The Following Trailer Is Rated NM For No Mercy!
From the director that must be the whitest looking Mexican in cinema history, comes a film that generated critical acclaim, won numerous awards, and took the film industry by storm, proving that Hollywood will prop anything up on a pedestal if it's weird enough.
The Shape of Water!
Meet Elisa, a mute, mousy, unattractive custodian working at a top secret facility during the Cold War.
When abusive army stereotype Col. Strickland brings back a mysterious fishman from the depths of the Amazon, Elisa and the fishman bond over the mutual crappyness of their lives, forming a romantic bond that would make any normal person want to vomit.
Cringe as del Toro constructs an literally ugly interspecies romance between an f##king fishman, and a woman who is arguably less attractive than the f##king fishman.
When Elisa can no longer take the abuse her beloved fishman is suffering (ugh, just saying that makes me feel dirty) at the hand of the evil military, she frees him and they go on the run, proving once again the immortal power of love, even is that love is an abomination of nature than makes Princess Elise kissing Sonic The Hedgehog look good by comparison. But all bad love stories must come to an end, and this one ends on a weirdass cliffhanger that resolves nothing, but del Toro got his fishman romance, so I guess little things like story resolution don't really matter.
So run like hell from a film that could have been a griping, creative drama highlighted by the uncertainly of the Cold War era, but ended up as just another platform for del Toro to express his creepy fishman fetish, as well an excuse for film theorists to go nuts about how this piece of crap is somehow connected to the Hellboy Franchise. As if.
Starring:
Abe Sapien- The Amphibian man
Fish Fetish- Guillermo del Toro
Fish Face- Elisa
Every Evil Army Officer Ever- Strickland
Big Mama- Zelda
The Shape Of del Toro's Psyche!
I just hope del Toro never manages to worm his way into the Aquaman franchise. Can you imagine the creepy direction things would take? Ugh.