I know," Schuldig groaned. "You're so damn secretive."

"It's one of my many charms."

"You do have an overabundance of charm," Schuldig remarked.

"Said the pot to the kettle."

"Hmph," Schuldig replied.

^^^^